World's Meanest Mom!

A Nightmare for Us All

2009-06-28T23:04:00.005-05:00

On Thursday night (6/25), The DIVA disappeared from our house.

She ran away from home.

I woke up Friday morning and got ready to take her to cheerleading practice. I went downstairs, only to have The Big Man tell me that she was gone. I checked the house, checked the garage and found her bike missing, then I started making calls. The first was to Dad. He was at work, so there wasn't a lot he could do from there, but he said to keep him posted and he'd do whatever he needed to. I called my father-in-law and had him pick up The Big Man and The Little Man, so that they didn't have to go through all the drama. I had no idea what this was going to entail, but I knew I'd have to call the police and report her missing, and I didn't want the boys to have to be stressed any further than need be.

The boys had just left when the officer finally showed up at the house. I wasn't good at the details for the report because I didn't know exactly what time she'd gone missing. Dad last spoke to her just after 8 PM on Thursday evening, before we'd all headed to bed. When he got up for work on Friday morning and went to leave the house at 6:40 AM, the house was still locked up from the inside, so at that point, we assumed she'd left between that time and around 7:45, when the boys went downstairs to watch TV. This was all the information I had to give the officer, other than the missing bike. I had only 2 places that she might have gone: cheerleading practice or the pool, as The Big Man said she's told him that she might go there. He made the report, gave me the case number and the info to contact him, then left to go try to locate her.

I then got in the van and headed out to see what I could find. I drove all over 3 cities, trying all the places I thought she might possibly be, and came up with nothing. I called every friend of hers that I had a number for, and no one knew anything. I got on Facebook (which I'd HIGHLY recommend in a situation like this), and I posted the fact that she was missing. I heard from people I knew back in high school, whom I hadn't spoken to in years, all who wanted to try and do what they could to help us find her. I also went through her friends list and sent them messages, letting them know that she'd run away and that we needed to locate her. I let them all know that any info they might provide would be confidential, so that in case they were worried that if they gave her up and didn't want her to be upset, that they'd know I wouldn't tell her who gave me the info and create conflict or drama. I called hospitals and urgent care centers, her therapist's office, middle and high schools (hey, I was desperate!), and none of the calls got me anywhere. I just kept calling family members to tell them that I didn't have anything to tell them. :(

On Friday evening, around 9 PM, Dad, the boys, and I got into the van to venture out yet again. We headed over to home of one of the friends she'd been with the previous day to see if she knew anything, since she hadn't answered any of my calls or emails that day. I met her parents for the first time, who were incredibly helpful to us. The friend was rather vague, and I detected a lie right away. Her parents didn't pick up on it, but I did. The mom and the friend then took us to another girl's home who lived nearby where I was now convinced The DIVA was hiding out, based on the girl's responses to our questioning.

When we got there, this other girl's parents were already in bed, with no kids in sight. She was very nice to me and introduced herself very politely, knowing who The DIVA was and having had her at their house that day. She got very worried though, not knowing who I was coming to get her, as she had no idea The DIVA was a runaway, of course. My cunning child had gone so far as to call yet another kid to have them pose as me, so that she could put this girl's dad on the phone to give her permission to stay over there! This really upset the mom, so she got the dad out of bed to verify what exactly was going on. WHAT A MESS! :( We all went inside and sat down to sort it out, with me being all apologetic about my kid's manipulation of their poor family and the mom's apologies for my kid being missing, as she felt the pain of what it would be like to be in my shoes. It certainly wasn't the way we'd all intended to be introduced to one another! LOL It was a great conversation though, as The DIVA is a great kid - this was simply a cry for attention at this time. We decided that we'd allow her to stay over one more night, as the girls had gone to a church dance. I would come and get her in the morning rather than have a scene when they arrived home at their midnight curfew, only to find that Mom had, indeed, found her secret hiding place after all. At least, it allowed ME and Dad to be able to rest easy (sort of), knowing that our child was safe and taken care of, instead of other places that my mind had led me that day...places that no mother ever wants to go.

I'm happy to say that The DIVA is home now and safe. I picked her up on Saturday morning, and we've been trying to work with her on some of the issues she's raised. She seems to feel that we never let her go anywhere or do anything. We're the "World's Meanest Parents," and we don't care about her at all. We've always tried to work with her and meet her in the middle on things she wants to do, but it's not always possible, for whatever reason. I feel very badly that she has such insecurities, but I cannot fix them for her....it's things that she has to work on for herself, but with our support. She needs to learn to trust us more. We've always been there for her, done our best to meet her every want (within reason) as well as her needs, and unfortunately, she's still of the mindset that it's not enough for her. I can only do so much though, and I will not give up being a parent to appease her desires. Not going to happen.

In talking with her friends after this, as a number of them have been messaging through Facebook now in response to mine, I've found that her actions have been bothering them as well but they just haven't said anything about it. This REALLY concerns me, but I know that they are far more likely to get through to her at this time of "teen angst" than we parents are. Since we are totally uncool losers, the opinions of her friends far supersede anything WE might have to say. ;) I've enlisted the help of some of these kids, including the girls that she was with these nights, to try and discuss some of her behaviors with her. I really do have faith that they will get through to her where we have been unable to lately. I know that kids do dumb things - we ALL did when we were their age - but at their age, they do need some leeway to find their own way. When safety is an issue, their option to handle things themselves is revoked, and Mom and Dad must step in to do it. It's SCARY AS HELL that she did this, and her friends are in total agreement. I mean, she biked 10-12 miles, in the dark, on a 4-lane highway, crossing one of the most dangerous intersections in town! Her friends have a lot to say to her about the safety issue of this and other things, and they also want to talk to her about her lying as of late.

I'm SO glad that they want to see her on the right path, as it's incredibly important for your kids to be surrounded by good friends with positive influences on them. I'm also happy to see that the parents of her friends and I are sharing the same values in raising our kids, and that they're not black-balling The DIVA for her mistakes during all this. I mean, they could easily tell their children that they're no longer to be friends with her now, due to concerns for what stuff she might get their kids into after this, but they've chosen to give The DIVA the benefit of the doubt, and I appreciate that. I feel that her friends' positive influence will be far greater on her, than any negative influence she might have on them (if any). It's still going to be a bumpy ride though for a while, for everyone.

WOW.

*breathes deeply*

Parenting is never easy...use the buddy system and a TON of common sense. ;)

Happy Father's Day to the World's Meanest Dad!

2009-06-21T21:14:00.003-05:00

It's only proper that the World's Meanest Mom be joined in wedded bliss to the World's Meanest Dad, right?! So, today, I give him his due!

Dad gives us unconditional love, even when he hates us some days.

He gives us money from his never-ending toiling at his job, with which we keep our home and lives comforted.

He gives us joy in our days, when he takes us on family vacations and little outings. He gives me joy in my nights, when he snuggles up to me, and we wash away the stress of our days together.

He gives us all kinds of things, even when he's not really giving us anything at all. Just the fact that he keeps coming home after all those hard days at work, means the world to me. He still wants to be with us, even through the toughest times, and that's irreplaceable.

I have something in my life that other women will spend their whole lives searching for and never find, and I thank God for him every day of my life. No one can take his place, no man could be a better man than he is, and I want the world to know that he is taken. I'm so very happy that we've made this family together, and that we'll be raising it together, enjoying every moment with each other.

Happy Father's Day, Baby...I love you. XOXOXO

Today, I am OLD!

2009-06-17T00:08:00.004-05:00

My baby girl is 14 today!

(sniff, sniff!)

I'm feeling very old and wrinkled today.
(Anyone got any "old lady cream" on them?)

As I look around at the majority of my old friends and high school classmates, most of them are either unmarried, newlyweds, or have very young families. A good number of them could call my kid to come and babysit theirs! (hint, hint) When they were all preparing their college applications and picking out prom dresses, I was changing diapers and working 2 jobs to pay for my apartment whilst I finished my senior year. I did miss a lot of events, but I don't regret it. It was just "stuff," and it certainly wasn't the end of the world.

I've often felt sorry for some of these people, mostly because they missed a lot of that quick growing up that I did. A lot of people that I used to know as friends, ditched me after my daughter was born. They were apparently "too cool" to hang around someone who was so matronly now. I chalked it up to their loss, but frankly, I've never gotten over that hurt they caused me then. I have never blamed my child for things other people felt I lost out on, because I never missed it. I was too busy with important things, like seeing my baby's first smile, watching her crawl for the first time, and helping her take her first steps, all before college even started that fall. No one I knew had the joy of such miracles in their life!

The DIVA goes to high school in the fall. She will carry with her a group of friends, some of which she'll retain until graduation, some that will fade and be replaced a few times along the way. I'm going to be the youngest mom of them all. Her friends have come to know that, even though this is a fact and that I'm pretty cool, they can't pull any crap with me! I am more than happy to be on the level with them and be their friend, but I will ALWAYS be the parent first. Most of them are quite satisfied with this, a few are not so much....those are the ones I worry about. Those are the ones who are most like I was back all those years ago. ;)

As I watch my sleeping angel baby, who used to be so tiny but who's now taking up a king-size bed, I see how far she's come...how far we've both come. It's amazing to see how beautiful and spunky and sweet she's become. The DIVA never ceases to test my patience, but she's become a professional apologizer in her own right. ;) The past 14 years have been the best of my life, and I wouldn't change them for anything.

*Totally off topic....When we went shopping for this dress for The DIVA's 8th Grade Promotion Dance, SHE picked this one out herself. It bears a similarity to the dress that I wore to my own 8th grade dance. Mine was also black & white with spaghetti straps - black with white polka dots, as a matter of fact. If I dug out the photo and showed it to her, she may very well die of embarassment, you know. ;)

Remorse...we all have it

2009-06-16T23:26:00.004-05:00

You know, I was reading an article today...

http://omg.yahoo.com/news/alec-baldwin-very-serious-about-suicide-following-leaked-voicemail-to-daughter/23911#comments

And I wondered, aloud, about feeling this same sense of shame. Yeah, I get upset at my kids, and I've also gotten to the point where I have said some things that I have regretted later on. YES, I ADMIT IT - SO WHAT?! I'm woman enough to do it, and in this public arena too. I'm also woman enough to say that I feel horrible about it afterward. I have also apologized for my behavior, after everyone calmed down and we all regained our composure. I've taken these rare opportunities to use my negative behavior to show my children that I'm human and that I, too, make mistakes. It is possible to come back from something bad and turn it around into something good, you know.

We're all entitled to have our moments of weakness, as our emotions can eat us away inside, however we're not allowed to hurt others in that process. It's up to us as parents to set the very best example we can, but there are times when we do mess up. Fortunately, a lesson can be learned from that, and we can use those moments where we've failed our children, to teach them how NOT to act and how NOT to treat others. What better example to use than those we set, and sometimes, it can be the negative ones that will leave the biggest impression. If we are able to make a right out of our wrong, to show our remorse and prove our sincerity within our apology, it's going to impress upon them that you did not mean what you said and that you wish to make it right for them. Their hurt will diminish much faster than if you simple seek an apology and don't explain how you were in the wrong. It's not about you're feelings, it's about theirs!

This may be where Alec messed up, at least in the public's eyes. Because he didn't make a huge production and sky-write it, with his child standing in front of him and all the cameras, he somehow didn't make this up to her. BS! Alec Baldwin, IMO, deserves nothing more or less than what his daughter thinks he does. If she's willing to forgive him and move on, than that is all that matters. It's not up to us to pass judgment on their relationship, nor is it up to his ex-wife to get involved here. It's between those two people alone, and for them to repair their relationship, if they wish. I feel badly for both of them, for this whole situation, as family affairs like this do not deserve the spotlight. I wish them the very best.

Does it still take a village to raise a child?

2009-05-08T21:42:00.005-05:00

I think it does.

There have been a million and one times when I could have used an extra set of hands, or another voice of encouragement (maybe even a loud one), to help me corral my brood in a public place. It's not that they're always acting up either. One such example would be a few months back, when I went into Boston Store to stop by the Origins counter. I only had one thing to pick up, no shopping there or anything. I had The Little Man with me, and it was mid afternoon, so he was rambunctious (imagine that!). I had pulled out my credit card, and no sooner had I handed it over to the lady, when the kid is climbing out of his stroller and running away at full speed.

Now, I can barely walk most days, and I NEVER run because I simply can't. What The Little Man did here, was my worst nightmare! So I'm snatching my card and receipt from the saleswoman, who's finding it all sickly amusing, grab the bag and my stroller, and start off as fast as I possibly can after him. He's repeatedly looking behind him, to see if I'm still following him and how much space is between us, laughing yet still running away. I pass NO LESS than 8 adults in my chase, most of whom are employed there. They all witness a woman in tears, dragging an empty stroller, as she desperately tries to gimp along at a half-run pace whilst calling to her child, who's clearly outrunning her. If you were there, what would you do?

By the time I'm getting close to catching up to him, the only thing slowing him down is the double doors that lead out to the parking lot! There's an elderly saleswoman nearby, whom he's already run directly past, who makes the mistake of saying to me, "You had better catch that child before he runs into the street and gets run over by a car!" I blew a gasket at this point. I yelled, in her general direction (because I was busy running after someone), "WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?! MIGHT HAVE BEEN NICE IF YOU'D HAVE HELPED ME OUT HERE!" She had the nerve to be offended.... ha. She's lucky that's all I said, AND she's extra lucky that I didn't gather myself and my child and double back to give her an additional piece of my mind, AND find her manager to let them know what a bang-up job she was doing in customer service that day. ;)

Even after all that, I didn't bawl The Little Man out. After all, he's too young to understand that Mommy can't run after him because her back's no good. He was just having a good time! If he was with Daddy, it would have been fine, and many times, it has been OK for him to run ahead a bit. He hates having to sit in a stroller because Mommy can't manage him otherwise on some days, which is how this got started in the first place. It's not his fault, and it's not mine either- I do what I have to, to keep him safe and still accomplish things. On this particular day, things just went a bit haywire. :( If anyone with common sense would have taken a look at this situation, they'd have headed him off and stopped him, or at least slowed him down a bit, in order for me to catch up with him. Old Lady Rude certainly had no concept....she wasn't helping at all here. I'm sure she and her other elderly cohort there had a heyday, gossipping about what an awful parent I was to let my kid run around like that or some other foolishness. LMAO!

I came across www.onekindword.org, and I thought that a number of Boston Store patrons and employees might have benefited from its mission on this particular day. My child, luckily, didn't suffer any ill-effects from his little jaunt (and possibly worked out some energy), but had he have made it out the second double door, I don't even want to think about what might have happened. He was already through the first when I finally caught him. I freak out inside just thinking about it right now. My heart's no good for close calls anymore! :O

Can we? Can we? Huh? HUH? HUH?!

2009-05-08T00:43:00.007-05:00

My children have found a new thing to beg for in their lives, as if there weren't enough before. They now beg, pretty much daily, to be taken to the West YMCA.

Honestly, this is a whine I can live with! It's a healthy thing to beg for, a family event that we can all enjoy in various ways. Here's how...

The DIVA wants to go so she can work out in the Lifestyles Center- running on the treadmill, using the stair climber, lifting weights, whatever- so that she can be in shape for cheerleading at the high school this fall. I also think she's trying to check out guys up there, as well as be checked out herself now. I'm no idiot, you know. ;)

The Big Man loves to go into the Youth Zone. He's discovered (after an hour of arguing about how dumb and stupid and lame it was) that they have a Wii in there, which has Dance Dance Revolution on it (a game we do not own). I'm happy as hell that he's latched onto that because he could really use the exercise, and I'm considering investing in the thing for the house now. They have snacks in there, help with homework, arts & crafts, readings, "hanging out"...oh, and video games.

The Little Man has found that he can do a plethora of activities in this large building! He can go play with other kids in the nursery, where they have TONS of new toys that he doesn't have at his house. He can go to preschool there too, which is one of his favorite things to do! He's mad right now because he can't go to "real" school, meaning the regular preschool classes, because he's not completely potty-trained just yet (not for lack of trying, just laziness on his part- LOL!). He can go to the gym and play basketball, and on certain nights, they have blow-up things to play on too. His greatest joy these days is to play fishy in the pool, and he's getting much better at doggie-paddling a foot or two away from Mommy. One of these days, he might even let her let go of him!

OH! I almost forgot! Mommy likes to go to the Y too! :)

I joined a Yoga for Bigger Bodies class. I picked this one because I have a serious back condition, and this class description said that it was a modified class for varied abilities. I thought that might be more helpful to me, since I really do need to get the stretching in but can't go full-out in a regular yoga class. I'm having a great time in there, and it's a great class with a great group of women. I make the night of my class "Mommy Night," and no one goes with me that night. It's a very relaxing evening, and I don't feel stressed or rushed at all because I don't have to drag anyone in or out of the house or van or building or van or house or....you get the idea. ;)

I am PROUD to be Generation X!

2009-05-07T14:25:00.004-05:00

Luckily, I do not fall into THIS category of Gen X'ers, who are a total bunch of fools.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30585984/

It absolutely sickens me to see parents who coddle their infants into this sad form of toddler narcissism, which can only be blamed on their parents. When those poor kids arrive in kindergarten and join a school environment, that behavior often gets labeled as hyperactivity, ADD, ADHD, ODD, or any number of mental health disorders, when really it all boils down to awful parenting from the get-go. It's all downhill from there. :(

However, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and it can be turned around, but it is up to those same parents who caused the issue to take back the reigns and FIX IT FOR THEMSELVES! Have you even heard the phrase, "You made your bed, now lie in it"? I think that applies here. Of course, the real problem lies in getting the parents to realize that a problem even exists in the first place.

True story....

I am the mom who said to the vice-principal at one of my children schools last Friday (I'll withhold the name to protect the guilty!), "Go ahead and suspend _____ if you have to! If the behavior has warranted that punishment, I have no problem with that. It is high time that ______ learned that it's not going to be tolerated by YOU or by ME. If it affects _____'s permanent record, so be it. This is the fourth time in less than 10 days that we're having this conversation." The sad thing is, that I actually had to say this to the guy! (And no, this particular child did not end up suspended after all.)

I think this sort of parenting has molded our school system to fear these parents, as they're calling teachers and administrators, complaining that little Johnny or Janie isn't succeeding in school....HEY! Wake up, idiot! It's probably because your kid isn't applying themselves, not because the teachers not doing their job right! God forbid your kid get a bad grade on a test- why should the teacher give them a chance to do it over again?! Does your boss give you a chance for a do-over on a big presentation for a client?! Um, no. Maybe, instead of you handing them a wad of cash (because they sure didn't have to earn it by doing chores or anything constructive! *gasp*) and dropping your 11-yr-old off at the mall with his/her friends (why would a kid that young need to go there alone anyway?!), they could have got some studying done, actually learned the chapters and maybe even *GASP* ACED that test?!?!?! We are supposed to be prepping these kids for adulthood here. That's what human parents do. We're not raising our kids like wolves in the woods, where it really doesn't matter how one treats the others and survival of the fittest is the name of the game.

On the other hand, I am also the parent who, at the other child's school, has repeatedly gone to bat with that administration over their SERIOUSLY lax policies on bullying. I will wear out my tap-dancing shoes when it comes to protecting my children from something of which they are the victim. I will go to hell and back to be sure they are safe and secure. God help the other person who's on the other side of that coin, going up against Momma Bear, protecting her cubs! LOL I will not allow someone or something to hurt them in any way, if I can help it. I find it impossible to see how parents cannot delineate the difference between what behaviors belong to their children and that put them in a negative situation, and those that are created by others and leave them in a negative situation.

Maybe I just paid closer attention to my parenting manual...you know, the one they gave all of us when we left the hospital with our babies?

Bad news bear!

2009-04-09T13:57:00.004-05:00

Someone is ruining my bed right now. He's jumping all over it, causing severe bruising to a certain someone's shins, without a care in the world. This certain someone is not amused.

Normally, The Little Man is pretty good when he's in my room. I have things in here that he shouldn't be touching, and he knows that, so he doesn't. Today, all those rules are out the window, apparently. He's been messing with the coupons I've clipped, my Turbo Tax software, magazines and mail I've yet to read, and, well, pretty much anything he finds. He's been in the bathroom, turning the water on and off, filling up the sink, putting random items into it. He's been "reorganizing" the toiletries in there. He's been playing with the toilet paper. He's been...

driving his mother nuts.

I know that he wants to be entertained (all the time), but there are times when Mommy doesn't want to entertain The Little Man. Or anyone else. This is one of them.

*Sigh.*

Is it time for Daddy to come home yet?

Catching you all up to speed...

2009-04-06T22:49:00.002-05:00

So, it has been a while since I blogged...again...but I have a good reason for it, really!

WHAT?! You don't believe me?!

Well, if you're not convinced, feel free to choose one from the following list, one that you feel is most accurate to my situation.

I have not blogged lately because I have:

a) been horribly busy with family, schools, work, home life, etc., etc., etc.,

b) been stricken with malaria and had an awful time recovering after my trip to a tropical island paradise,

c) just totally forgotten to blog,

d) run away from home.

If you know me well, you probably chose E) all of the above. (BTW, b) actually happened during one of my vivid hallucinations during a recent episode of Yo Gabba Gabba.)

Now on with the show!!!

The Little Man, who's 3 1/2 now, is having the time of his life driving his mother, full-speed-ahead, into the nuthouse. At the helm of his pirate ship, he enjoys chaos and havoc wherever he may go. Here's one of his recent shenanigans...

Whenever the phone rings, it's a call to action for The Little Man. That ring means "make as much trouble as fast as possible before Mom's attention gets diverted back to me!" I'm sorry that I ruin his fun so often, when it's a short call or *gasp!* a wrong number, but he does work like a ninja, I'll give him that. ;) There are things he does that I don't even find right away, that I never see, hear, or smell until later in the day. It's both frightening and worth a standing ovation, folks. I hung up the phone the other day, started walking upstairs, and found this...

Innocent enough, right? Ha. He says to me, "I'm just waiting, Mommy." "Waiting for what?" I asked. He sat up with the same cutesy smile and said, "Waiting for you to vacuum!" Uh-oh. I got worried and started looking around for the source of what it was that I was supposed to vacuum UP. Knowing my luck, it was a box of glitter. My nose led me to the bathroom behind him in this photo, where I found this little number...

Yes. I was supposed to be vacuuming! I was supposed to vacuum up this lovely pile of carpet freshener, which The Little Man so graciously set out for me...in the bathroom sink. Yeah, it was the entire container, a brand new one too. Just in case you were wondering, carpet freshener, when mixed with water, creates a concrete-like substance. You could patch your driveway with it! Crazy. It was good luck for me, as the stuff made a plug of sorts that allowed me to scoop up a good bit of the stuff and put it back into the container, unharmed. Saved me from having to go spend another couple bucks on another one, even though I did have a $1 off coupon on this one! ;)

The Little Man isn't all trouble though. He has some really great days too, like the day he gave up his Nukkie. That started out with him and a pair of scissors (phone, again). He decided it would be a good idea to cut the end of the nipple part off the Nukkie. Guess what?! No more Nukkie, my dear! He actually bought that, even though we have 1.2 million Nukkies stashed around the house and in the car, just in case of emergency where it's not able to be located at bedtime. There is one still around, and I have no idea why because as of the end of February, The Little Man is Nukkie-free! He also has started going on the potty- YAY!!!! I'm getting rather tired of changing diapers after all these years, to be honest with you, so I'm very happy to get to this milestone. He goes right to the potty now for both "numbers" with only a few reminders during the day. He's excited that he'll get to start going to school, now that he's getting totally potty trained. I'm not sure who is more excited, exactly.

The Big Man had his birthday in January, and he turned the big ol' 1-0 this year! He had a great time with all of his friends at his Bakugan Battle Brawl Bowling Bash! (Say that 5 times fast, I dare you.) He LOVES bowling, but he wanted to do a Bakugan-themed party too, so we combined the two and it was a hit. Ten 10-yr-olds showed up, so it was a BIG party, bigger than we'd thought it would be. His buds found out what would be happening there, and no one wanted to miss it! The kids bowled, ate pizza and cake, then had a small Bakugan tournament before all the parents came. Instead of putting together goody bags with all sorts of little things the kids would throw away or eat, we decided to give each child their own Bakugan as a party favor. That way, even if they didn't bring their own Bakugan from home to play with in the tournament, they'd be guaranteed to have at least one. They were totally psyched, and I was, for a fleeting moment, the Coolest Mom Evah! ;) I suppose they expected the goody bags full of junk, but then they got a cool toy that they would use a million times and play with together. They did a great job with the tournament too, which they ran by themselves (read: Mom has no idea how to play so she couldn't run it anyway)...

I'm also proud to announce that The Big Man did awesome in Cub Scouts this year! He was promoted to Webelos II, which he'll start again in the fall. He really enjoys his den, and the dynamics there are good for him. He also built a really good car for the pinewood derby this year, and he did SO well that he won 2nd place for his Webelos I division! YAY!!!! At the Blue & Gold Banquet, which is the end-of-the-year celebratory banquet for all of the Cub Scouts in his pack, he received recognition on stage for his pinewood derby car's racing abilities and also got his trophy with the other boys. Dad and I knew, along with Grandma and Grandpa (who also attended), that The Big Man was going to get this award, but he didn't, so it was great to see the surprise and excitement grow within him when he found him name in the program. We were all so proud when he came back and showed us his trophy...

The DIVA....whew! Just saying that wears me out these days! LOL

Yes, and at 13, she is too cool for YOU, too. ;)

Well, she's just recently moved back home with us, after spending roughly a year and a half living with my sister's family. She was attending school in their district, and it drastically improved her grades and work habits, so overall, the decision to move her was productive. Her unexpected and abrupt move home has been very difficult for her, emotionally, but we're working with her to help her deal with that. I've just received word that both The DIVA and The Big Man will both be attending the other district in the fall, through Open Enrollment. We are all VERY relieved by this news, and we're even happier to have The DIVA home with us for good! :)

Over Christmas (which wasn't blogged about at all here), The DIVA spent some time with her grandpa, indulging in one of his hobbies: photography. The two of them and one of her cousins went out on a mini-trip while we were vacationing in Galena, and she shot some really amazing winter scenery. Here are just a few of those that she took...

I've helped her get set up to try and sell them, just like Grandpa! If you're interested in purchasing these, or if you'd like to see some others, feel free to contact me. She's offering prints from 4"x6" up to sofa-size (unframed), sets of note cards, desk and wall calendars, keychains, and mousepads. I'm proud that she's found a hobby and that she wants to incorporate her entrepreneurial spirit as well! The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, you know. ;)

I'm also happy to say that my baby girl has made JV football cheerleading as a freshman for the fall! GO TEAM!! :) She tried out a few weeks ago, along with the 8th grade girls from both middle schools and all of the high school girls, and she must have done very well to make it into one of those coveted few spots. She's going to spend her summer working on her form and building up some muscle (the only girl I know who wants to gain weight!), so she's asked me to help her with her diet and workouts. I'm glad she came to me with this, rather than trying to figure it out on her own. This is a huge step for us, as a mother/daughter team. She's blossoming and learning that I'm not such a nerd after all and that I might actually be of some use to her. *giggles*

As for me, random stuff...

Instead of treading water, I'm just floating right now. I've got so much going on all the time, I don't know which end is up. Hubby and I are trying to spend more couple time together, since it's been sorely lacking in recent months. I'm addicted to Fish Wrangler on Facebook and should join a 12-step program for it. I'll be planting my garden and sprucing up the landscaping in the coming weeks. My clothes are getting looser as each day passes, which means I have to go and get some more. I firmly believe in the power of Craigslist.

And my final random thought for today- I'm SO glad that we finally have a president who's staunchly advocating personal responsibility, for every American, so I don't have to go it alone out here! ;)

Call Mills Lane...and DCFS!

2008-10-18T12:19:00.000-05:00

I have always been proud of the way I've been raising my children: parent first, friend second. Here, in this video clip, I see exactly why it is that I should continue to do it and be patting myself on the back, no matter how many nay-sayers I encounter in a day.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2008/10/17/pn.mother.daughter.brawl.cnn

This Mother-of-the-Year has decided that it was a stellar idea to not only take her 12yo daughter to a fight with another girl at a public park, but to also GET INVOLVED IN IT HERSELF. The mom (and I use the term very loosely here) is now facing charges for dragging the other girl by the hair and striking her across the face. This is a clip that's not to be missed.

As a young mother myself, I'm sure a large portion of the population will pull out that card to play, and it disgusts me. Not every young mother is as mentally ill as this one, and not every young mother makes the stupid decision to abuse not only her own child, but someone else's. Yes, I said "abuse." She's abusing her own child by bringing her up to condone violence, to act and react violently, and it's wrong. Obviously, the woman's got some serious issues herself to do this sort of thing. And to publicly strike another person's child like that?! OMG.

Every single adult that witnessed that should be held accountable as well, IMO. There's no reason they should have let those girls carry on like that, nor should they have allowed that woman to injure a child and calmly walk away from the scene. When are people going to start standing up for what is right?!?!?! I will continue to teach my kids that it doesn't matter how people look at you, or what they may say about you behind your back, but it is up to your own moral compass to guide you in situations like this and to stand up and do the decent and honorable thing to do. Parents, we're not talking about running into burning buildings here! You want your child to be the one who stands by when his/her best friend is being bullied? Or worse yet, to be the bully themselves? Of course not. Then teach them that this sort of behavior is unacceptable. Feel free to show them this video, and discuss their thoughts on it. Ask them what they'd do in that situation, and how they feel about a parent who acts like that. I know what my own kids will say when I show it to them...

The DIVA: "OMG! I'd be SOOOOO embarassed if my mom was at a fight I was in, let alone actually IN IT! Mom, you're never driving me to a fight. Ever."

(Me: "Um, not exactly what I was going for, but you're right...I'll never be driving you to a fight.")

The Big Man: Why would somebody's mom take them to a fight? Wouldn't they get in trouble for fighting?

(Me: "Yes, they should be getting in trouble. You don't need to resort to fighting and violence to resolve your issues.)

The Little Man: Fighting is naughty. They go to their rooms!

(Me: That's right, Little Man! They're being very naughty. The mommy needs to go to her room too.)

Being open with ALL of my kids, on a level they can understand, has been very helpful for me. It's our "friendship" connection that many parents feel they must have. I'm open and honest with them, about anything they want to ask me about, but I draw lines on their behaviors and my willingness to allow certain privileges at certain ages. No-holds-barred Muy Thai is saved for the over-21 crowd, and even then, only if you've been formally trained in Thailand.

A quiet dinner

2008-09-18T17:22:00.000-05:00

We moms dream of those meals that are cooked by others and that we get to eat whilst they are still warm, hot even. This is the stuff dreams are made of!

The other day, I took The DIVA, The Big Man, and The Little Man out to dinner at Boston's. Dad was working late shift, so we decided we'd hit Petsmart so The DIVA could pick out some new fish for her tank and then grab some food. First, we thought we'd go to Old Chicago, but when we drove into their parking lot, it was totally packed and cars were parking out on the adjacent street. I didn't care to wait with a starving, exhausted 3-year-old and a cranky 9-year-old, for 45 minutes, just so that we could get a discount (we know the manager there, he hooks us up!). So, after driving around a bit, then parking to figure out where we were going without wasting anymore gas, The Big Man decided he wanted to go to Boston's. The DIVA and I didn't care. The Little Man was passed out from all the driving and the lack of nap earlier. Joy.

We head over to Boston's, and I haul The Little Man from his carseat, still sleeping. We get a large booth and this is what I get...

My sleeping son was totally passed out- nothing was going to stir him from his slumber. I did get a bit of a nod when I asked him if he wanted chocolate milk while I was putting him down. I didn't even get his coat off. I just let him be until his food got there about 20 minutes later. It was a wise choice, indeed!

Now The Big Man had a rough day at school. We've been dealing with the bullying brats at his school, and a bunch of useless staff members who are far more concerned with their contract hours than they are about my child's safety, but I digress. He's at the point where the slightest thing tips him off, and the rest of the night is hopeless for me to deal with him at times. We're trying to work with him (obviously), but it's hard for a 9yo to separate those feelings from school, and the lack of caring that goes on there, with what's happening in the here and now. I really feel for him because he can't even enjoy a good meal right now. He really can't, no matter how I try to cheer him up, once he starts thinking about what's gone on during his day. It's so sad, it breaks my heart. This was his "smile" for the evening...

That night, The Big Man and The DIVA (who declined a photo op this evening, as apparently Mr DeMille hadn't notified her of any closeups) had worked out a plan where she would order a 10" pepperoni pizza, he would order chicken strips and fries, and they'd split the two meals between the two of them. Neither of them could decide between the two meals which they wanted, so they compromised. The best part about this was that I played no part in this whatsoever! They planned it between themselves, divided the food equally, and never squaballed at all during any of it. Had I not have been sitting there the entire time, I would have sworn I came back from the restroom and sat down at a different table, with different kids. I'm very proud of them, that they're able to get along better these days. I've always known they've had it in them, and they certainly have their days, but overall, they do well right now. This is another moms' dream: your children getting along with one another, without having to be begged or bribed. However, when the do, you always wonder if they are up to something.

And so we come to my real dream for the evening- hot food that someone else cooked for me! I got my pizza, which I ordered 3 times the size I actually needed, so I could take home leftovers. Hey, so I'm cheap! I did end up with lunch and dinner for the next 4 meals, TYVM! ;) I got the put-together version of a Zorba the Greek, which Boston's no longer offers on their menu. They took it off about 2 years ago or so, but I still know what what was on it and ask for it when I'm there. They never remember, so I just end up ordering a make-your-own with the toppings that were on it. It costs me more, but I only like that kind.

It's sad when you're totally excited about and yearn for simple stuff like hot food, and you consider pizza with toppings YOU want, a special treat.

Well, no, it's not exactly sad. It just means that means you are a mom.

You live and you learn sometimes

2008-09-09T22:37:00.000-05:00

Tonight, The Big Man comes to me, whilst I'm "indisposed," and shares with me that he needs to complete a 3-paragraph paper by tomorrow. It was after 8 PM already, which is his bedtime (sorta). As I sit on my throne, I'm also joined by The Little Man, Sweet Pea, and Dad, who all need something. Imagine my enthusiasm to complete all these tasks....all at the same time I handle the initial one I set out to do. So I read the paper The Big Man's teacher has given the kids on their assignment, explain it to him, and send him to get a magazine for an article (I had one for myself to read in there, but that never happened). I sent Dad to put The Little Man to bed. I sent the cat out to entertain herself elsewhere. I couldn't reach the door to lock it.

The Big Man comes back with a magazine, and I flip through to find an article quickly, so I can help him get going so he can get it over with and get to bed as fast as possible. He has no paper to write on. I send him to get some from my printer. He then finds that he's totally unable to read. I find him something shorter in the newspaper. Then he can't figure out how to make 25 sentences summarize into 12, in his own words. Life is rough here, people! I'm wondering how he manages to get dressed by himself at this point, since he seems to be unable to accomplish anything, so I continue to humor him, just for a laugh myself. He's so sad and pitiful, as he sits in his chair, totally lost and not knowing what to do at all. Woe! Sigh!

I then decided to be selfish and take a shower, so I left him to his work. When I got out of the shower, he was in bed with the light off. Great! He's all done and going to sleep, I thought. Dad went in to check on him and ask about his assignment, and what does he find? The Big Man didn't do it- he just decided he'd go to school without it tomorrow. Um, no, not so much. Dad made him get up out of bed and get it done. Dad and I then watched a show on TV, and about 40 minutes later, the whimpering and crabbiness had stopped. Here's why...

Yep, he fell asleep at the wheel. And yes, the page was still blank. If only I could be a fly on the wall to hear the elaborate story he comes up with to tell his teacher in the morning. I should send him a link to my blog, so he knows the real story. A picture's worth a thousand words, after all. ;)

What's on your plate?

2008-09-09T22:23:00.001-05:00

Ok, I can't stand it. I have to show this to the world!

Here is the morning snack of a certain 2-year-old I know (and love dearly). No, it's not my own child's plate either. The Little Man would be totally uninterested in this nightmare. I snapped this picture about 10 days ago, after I stopped laughing hysterically. I know, "it's what he likes," but come on! LMAO!

Yes, you are looking at a lovely course of marshmallows and lime finger Jello. The marshmallows appear to have been, um, 'tasted' a bit, then returned to the plate, and there they sit and await someone's hunger to get the best of them again. Perhaps that is what the spoon is for.

Sooooooo, I'll ask again, what's on YOUR plate? ;)

OMG! I missed my own anniversary!

2008-09-03T12:06:00.001-05:00

I just realized that I've had my blog for a year, as of August 25th! In my defense, I was up in Minnesota, in the land of broken cell and Internet services, on the 25th, otherwise I probably would have made a post on that day. My next-year's resolution is to write more here, now that I'm working online full-time now. I have also sent ALL my kids to school, part-time, at least, so I have more me-time to ramble on about my family on my blog! ;)

I had my wedding anniversary in August too, on the 2nd, and THAT I did remember. My husband even remembered it! I made the silly assumption that he might plan something special for us to do, now that we've been hitched for 11 years, but I was mistaken. We ended up going to Applebee's for dinner, with the kids, and that was only because no one had been to the store for groceries and there wasn't anything in the house for dinner! The kids enjoyed their chicken tenders and fries, as usual. We are awesome. ;) Anniversaries for us (like everything else) are usually planned by yours truly. We often go away for the night to a hotel, but at the very least, we will head out to enjoy a nice adult dinner, some uninterrupted conversation, and just relax a bit. I will just have to look ahead to next year, and perhaps save a bit of money for something nicer than usual.

At least something nicer than Applebee's. Yikes!

Our New Hobby

2008-09-03T09:53:00.000-05:00

We just returned this week from a very nice vacation in northern Minnesota. The DIVA stayed behind with my sister though, as she had some teenage end-of-summer party that absolutely could not be missed. Dad, The Big Man, The Little Man, and I, as well as Dad's parents, spent 7 glorious days in cabins right on a lake where the water was so clear, you could see down for nearly 8 feet in most areas. We were actually this close...

The cabins were quite primative, as well as stuck in the 1970's. Our boys had never lived at this level before, and it was kinda funny to me. They've camped in a tent for a few nights, but nothing like this.

Notice the fabulous florals and great greens. We did have a lovely kitchen though, which was stocked with the finest snack foods (whatever we hauled from home + picked up at the Super Wal-Mart in town...30 minutes away).

Of course, we didn't totally "rough it" on our trip. The Little Man decided that Scooby, Garfield, and Spongebob needed to join us on our vacation as well.

Imagine his father's horror when he got there and found that there were only 2 plugs in the whole cabin, and they were only 2-prongs, when he required 3-prong access. All was solved when we got an adaptor from the main lodge. Whew! Technological crisis averted!

The only thing that cut through the beautiful sounds of silence (besides the barking dogs) were the shrieks of delight from my boys, when they were playing outside or enjoying their newest hobby: fishing. We spent quite a bit of time on the boat over a week's time. I, personally, LOVE to fish. I have since I was a small child, when my grandpa Andy used to take us kids out on his boat and teach us all about how to bait our hooks and where to catch the biggest fish. I miss him dearly, but I know he's proud that I'm passing on his favorite pasttime to his great-grandchildren. Grandpa Andy had two great loves in his life: my grandma, and fishing. :)

The boys both had poles ready when we got there, courtesy of their Grandpa B. He was official Captain of our vessel, taking us all around the lake to different spots to cast. (I swear, I've never been on a boat that NEVER dropped anchor, even in good fishing spots, but I digress...) The Big Man was quick to catch on to casting, athough he hooked himself and other objects (and people) whilst in the learning stages. He also was rather vocal the whole week, which I think was a bit detrimental to our fishing in general. Lots of fishing to be had, but not so much catching, as the yelling was scaring them all away. Shush, boy! LOL He was so proud when he caught his first fish, a lovely rock bass- not good eating, so he went back in.

The Little Man had a great Pirates of the Carribean fishing pole, but in a bit of a struggle for control of it with The Big Man, it was lost in the drink. I jumped up as quickly as I could, and before I could reach down to grab it, the pole was gone. The Little Man watched sadly as it sunk into the dark depths. We were all on the boat that time, and a bit disgusted of course, because The Little Man was upset about his loss and we couldn't do anything about it to appease him in the middle of the lake. Dad and I headed in to town the next day to find a suitable replacement, which proved to be quite the task. We got one that we thought was perfect- a Spongebob pole that floated if dropped into the water! Yeah, right. POS. We got it back to the lake- a 30 min drive each way, mind you- only to discover that after 3 casts, the thing locked up completely and was useless. This would not do at all. Back to town we go, return the pole, head back to try and find another one. We checked another pole just like it to see if it was just the other reel that was bad, but alas, it was the design. Dad tried to 'catch' me with it, to test it out, along with some other ones, and we picked one out for him. This one was super-cool too though- it's Cars and came in a little transparent backpack, with sunglasses and a tacklebox! Each of the kids' poles had a casting plug, so unlike the hook he'd been working with (or injuring people with) before, we decided to put that on until he'd gotten the hang of casting and reeling it in. Here he is, throwing his Cars tire around.

And here he is catching his first fish! Unfortunately, this guy was a rock bass too, so he went back in too.

I won this year with the biggest fish- a bass weighing in at 1 lb 11 oz. Just missed the 2 lb mark- crap! Beat the hubby by more than half a pound though, so I'm satisfied. ;) I get to gloat for the next year until we go back to the quiet nothingness.

Eating, sleeping, fishing. I can't wait!

Bristol Palin- Moral Majority Martyr

2008-09-03T09:35:00.000-05:00

Ok, so this is the talk of the town right now. It's been on my lips too, I'll admit. Having been a teen mother myself, I feel for her. She will have a long road ahead, although her baby shower will be very nice! ;) I also feel badly that her mother's using her, um, "situation" for political gain. I see no good in including the personal lives of two teenagers and their unborn child in the mega-media forum that is the 2008 Presidential Election. Sarah Palin is an awful mother. I'm sorry, she is.

If I were Sarah Palin, I'd send my child and her soon-to-be husband on an extended vacation with all the cash I have. I'd send them away from the prying eyes of the media, all the flashbulbs and reporters' mikes, and give them some privacy. In the off chance that McCain should win the house, that baby's photos will sell right up there with the likes of Brangelina. Perhaps France might be a good locale for the birth? Besides, they'll need the alone time before the baby comes too. After all, the nanny won't want to stay overnight all the time, and Grandma will be too busy galavanting all over, doing important political work.

The idea that bringing the "extended" family together in public while trying to right a 'wrong', if you will, is A BAD IDEA. Bristol is still a child, Sarah's child, and she should be doing all she can to protect her. The world is cruel, but perhaps all these years in politics - as a woman - haven't taught her that. To make the announcement of the teen pregnancy to clear the air for the party nod is one thing, but to parade Bristol around, to try and make amends with the moral majority by showing Bristol choosing to give life rather than abort, is WRONG. I would NEVER do this to my children. I love them all far too much. I'd sacrifice my career, my whole life, before I put them into the spotlight like that.

The Little Man

2008-08-21T18:12:00.003-05:00

Were you aware of how fast toddlers grow? And how fast they learn language? And how much trouble they can get into when you're taking 2 seconds out of your day to utilize the facilities?!

The Little Man has been spending his days making a nuisance of himself to everyone around him, which is exactly what toddlers do to learn how the world works! He's happily playing with all The Big Man's toys, even though it might very well be the end of the earth on its axis if he were to touch anything in his brother's domain. He's putting a wide variety of items into both the toilet (when no one is sitting on it) and the fish tank, just to see what happens when you do that. Trust me- good things do not happen when you do that. He's running around the house like a crazy person, day and night, and I truly wonder who put the dollar coin in him...we are well past nickel here. I'm still working on that energy potion too, haven't quite perfected it yet, but I still have the names and addresses of those interested parties when it does go on the market.

I have to say, with all his shenanigans, The Little Man has certainly made his mark on the summer of 2008. He's started potty training, at his own pace of course. He's interested sometimes, but not always, and he loves his pirate pull-ups (thank you, Target!). He and I went to Target the other day to pick up some fall clothes, and we took a spin by the undies. He was fascinated by all the different kinds and wanted them all, like any toddler does. I told him that when he goes on the potty all the time, we will buy all the undies he wants. That didn't go over very well, but he will understand as we talk about it more. He has some Nemo ones now, but he wants Cars and Pirates and Diego and...well, you get the idea.

The other huge endeavor is - da da da DA! - PRESCHOOL! Yes, The Little Man has started preschool this last fall, and he's super-psyched about it. He's all about the playing and making mischief with other kids now. Mom is all about the getting 2 hours to do something alone, twice a week, even if it means I sit in the lobby with a book and a Starbucks tea. This is all about people enjoying their all-important ME time, and it is certainly money well spent in my book (not on the Starbucks...ok, maybe on that too). I'm more than happy to shell out a couple hundred bucks for preschool each semester if it means The Little Man gets some socialization, some more play time with other toys, some indoor & outdoor excersize, and lunchtime with his friends. I'm happy that he's happy with getting away from me too.

*sniff, sniff*

The Big Man

2008-08-21T18:12:00.001-05:00

A new sport has come into The Big Man's life this summer: golf. He's a few years off from the next Tiger Woods, but I have faith in him too! I have a cushy retirement to fund, you know. Grandpa signed him up for a few weeks of lessons, picked him up some used clubs and a new bag, and he's all ready to hit the links. He goes with my brother-in-law to the driving range often, and he's even been to the Par 3 with him once. For a child with a short fuse and little patience, I was concerned about his sporting interest at first, but he seems to be getting along just fine. He's really a natural too, according to my BIL! The Big Man's golfing outings have also peaked the interests of The Little Man AND The DIVA, who have also secured their own clubs (thanks to Craigslist and a very nice lady at a garage sale). I have golf balls and tees everywhere now. Ok, now if you could all submit your nicks for The Big Man for when he becomes famous, I'd appreciate it. "Tiger" is already spoken for.

This was also the summer of "I'm BORED!" The Big Man sat around, doing mostly nothing, all the time. I couldn't get him out of the house to play to save his soul. I attribute most of this unwillingness to expose himself to sunlight to the fact that the majority of our neighbors are girls, one of whom has a bit of a crush on him, and he's not dealing well with those icky, cootie-infested, skirt-wearing freaks. It's the saddest part of being a 9yo boy apparently- being lusted after by all the girls. He's mortified by this. I'm rather amused. ;)

His school year didn't end well at all. Last year was a bad year, with bad teachers and a bad classroom environment. I was very happy to see it close, perhaps moreso than he was. This year brings a different set of kids (2/3 kept him with the same bunch for 2 years), and he has a male teacher for the first time, with the exception of specials (gym, computer, music, etc). I think The Big Man will excel this year, as he has someone who he can relate to a bit better. I know his teacher well, and he will not stand for the things that have gone on in the past. My son in much more advanced than his classmates, and he's been basically held back in his own learning and kept to the median grading level, which has affected him both personally and academically. This year, he will have an IEP (independent eduation program) and that should keep him advancing at HIS pace, not that of the average student in the class. I know The Big Man will come home much happier knowing that he's excelling and no longer bored. Heaven knows it's boring enough around here for him!

He also saw very little of the PSP and no XBOX. For those of you who've been reading for a while now, you willl recall that these items are his reason for living, and the bane of my existence. We had achieved a happy medium until the negative behavior got so far out of control that I put the smack down on that. Those people who refuse to do their chores, talk back, call their mother and siblings names, and generally ignore every respectful request to cooperate, get just shy of jack squat for privileges. I am a horrifically mean mom, and you will like it! ;) He's been able to earn a bit of time with The Precious, but not very much. He's beginning to realize that I DO mean business with this, and I'm not backing down on it. Dad gets mad because then he doesn't get to play much either. Perhaps the two should work together on it and compromise somehow, huh?!

I have faith in my eldest son as well, that he will overcome the adversity he faced in 3rd grade and rise above and succeed in 4th grade. I know The Big Man is a brilliant guy, with so much love and heart to give...he's just a bit stunted right now. The school really did a number on him, and they are on my list, let me tell ya! I'd hate to be them if they step out of line with my boy this year. A horse's head may end up....nah, I wouldn't do that to the poor horse. Perhaps a dead rat though.

The DIVA update!

2008-08-21T18:00:00.000-05:00

I thought I might catch you all up on what each of my lovin' little darlin's has been up to in the past few months. There's far too much to put into one post, plus they all love the spotlight, you see. I can hear all the arguing now about who got the most sentence-time in the post, so I'm putting the kobosh on that now and giving each of them their own time on stage here. :)

The DIVA has been busy hating me, as every teenage girl does her mother. I'm so uncool. I'm such a nerd. I have no style whatsoever. My fashion sense is apparently from the 1940s, just so you all know. She turned 13 in June, and since then, she has decided that she no longer has to abide by anyone's rules but her own. It's her way or the highway, baby! Guess how well that goes over? YEP- you guessed it right! Like a turd in a punchbowl.

She's been off most days with her friends, a few of whom have behavior that I really dislike. They are a year or so older, and they are manipulative brats whose parents are like those in my previous post....they let them run their own lives. Um, no. That is why YOU are in charge until those kids turn 18. They CAN'T make all their own decisions because they're not equipped to do so yet. Your job is to do that for them until you've sufficiently raised them to do a good job of it on their own, and they can legally do so for themselves. None of these 13 & 14yo's are at this point yet, of course, although if you asked them (and perhaps their parents), you'd get an entirely different answer. When The DIVA comes home and tells me So-and-So is pregnant or got someone pregnant, I will have them picked out before she even mentions their name, lets just say that.

*le sigh*

Thus far, The DIVA's been making good decisions, but she has found herself a few "boyfriends" along the way. I do not allow dating, or even group dating, but she's managed to get some of that in without an adult around a few times. I know I can't keep her in a closet forever, but her lack of good decision making skills has prevented me from slacking up the leash at all. If she proves to me that she can handle it, I'm willing to negotiate my position.

School ended on a great note, and it seems to be starting on a very good one now. She's enthusiastic about being back, seeing some of the friends she didn't see this summer, and is looking forward to her new teachers too. I'm glad that she's taking the initiative to put forth more effort and trying to like school. It's really not all that bad, if you don't stress out about it so much! School is a kid's job, afterall. I liken it to my unpaid position as a mother- it's something you have to do without compensation, you learn a lot along the way, and even deeply despise it some days.

I have high hopes for my daughter, my baby girl. She is trying...very trying, as my own mother would say. I give her some space to be herself, but it's hard to give her much of a leash these days. I'm hoping that she keeps the positive attitude in the forefront in the coming days, and that she works towards doing the things she knows are right. I have faith in her! :)

Guess what?! More crappy parents are outed!

2008-08-21T02:41:00.000-05:00

Yeah, yeah, I know....I haven't blogged here in a million years. I've been doing other stuff, like starting a new business, working on my website for that (I'm no HTML wizard, you know- this takes time, patience, and Starbucks!), and contributing content to another blog, http://www.unnecessarypackaging.com/. I HAD to come over here and post this today though, and I fully intend to get back into the misadventures of The DIVA, The Big Man, and The Little Man this week!

If your kid came to you, whining about how much they hated school, and said they aspired to play video games for a living - at age 16 - would you allow them to drop out to aspire to all things gaming? These parents did.

http://videogames.yahoo.com/feature/16-year-old-quits-school-to-play-video-game/1238119

What the hell is the matter with them?! The mom says "We couldn't take the complaining anymore." Um, hellooooo?!?! YOU are the parent, HE is the child. Until he's 18 and out on his own, his complaining about not wanting to go to school should fall on deaf ears, lady! Why not foster his mastery of "Guitar Hero" (which I will admit, I play and enjoy myself) with an actual guitar and some real lessons, so that he might be able to get a real job, maybe teaching inner city kids in a music class some day?

Srsly.

I have no idea what is wrong with some people these days.

There's absolutely no excuse for this kind of crap. No one can move my position on this. Ever. School comes first, then family stuff, THEN extracurricular activities- at least that is the order in my home. I hate that our society's parental units are allowing this lax attitude to be fostered everywhere. Hey, guess he's had enough schooling, let's let him make his own decisions on the matter, eh? Matter of fact, why not let him go ahead and drink alcohol too? He can decide for himself after all- he's a big boy now!

Is a wake-up call ever going to come, or are our kids going to have to continue to suffer with mediocrity, or worse, for the rest of their days? Please notice the example this kind of crap sets, and don't let your kids stoop to this level. Sure, buy them video games and let them watch TV if you want, but don't let it get like this. THIS is crazy, and these parents are nuttier than peanut brittle for pulling this stunt.

/rant & off soapbox now!

;)

What month is it?!

2008-03-20T13:55:00.000-05:00

I haven't blogged in, like, fo-evah! (as The DIVA would say) I'd tend to agree with that.

I've been not only very busy, but also very sick. It's hard to run a household from a (month-long) sickbed. First, my husband went through it. He was gracious enough to bring this flu bug home from work with him. Thanks, Honey. At least we can't say he never gave us anything. I would rather have something more along the lines of diamonds or even chocolates, but I digress...

When a man gets sick, it is truly then end of the universe. Not life, not the world, but the universe. They can't seem to accomplish anything for themselves, including proper hydration and accurate dispensing of the medications that will bring them back to the land of the living. What is with that?! I think my grandmother is quite accurate when she says a man without a woman is only half a person. After all, half of him would be DEAD from the flu without a woman there handing him orange juice and DayQuil every 4 hours. God only knows what shape the other half would be in too. I don't want to think about it...I might relapse myself.

So, the poor soul, who really was that sick, spent 5 days laying in bed- our bed -tossing and turning, sweating and freezing, barely getting any rest through all of his fits, and as his loving wife and adopted mommy (I also think there are adoption papers somehow tied to the signatures on marriage licenses, although I can never prove it...still working on it though.), I cared for him night and day through it all. I love him to the ends of the earth, and it is a very rare occasion he gets sick, so he wasn't milking it or anything. He really was THAT SICK. I was the most concerned when he asked me to drive him to the doctor. After the smelling salts cleared away, we bundled up The Little Man and headed off to the Urgent Care Center, as the regular clinic was full up with other folks dying of the flu. The passer-on of this fabulous gift found out earlier in the day he actually had pneumonia, so we wanted to get my man checked out, in case he needed antibiotics. Luckily, he did not. He just needed to wait it out. Thanks- that will be $500, please. Ugh!

So my husband, I'm happy to report, did survive his ordeal. The day after he started feeling better, guess what happened? You betcha! It was my turn to toss and turn, and sweat and freeze, and barely get any rest, but there was one teeny little difference here: I was on my own. I still had to "go to work." There are no allotted sick days for Moms, and no matter how many times I tried to call in sick to The Little Man, he was not having it. I did too! I called from my sick bed, "Little Man! Mommy can't come hug you!" (Please, before you attack, go back to my previous post, and have some sympathy for the sick. Yes, he's still doing this. *sigh*) He wasn't answering his phone, and his machine must have been to full to take a message on this one. No one was home with us all day, so when The Big Man came home from school, I had to have him help play with his brother for a while until Dad got home. The Big Man was less than impressed, as usual, but he did help out. He breathed many a sigh of relief when he came home to a quiet, napping Little Man. Then he could play PSP in peace and quiet. Sheesh! Can't a kid play video games undisturbed these days?!

I'm finally coming out of my flu daze, nearly a month later. It's just hung on, and on, and on. Much of it has been the fact that I haven't had the luxury of laying around and resting, not having to take care of anyone else, and having someone take care of me. I didn't take good care of myself, simply because I couldn't many days. I skipped meals for days, didn't take in as many fluids as I should have, even ran out of meds one morning and was too sick to go get more. Oh well, I, too lived to tell about it! Hopefully, there's no way to transfer germs across the 'net. You most certainly DO NOT want to get what we had. (knock on wood!) The boys didn't get it, and The DIVA had a very mild case, only about 2 days and pretty light. I'd rather take care of 3 sick kids at once than be sick like this myself, and I'm sure all you moms out there can relate. I don't care to do this again, evah!

"Mommy! Hug me!"

2008-01-30T10:01:00.001-06:00

I am going crazy here.

The Little Man has developed a very sweet, yet very annoying habit. All day, and all night, he yells "Mommy! Hug me!" or "Mommy! Help me!", when he's behind the gate or not getting his way. I am going insane. I am awakened at all hours of the night to have to go and hug him. I've finally started ignoring it at these times, hoping he'll go back to sleep. This works about half the time, the other half he screeches and screams until I go in there. Of course, the rest of the house, maybe even the neighbors, have been awakened by this display of affection towards his mother. It's not a need, it's not a separation anxiety thing either. He never does it when I'm leaving (which isn't often anyway), he's not scared or afraid when I go to him. He's just using this as a manipulative tool to get some extra attention.

Ok, Moms, what would you do??? Your youngest child, who's face you absolutely melt for, wants to do nothing but hug and kiss you all the time, but you know there's an ulterior motive for it.

I'm no dummy, folks. The boy needs no help, nor does he require this extra attention. Mind you, he's got almost all of my attention, all day long, every single day. He's not wanting! I have to laugh much of the time. I have to stifle it when my husband's swearing next to me in bed at 3 AM, thoroughly not amused as "Mommy! Hug me!" cuts through the night air.

He's just jealous. ;)

MY chair!

2008-01-25T14:56:00.001-06:00

In our home, we've never really had too many issues with the word "MINE!" Even when the older kids were small, they shared pretty well. The Little Man has no problems with it at all, since he's shared his stuff with my nephew pretty much since birth. It's just the way it's been, so no biggie for him. I'm pretty happy with this harmony...saves a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, for all of us. ;)

This brings us to the only one in our home who thinks they can do whatever they please. She's commandiered everything we own, at some time or another, and she doesn't like to give it up. She's not mean and doesn't hiss, she just holds a grudge for a while afterwards, and YOU KNOW you did something to upset the balance of the universe. Shame on you!

Whilst we were cleaning The Little Man's room, I set his Spongebob chair out in the hallway for a while. This selfish lady sauntered upstairs and decided it was discarded permanently, kind of like when you leave old furniture on the curb. Sweet! So she hopped her furry buns into it and settled down for a long-winter's nap....so she thought. I went to pick the chair up again, not realizing she was in it, and it appeared a bit heavier than before. Hmmmmm. This thing's only made of foam. So I climbed over the gate to see what was the matter, and there she was, in all her splendor. Gotta love her! My favorite part of the photo is Spongebob's expression, which is in no relation to her, but fits quite nicely...."get outta The Little Man's chair, Sweet Pea!"

Throwing the baby out with the...laundry???

2008-01-25T12:51:00.000-06:00

I saw this video this morning on CNN.com, and I was horrified. Watch with care...

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/01/25/lopez.baby.tossed.with.laundry.wfaa

I was the most disturbed by Huguley Memorial Medical Center, Forth Worth, TX, stated that this lawsuit was QUOTE "not worthy of a lawsuit." Ok, hold on to your seats, everyone, because Mom is about to blow.

I'm sorry, but in what world do they live in that such little regard is held for a human being, that they should be treated much the same as trash? If this were a 5-year-old, or a 45-year-old, or a 95-year-old, would the same reasoning be applied?! I think not. I am absolutely appalled at the audacity of this so-called medical facility, that they would actually make a public statement such as this. In many states, even moving a corpse after death, unless you are a coroner or funeral home personnel, is a criminal offense. So how is it that throwing a deceased child, who didn't even get the joy of spending a single day with his mum and daddy, out with the dirty laundry, and NOT being held accountable for that OK, on any level?!

Kourtney, if you or anyone that knows you should come across this, know that I stand beside you, holding your hand. I have felt your pain, having lost 4 children of my own. I cannot, however, imagine the heartbreak of not knowing if that truly was your Jacob in the casket. I firmly believe that every baby, regardless of how tiny they were when they were lost, deserves every single bit as much respect as someone who's lived and breathed as we do today. It's not right, it's not fair, but if we fight for those who cannot fight for themselves, they will have a voice through us. I do hope you are able to get some semblance of closure through your lawsuit, by making sure safeguards are in place so no one else should have to suffer your fate. My prayers are with you and your family.

And as the World's Most Dedicated, Loving, Hurt, Sad, Angry, Determined Mom, I wish everyone else out there to know the following:

If you or anyone you know should ever suffer the horrible tragedy of miscarriage or stillbirth, you have every right do what you wish with your child's body. Treat them as you would any other family member, and call a funeral home. Let the hospital staff know, in writing, before any procedures are done if possible. The hospital MUST release the remains if your baby dies during pregnancy. Even if it's an early loss and you've had a D&C, a small, sweet box can be quite healing. Every funeral home can assist you with this, and it's usually around $50 or so. Some will even do it for free. If you choose not to take your child's remains, any loss, even up to 39w, is treated as medical waste and sent for incineration. A deplorable thought, I know, but I say this so that you may change your mind with how you handle things. Respect your child, take care of them, even though you couldn't hold them in your arms and cuddle them, do this one last thing for them. If you suffer a stillbirth, take the time to hold your child, cuddle them and kiss them. Let your family do the same, even siblings if you think they can understand what's happening. Don't let the hospital staff steamroll you in either case, for any reason. Know your legal rights, and when in doubt, make them prove it to you.

The pain of loss of a child cannot be put into words. The pain added by those who disrespect their very existence is uncalled for and just plain unimaginable. It still exists everywhere. I am embarrassed for and ashamed of Huguley Hospital, and all others just like them. Only empowering ourselves will stop this sort of abuse from happening. At our most vulnerable points in our lives as mothers, we should be treated with the utmost care, but yet the very fact that we are mothers is questioned and ripped away from us. Where is the care in that?

A swashbuckling we will go

2008-01-19T21:54:00.000-06:00

The Big Man has been into Pirates of the Caribbean for some time now. I have no issue with this, as it's all in good fun really. Plus, I think having lots of Johnny Depp around the house is always a good thing! ;) I gave him a POTC birthday party (again) this year, with all his pals at the bowling alley. He's a great bowler, so he wanted to have his party there (again) this year...more so to show off, me thinks. I don't fault him for that! LOL

I always use a little bit of creativity when it comes to the kids' birthday parties. I try to find something interesting, something no one else would have at their party, and this year, I found scratch cards on eBay. They were Jack Sparrow (*le sigh*), and if you scratched off the treasure, you won a special prize. We gave away 3 metal lunchboxes. Everyone got their regular goody bags, so no one was left out, but they all enjoyed these scratch cards too. Gotta get 'em gambling early on, I guess. They had fun, no one pouted because they didn't win, so I think it went over well. I suppose I will be asked for them again next year, so maybe I should stock up. He also had a POTC cake, which I made for him, as requested. Here's how that turned out...

I also have another POTC fan in my house too now. The Little Man wanders around saying "ARRRGH!", trying to close one eye but it ends up being both. He's getting better at it though! He has learned a number of pirate-ology too, like what certain things are for- the compass, eye patch, spyglass- and what good pirate would be without his trusty cutlass...

I've come close to actually requiring an eye patch, for medical reasons, on more than one occasion lately. His control is improving though, along with his one-eyed sneer. The Little Man is also a pro at looting, as you can clearly see from this photo. He loots everyone room, usually in search of treasure, which translates loosely to chocolate of some sort. He pulls everything out of drawers in The Big Man's room, which upsets The Big Man, but delights The Little Man. He's pretty good at cleaning up after himself, when prompted, so I don't get too worked up over the initial mess. That's more than I can say for The Big Man! The Little Man also sits in the backseat of the van when traveling, shouting various pirate phrases, which is better than some of the obscenities that come from the front seat. His shouting drowns out mine, so I don't bother him....shush, Mommy! :)

Oh, no, you don't!

2008-01-14T21:11:00.000-06:00

I caught someone trying to steal my thunder this week! Forget it, Jane. You will however get my kudos, for your amazing amount of parental fortitude in a weary teen-run world. Everyone should check this out....

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/01/09/mean.mom.ap/

I love when parents stand up and say "No" to their kids. When the rules are broken, there are consequences, even and especially in the real world! Contrary to popular belief these days, we "mean parents" are truly prepping our kids for what it's like out there. I don't think a cop's going to be so easy-going if he or she happened to stumble upon a bottle of alcohol under the passenger seat, after stopping the kid for a slight weave after midnight or a broken tail light, and finding a nervous bunch of teens in the car, possibly with something to hide and giving him or her probable cause to search it. I know his mom did the right thing in taking the car away because had a cop found it under a suspicious set of circumstances, in the real world, they'd have taken the car...and his freedom, at least for a while. Had THAT have happened, I bet Mom would have let him stew for a bit before heading down with the bail money. I would, but I'm mean like that! ;)

I hope this also gives parents everywhere a wake-up call as to what's up with who their kids are hanging out with too. AGAIN! As if some of the most recent news hasn't been enough already. I'd hope that not only will my kids use the common sense God gave them to abstain from underage drinking, but they'll also choose friends who'll do the same. If they are 19 and have friends who are 21, I'd hope they'd offer to pick them up from a bar if necessary but not to go along. I also hope they'd use that same sense to NOT have alcohol in their car- ever - no matter how old they are. That is why God invented the trunk.

"B" Celebrities

2008-01-08T12:27:00.000-06:00

I was reading today about Jessica and Jerry Seinfeld, and how they're being sued by Missy Chase Lapine, another author whose book bears the same subject Jessica decided to write about this last year....getting your kids to eat their vegetables.

Here's a thought, Jessica: Stop being so ridiculous and pretending that you own the idea of sneaking veggies into your kids food! My mom used to grate carrots and put them into the meatloaf, trying desperately to be the wiser, so that we girls would eat better. And we actually LIKED vegetables too! I remember loving them as a kids, and I love them now. I would rather have veggies than most any other food, other than fruit, so I suppose my dear old mom did something right there- and without a book too. *GASP!*

Here another thought to all you moms (and dads) out there you don't want to traumatize your kids, and feel the need to buy Ms Lapine's or (God forbid) Mrs Seinfeld's books: Start your kids on vegetables as infants and keep it going their whole lives! You are the parents- don't take "no" for an answer. I am The World's Meanest Mom and I make my kids eat vegetables...so there! Granted, I don't make them eat all different kinds of veggies, but they eat what they like. Baby carrots, fresh or steamed broccoli and cauliflower, cucumbers, asparagus, whatever they want, I get it and they eat it. I don't see the fight, or the reason to fight, I guess.

I always laugh when I see parenting magazines with their kid-friendly recipes, with cut-out shapes of animals in sandwiches and disguised foods and such. What a load of...um, fertilizer. I have too much else to do with my time, like clean up after their most recent toy tornado in the living room, than to carefully arrange a lion out of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without crusts, some raisins, and a handful of julienned carrots. I would rather spend my time preparing TWO meals, theirs and my own, so that I may sit down and have lunch with them and enjoy our time together, instead of taking a half-hour to kid myself that they won't figure out the lion's mane is really vegetables. Duh.

I, for one, will not be wasting my hard-earned money on any silly musings on how to get my kids to eat more vegetables. If I want them to eat more, I'll serve more- problem solved! I hope that this lawsuit ends in favor of Ms Lapine. Jerry Seinfeld appears to have slandered her enough for her to win, hands down. Jerry- you're not funny at all. Let's set a beautiful example for our kids of how "not" to act like grown-ups too. Even on the playground, the littlest kids can play nice and play fair.

Crappy New Year!

2008-01-01T18:10:00.001-06:00

Yes, Crappy New Year to everyone! It's a crappy day because we are on holiday, and The Little Man is coming down with something. I'm sure he picked it up at Christmas, but we'll have to wait and see what develops when we get home.

The DIVA's being her usual difficult self, and I am at the end of my rope with it. She's been fighting with her cousin since we've been here (4 days), on and off, and it's making us crazy. There's no need, she's just trying to cause a fuss and make trouble. I can see there's been no resolutions on her list. Crappy New Year.

The Big Man is busy helping Grandma with a puzzle and playing his beloved PSP much of our time here. He's had a rough few weeks as well, not doing as he's told and fighting with me about everything. Today, it's been another day of not listening. Crappy New Year.

I have resigned myself to assisting the smallest one with his illness, packing up our stuff in the van, and getting home so we can all try to relax. Maybe I'll try and recoup some of the day, so it's not a totally Crappy New Year.

Merry Christmas

2007-12-23T20:53:00.001-06:00

Ok, it's not Christmas Eve yet, but I'm wishing everyone an early Merry Christmas, as I'm sure I'll be too busy to get my blog taken care of in the next few days. May you get everything on your list!

If you aren't celebrating Christmas, Happy Whateveryoucelebrate, and enjoy your weekend!

What every young man should learn about laundry

2007-12-21T10:34:00.000-06:00

Technically, I suppose these rules apply to most anyone, husbands included. Mine has to be watched too! :)

Lesson One- The Laundry Basket

This receptacle is used for two different things: to put dirty clothing into whilst in your room, and to take clean laundry upstairs once it's been laundered in the basement (then put it away). It is NOT used to store laundry, or to keep toys in, or as a step stool (BAD idea), or to trap the cat underneath because "she likes it!"

Lesson Two- Clean Clothing vs. Dirty Clothing

If a certain person who loves you dearly washes your clothing and it makes its way to your room, please do not rudely return it to the laundry room, neatly folded, unworn, at the bottom of the dirty clothes basket. Said person who loves you dearly will not love you for this.

Lesson Three- Socks

I cannot stress this one enough! You ALWAYS turn dirty socks right side out when you put them into the dirty clothes basket, otherwise you will not get clean socks back. Dirty ones will come back. You'll turn what you *think* are clean sock right side out to fold them (or I will), and a shower of dirt and grime will fall into the clean basket. See aforementioned not-love-you-for-this comment.

Also, along the same lines, if you wear two socks, please place two dirty socks into the dirty laundry. If two socks don't go in, two socks cannot magically come out clean on the other side.

Lesson Four- Jeans

I know you love your jeans, one pair for every day of the week. My washing machine does NOT love your jeans that much, meaning it cannot handle an entire week's worth of jeans at once. You will not get a clean result, and it will take you a month of Sundays to dry them all. Unless you want to sell your PSP and all it's games on eBay to pay for a new washer and dryer, don't pull this stunt....ever.

Lesson Five- Underwear

Ok. I. Have. Had. It. What is it with the male of the species and lack of personal hygiene when it comes to underwear?! I will not cover this topic any further. I have to go buy bleach.

I'm going to stop here for now. The piles are getting so high, I can't see my screen anymore, so I'll have to do a part II on this, I think.

Who lies about their age? Not me!

2007-12-20T00:42:00.000-06:00

This week marks the first anniversary of my 29th birthday. That's not a lie. It's completely true. And next year will be the second anniversary. You got a problem with that?!

I have decided that although I'm the World's Meanest Mom, I'll spare my kids from the pain and anguish of having the World's Oldest Mom, as I'm not going to age, at least chronologically, from here on out. I will no longer be counting years that I've been on this earth, I'll be counting anniversary years, celebrating my 29th birthday. It makes sense, and I'll tell you why. When you ask a woman her age (which, by the way, you should NEVER do, under penalty of law and certain death), she will always coyly answer, "29." Well, she will if she's anything over 39 and looks a day over it, she will. I've just decided that I'll forgo the whole 30-something era and stick to the plan early on. I think my kids will thank me for it later on. Until I'm younger than they are.

My vote for World's Worst Mother...

2007-12-19T23:26:00.000-06:00

would definitely have to go to Lynn Spears. I mean, COME ON!!! What is wrong with this picture?! This whole hot mess their family exists in is the reason I remain the World's Meanest Mom. I will continue to put my own foot down to prevent this type of stuff from happening. Let's recap a bit, shall we?!

Britney. *cringes* When you utter her name, a whole bunch of negativity goes along with it these days. She's a crappy mother in her own right. She started out her career as a budding little singer on the Mickey Mouse Club, which was commendable at the time. Ok, I can deal with that. Then she went into bubblegum pop, dressed like a schoolgirl, tempting every pervert out there, at the age of 15. Um, hello? Lynn? Did you pick that out for her? Or did you just sit in your new SUV at the drive-thru at the bank, cashing all the checks, but saying it was going into a trust for when she was older to make yourself look good, so as to not be confused with Gary Coleman's parents?!

Fast forward a few years. The pop princess isn't as popular as before, so we need to whore it up a little, so someone gets an idea to strip onstage and wear a big yellow snake and barely anything else. Lynn! Paging Lynn Spears! Any mother in her right mind would have said "Hell no!", even to her adult daughter, had she have said [insert heavy Southern accent here] "Um, Momma...I'm gonna wear these 2 threads and an elastic waistband, with a few sequins sewn on it to my concert tonight. Oh, and there's gonna be a snake there I'm wearin' too. If I wear much more, my manager says I might get too hot under all those big ol' lights." [end accent]

Can't forget the quickie wedding in Vegas to that poor Louisiana boy, who probably thought she really liked him. Lynn did get involved here...after the fact, to make sure he didn't talk to anyone and that he didn't get any of Brit Brit's hard-earned cash. I do feel sorry for the guy- he didn't deserve that train wreck. Then the second wedding was just a longer disaster, and I have to feel a bit sorry for K-Fed too, although he's not much higher up on the food chain than Britney. At least he's making an attempt to parent those poor boys! Sean Preston is a week older than The Little Man, so I know how he's growing up, what stages he's (supposed to be) at, and I cry a little inside. He needs a momma who loves him, who respects him enough to be his momma first and a media whore second...or actually, not at all.

Now, we come to today's news. The good sister, Jamie Lynn, star of Nickelodeon's "Zoey 101", is preggers...by her 19yo boyfriend...whom she lives with...at the ripe old age of 16. I can't tell you ALL things I find wrong with this, or I'd be here all night. Yes, I got pregnant at 17, but I was NOT living with my adult boyfriend as a minor, who was committing statutory rape. Paging Lynn again...and the POLICE! Maybe they don't get the tabloids there in California or Louisiana, or maybe they don't have the Internet, so let's give them the benefit of the doubt here. I also was using birth control, which happened to fail. I also wasn't given all the privilege that Jamie Lynn was, and I most certainly DID NOT go to an F-ing magazine to flaunt it to the world. I am ashamed of her for doing that, not for the pregnancy itself. Who does that?! Stuff happens, and you deal with what comes, but she set herself up to fail in all of this. And so did Lynn. Nice going!
I do wish Jamie Lynn well with her new baby, and I'm glad she chose to continue her pregnancy, but this will not be an easy road for her. I hope her boyfriend does right by her and the baby, not necessarily a teenage wedding, but that he accepts his responsibility for his child and treats his baby's mother with the respect she deserves. This was a 50/50 deal here, as it always is.

My favorite part in all of this is the conversation that I'M SURE will take place at some point, if it already hasn't, and that is the one that surrounds the release of Lynn Spears's parenting book, which is slated for release on Mother's Day 2008. She seems like the kind of person who'd get all over her younger daughter for tainting her book release with her unplanned teen pregnancy, and how that would make Lynn look as a parent. Well, Lynn, you are so right. But you already looked like a rotten parent, so why should you stop now?! Go ahead and release your book. No one wants to read about how 'hard' it was to raise two has-beens, who fell out of the limelight in their prime because they chose to make awful life decisions, due to a lack of morals their parents should have taken the time to instill in them, instead of trying to push their babies into the limelight in the first place.

That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it!

What?! NO TREE???

2007-12-11T11:29:00.001-06:00

There will be no tree in our home this year. We have decided that, since we aren't celebrating any Christmases here with any gift openings, we are not going to bother dragging out the tree and all the trimmings. We'd have to go to the storage unit and find it all, then get all that stuff here, find room for the extra stuff in the basement while it's here, then pack it all up in a few weeks and take it back. Notice, when I'm saying WE, it's in bold. That would be because we actually only means my dear husband. HE doesn't want to do any of this stuff this year. I caved because I'm just too stressed to keep up the fight this year. I can barely keep up the blog these days, I'm so busy with other stuff!

Next year for sure I will have my tree. Clark better get his boots on, so he can trudge through the snow...and he better not forget his ax this time.

The obsession continues...

2007-12-11T11:10:00.000-06:00

Ok, so what? Some women relax with chocolate. Some like a glass of wine in the evening. I just happen to enjoy curling up and watching Harry Potter movies. That being openly admitted to now, today is a good day. It's December 11th...the release of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on DVD.

I preordered it, so it was quietly delivered to my doorstep my the UPS man this morning around 9:30 AM (not that I was timing it or anything). I've been waiting for months for it, after having the distinct pleasure of seeing OotP in IMAX. THAT was sweet! Now granted, the DVD will not live up to that experience, but the movie itself was very good, and I am always happy to see more of the series on screen now.

I am also not ashamed to say that, once the UPS man had rounded the corner, I was like one of my kids on Christmas morning. I tore into my package as thought it was rations and I hadn't eaten in months. It was sad, really. I couldn't get the stupid thing open fast enough to bask in the glory of my newest possession. The Precious had arrived. I popped it into the DVD player, hoping to be able to sit and watch it this morning, as all was fairly quiet. The DIVA and The Big Man were at school, and The Little Man was happily attached to his toys and his Spongebob DVD in his own room, so my chances were good, right? Wrong!

How could I be so silly as to think that I might possibly get to do something that I wanted to do?! I am now going to sulk and cut it off for now, and I will come back to it later on this afternoon, hopefully when someone is taking a nap. If all else fails, Harry and friends will have to wait until late tonight, when everyone else is asleep and I am suffering from chronic insomnia again.

Peace and Quiet....Otherwise known as "Retirement"

2007-12-01T15:02:00.000-06:00

I envy my father-in-law. Seriously, I do. He spent many years in a state job, only to be richly rewarded with a hand-signed letter of commendation for his service from the Governor, and some pension and medical care thrown in for his and my mother-in-law's enjoyment during their golden years. And that was the fun part! ;)

No, I truly envy him because he now has peace and quiet. If he wants it. His hobby is photography, so he will often steal away to photograph serene environments upstate in the woods or wherever. I need a "job" like that. In my home, there is no such thing as peace and quiet. And there never will be, the way I see it. Even if the kids are gone for an afternoon, there is still chaos, as Sweet Pea manages to stir up trouble in their absence. I think they plan it that way. I have no idea why though. I could swear they have a radar that senses a quiet moment in time approaching, then they go into attack mode to assure that moment in time is filled to the brim with excitement, whether it be positive or negative.

I'm in dire need of some peace and quiet right now. I have Christmas stuff to do. I have cards to write, gifts to figure out/buy online/wrap, cookies to bake (yes, I plan to do it this year), and possibly, maybe even get a tree up at some point. I do want some decor around here, but Dad and I are at odds about this one little detail...

The Little Man, according to Dad, will destroy a tree. I disagree. He states that The Little Man will remove everything from the tree, bit by bit. I say no, you just have to deter him from doing it. So, we are at an impasse. I think he is just avoiding the tree altogether because he promised me a REAL TREE last year. I am sick of a plastic one, don't care how much of a mess it will make, am not worried about keeping it watered or that it might catch fire. I want a real tree and I shall have a real tree. Come hell or high water, this home will have an evergreen in it. If he keeps pushing me, it will be the 5 of us, trudging around like Clark Griswold and clan in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Trust me, that will not be pretty! If I get my real tree, there can be peace and quiet across the land once more. Well, sort of- at least until I retire, when I'm dead! ;)

Thanks for giving!

2007-11-27T03:13:00.000-06:00

Ok, I made it through Thanksgiving weekend in one piece. Whew!

First, there was the holiday. We packed up the three kids and headed over to my in-laws' for the day. They cooked up a feast for us, which was wonderful (as usual). My own mother was invited to join us, and she brought pork hocks and sauerkraut, a Polish tradition and disgusting, but my mother-in-law enjoys it as well, so the two moms happily dined on it. Blech! I can eat Frank's kraut, warmed from the can, nothing else on it, but not the Polish stuff, and certainly not the German stuff. Double Blech!! The kids all ate pretty well, even The Big Man. He had chicken fingers, as he doesn't eat turkey. I don't eat turkey either, so my father-in-law made me a steak (bless him!). He always cooks up some red meat for me, even though I've told him it's not necessary. I won't die if I don't eat the turkey- there's plenty of other stuff there to eat too!

My mom brought over her holiday flyers too, and she and my sister brave Black Friday every year to get some deals. They carefully plot their attack the night before, so they can get in and out of each store with what the want and with as little hassle as possible. I refuse to go (not that crazy...yet), but I wanted to look over their plan to see if there was anything I wanted them to pick up. Found a couple of things, nothing huge this year, so I added them to their list before she headed over to my sister's for their strategic meeting. We had to head home a little earlier than we planned, as The Little Man started melting away in desperate need of a nap mid afternoon, so we all parted ways at that point. It was a very nice holiday!

The weekend brought a wedding for me to coordinate at my church. It was interesting, to say the least. The ceremony (NOT mass) was to include a reading from "The Velveteen Rabbit"...yes, that would be the children's book...so I had to type that up, as we didn't have it listed in out standard book of readings. Imagine that. They also pulled their other readings off the Internet, I believe, so our copies were not the same as what they had, so I had to retype those as well. All this extra work had to be done the night before, after the rehearsal dinner. There were a number of family members who wanted to run the show, who had very little patience with the fact that my whole job is to tell everyone where to go and when. That's what I do- I COORDINATE THINGS. We all made it through though without a scratch (ok, a few), and the bride and groom were never the wiser, which is the most important part. I've had weddings go into almost complete meltdown, so this was definitely a good weekend.

The only really bad part was that their wheat stalks they used as decor left a huge mess in the gathering area, and I had to vacuum the whole thing before I left. This was very bad because my herniated discs do not allow for this sort of activity, but I had to do it. I will be paying for this for a long time. I still very much enjoy this ministry to the church though, even with a few kinks here and there. Keeps me on my toes, physically and mentally! :)

I really am just one big heaping pile of Jello

2007-11-27T01:58:00.000-06:00

What Makes a Mother

I thought of you all, I closed my eyes and prayed to God today.

I asked what makes a Mother and I know I heard Him say,

"A Mother has a baby. This we know is true."

"But God, can you be a Mother when your baby's not with you?"

"Yes you can!", He replied, with confidence in His voice,

"I give many women babies, when they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime and others for a day.

And some I send to feel your womb but there's no need to stay."

"I just don't understand this God, I want my baby here!"

He took a breath and cleared His throat and then I saw a tear.

"I wish I could show you what your child is doing today.

If you could see your child smile with other children and say,

'We go to earth to learn our lessons of love and life and fear.

My Mommy loved me oh so much, I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me

I learned my lesson very quick, My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much, but I visit her each day.

When she goes to sleep on her pillow's where I lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear,

'Mommy don't be sad today! I'm your baby and I'm here.'

"So you see, my dear sweet one, your children are OK.

Your babies are here in my home, and this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with me until your lesson is through.

And on that day that you come home, they'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother: it's the feeling in your heart.

It's the love you had so much of, right from the very start.

Though some on earth may not realize that you are a Mother until their time is done.

They'll be up here with me one day and know you're the best one.

Written with love, for all the Mother's missing their babies, by Jennifer Wasik

I got this poem from someone a while back, when I really needed it. You see, The Diva, The Big Man, and The Little Man have 2 brothers and 2 sisters they've never met. Someday, when all is said and done, they will. We all will meet. I miss them desperately right now. This will soon pass, as it always does, but I go through periods of time when I miss my angel babies more than anything. I was deprived of being their mother and it's not fair- not to me, and not to them. It's not fair to my other kids that they missed out on having more brothers and sisters, and not fair that my husband didn't get to father them either. Life isn't fair.

My mortality is getting to me right now. I have yet to get a clean bill of health as far as this breast cancer thing is concerned. When I went to the doctor today, my mammography report said that there were some spots that were not able to be seen due to the fibrous tumors, so my OB/GYN (my lifesaver right now, both physically and emotionally) is speaking with the radiologist regarding the interpretation of his findings. It basically means, I'm not out of the woods yet. I'm doing ok I guess, but this is just irritating that I have to hurry up and wait, you know? I'm sure you've all been in a situation where you've been made to wait for results of a test and been totally stressed out about it. If it wasn't cancer-related, multiply your worry ten-fold!

I am feeling more like myself, now that my doc's had a chance to sit down with me and go over the results, and we've developed another plan from this point. We'll just take this as it comes, and she'll be there to support me. She's truly a Godsend right now! Just keep good vibes coming my way...I'll take all I can get right now. I will keep everyone posted on this matter, as well as some non-tear-inducing antics here one of these days.

The Big Man strikes back

2007-11-19T20:28:00.000-06:00

We have a bit of a penchant for the dramatics here in our home. I believe my eldest son would come out on top if we were to have a contest to see who could argue semantics the longest, but not the loudest. I won't say who'd win that one. I am shocked and amazed at how this child, this mere babe in the woods, will go to the greatest of lengths to argue his position on anything I or Dad say. He will purposely take what we say out of context, so that it fits his needs at the time. He's learned this from The DIVA, however he's chosen to perfect this art form rather than take after her in the art of lying and manipulation. What can I say? He's blazing his own trail, and so I'm proud of him for that.

Tonight, I took The Big Man to the grocery store with me. It was just the two of us, which is rare, so I expected stellar behavior honestly. There wasn't anyone to fight with, right? WRONG!! I was there, so he took full advantage. Had he have been all alone, I think he would have picked a fight with a stranger tonight. I'm waiting for the black eye when he steps off the school bus one day, but I digress...

I went up and down the aisles in the store, as I always do, with The Big Man driving the cart. He didn't even ask for a million and one things, so maybe that should have put me on guard a little. Yes, that should have been the huge, waving red flag to tell me that something was amiss. I knew he was a bit tired, but weren't we all by dinnertime? I certainly didn't expect the backlash of disrespect and uncouth behavior that was thrown my direct without warning. It started when I simply asked him not to put bananas on top of the hamburger buns. What was I thinking, bringing such a ridiculous thing to his attention?! You would have thought I stabbed him in the ear, with the pirate one-eye-closed, facial-wrenching look he gave me, as he threw the food down and refused to continue helping me bag. I asked him what the problem was, and a stream of expletives that would make said pirate blush were hurled at me in a manner that made a large number of other shoppers turn around and look at me with disgust. HEY! I didn't say it!!

If I didn't have a cart full of stuff to deal with, already paid for and waiting to go to my car, I'd have dragged him out and let him have it. When I say that, I mean, I'd have slapped his mouth, put him in the car, and hollered at him while speeding home, so that most people (other than those in cars around me at stoplights) were unable to here me while I reprimanded him for his little stunt. NO, I don't beat my kids. Yes, I probably should have been a bit more firm when they were younger and (possibly) prevented this, but hindsight is always 20/20. I have a great aunt who, before she passed on, would wallop her kids one and say "That's for nothing, now try something!" Needless to say, the preemptive crack kept them from starting their crap, in public or in private. Those were different times though.

I don't lay a hand on any of my kids often, and if I do, it's enough to say, "HEY! INAPPROPRIATE!!" Never have I even hurt them. They usually laugh in my general direction afterwards, if it's any consolation to you nay-sayers. The Big Man wasn't even mad at me really, he just had a hard day at school today and was tired, so who better to take that out on than the person who'll love you unconditionally, no matter what, right? I didn't lay a hand on him tonight though, nor did I yank him out of the store. I held myself together and packed up the groceries, loaded the van, and drove home. I let Dad take care of it! I'm a rotten mother and a terrible human being, so sue me. I'm sure everyone reading this right now has never done a single thing wrong in their lives. I'm fine with my imperfections, and I'll stick Dad with it on occasion. He deserves it sometimes...na na na boo boo!

My face, coming to an Internet near you!

2007-11-18T20:15:00.000-06:00

Everyone has heard about all of these social networking sites, so I won't start naming them all. If you haven't, you've been living under a rock, in the farthest part of Siberia, under a huge snowbank as well. Global warming is the only reason you are here reading this today.

I think these sites are great to reconnect with those people we've lost touch with after high school or college. I have a page of my own, although I'm not going to link it here, to protect the innocent. I know that my old boyfriends would be ashamed if I started dragging their names and faces through the mud (again), so I'll just keep that part of my life separate (for now). These sites are full of people looking for old pals, as well as new ones. They're also in search of love out there in cyberspace, which is all well and good too. MY problem with them comes in when parents let their young kids get a page and make it public for the whole world to see, literally. I can't comprehend this. But then again, maybe it's the meanness coming out. I think it is...here is comes...

The DIVA got caught tonight with a page on one of these sites. It was set up two days ago, unbeknownst to me or her father, and she got ratted out by The Big Man too. She was supposed to be helping with the laundry in the basement, not helping herself to the computer in my office. I wasn't standing there over her shoulder, thinking that since she's 12, she could conduct herself in an appropriate manner and I could trust her word that she was actually doing laundry down there. Silly me. I am not amused by this. I believe I used a few expletives in my tirade (ok, a lot of them), as well as the words "pervert" and"pedophile", and the phrase "what the hell were you thinking?!" a number of times (lost count at 100). My darling child used her real name, her real zip code, and used "sexxxy" to describe herself. She has "friends" whose photos show them half-naked. WTF?!?! Sorry...I'm really overemotional right now. I made the assumption that I was bringing up my kids properly, that they knew the difference between right and wrong. I have been over personal and Internet safety with both of the older ones, as have their schools, so I'm really confused as to how this page came to be. Needless to say, the page no longer exists.

I am the World's Meanest Mom and will not allow my children online like this! These sites are NOT designed for children, and when I say "children", I mean anyone under 18. Some of the content on there is not meant for kids, although the sites claim to be keeping it clean and have ways to report inappropriate content. If you have allowed your child to have a page like this, think about why you've allowed it. Is it to contact friends they already have? If so, isn't that what school or the phone is for?! Most, if not all, of them are using these pages to contact new friends, of various ages, with various types of photos on their own pages, and if you are not watching them closely, you could have a very serious problem on your hands. The DIVA tells me about how her friend was contacted by a boy who said he was 14 but really was 31. NICE! My sister-in-law has mentioned my niece being online as well, and I have warned her about this same stuff. The Internet is a scary place, and if you think it won't happen to you, think again. The guy around the corner from us is a convicted pedophile...our homeowners association is in litigation to have him evicted for conducting illegal activities in the neighborhood, since he surfed the stuff at home too. Sicko.

If you are letting your kids online, use IMSafer to try and monitor what's happening with their IM's and chat logs. Go to http://www.imsafer.com/ to download your FREE copy. It will help you keep track of what your kids are saying online, if they're trying to arrange meeting, if they're talking to people older than they should be, so USE IT. Keep your kids safe however you can.

Don't make me have to come over there!

My Prison Name

2007-11-17T20:20:00.000-06:00

My WHAT?!

Yes, my Prison Name! I was just as stunned as you when I was reading this in a post on http://www.cafemom.com/, but I thought, what the hey? I'll try it out.

My prison name is

The Polish Assassin!

This is absolutely hilarious to me, and upon finding out my new name, I was laughing hysterically (which, if you read my previous post, I desperately needed). My husband was getting on me about it because The Little Man had just gone to bed, and apparently my high-pitched cackling was going to keep him awake. Yeah, right. This is the child who will fight sleep until the wee hours of the morning, well past the time when his father has been peacefully snoring and keeping the NEIGHBORS in the next zip code awake. But God forbid I laugh. Now why was I laughing like a maniac? Because I'm actually Polish. What are the odds?! Granted, I'm not an actual assassin, but I have felt like killing some people in the last 48 hours here. I think it's funny and if you can't give me that, well...I have a few choice words I won't say right now, let's put it that way. Maybe I should start embroidering The Polish Assassin on my undies for when I go into the Big House after the meanness gets the best of me. MWUAHAHAHAHA! If you want to find out what your name would be, please visit http://www.quizpox.com/quiz.php?id=9 and let me know to whom I should address your Christmas card.

I'm passing the crown

2007-11-16T13:50:00.000-06:00

No, not THAT crown, silly! The other crown I wear...the one that says I have to be the strong one who fixes everything. The one that says I have to be the one who makes everything ok and smooths it all over. I've decided to pass that one off, so if you want it, it's yours. I have recently had a health scare, and I'm not afraid to talk about it. If fact, it really helps to do so, as I've had a head full of worry and need to get it out before it pops clean off!

Last week, I had a post-op appointment with my OB/GYN, after my Novasure procedure. For those of you who've never heard of it, Novasure is a new, faster way to perform an endometrial ablation. You can read more about it at http://www.novasure.com/, if you have "female problems" to address. Anyway, the procedure went great- no more periods for me, evah! WOO HOO!!! So, this is all going great, when we get to the part where I have to have my annual breast exam. We didn't get a chance to do it at my last visit a month prior, as it was a hectic one. My doctor, whom I'd also consider a friend, asked me if I'd noticed any changes at all, so I told her about the pain I'd been having on the right side, that had been present for at least a year. I'd also noticed some small bumps in both breasts that had been present since nursing my Little Man, who's 2 now, so again, more than a year on those too. I just attributed all of this to changes that occurred when my breasts changed from hormones during pregnancy and nursing...no biggie, right?

WRONG!

I got the distinct pleasure of being frightened out of my wits now. My doctor scheduled me for a diagnostic mammogram at The Breast Center, which I thought maybe I'd be able to avoid for a few more years. There's a strong history of breast and gynecological cancer in my family, so I knew I'd have to be diligent in the coming years, just not this soon. The earliest they could see me over there was a week later, so I get to spend this week waiting impatiently to find out what the hell is going on here. It was not the most pleasant of weeks, let me tell you.

I spent my time trying to immerse myself in my work. Were I not a Family Traditions Consultant, this wouldn't be so hard! My work consists of talking to people about how to start new traditions with their families, and how to instill values in their children. I also teach them how to leave their legacy for the generations to come. I show them how to create albums of their family's memories, photos, stories, whatever they want to preserve for their children and grandchildren. You can see how this could be paining for someone who could be facing the Big C here! I tried really hard to stay away from that, but it didn't work, so I faced it head-on. I decided exactly how things would go if I ended up having breast cancer, so here is the plan...

If I have cancer, The DIVA, The Big Man, and The Little Man will NOT be informed of my condition. They seen their mother sick enough, and they don't need to worry. I go to doctor's appointments all the time, with physical therapy and such, so they are used to me doing that and will think nothing of regular appointments with oncology. I see no reason to further disrupt their lives when I'm sure I'll be at a stage where we can beat this. If it's determined I have to go through chemo, I will then have a Head-Shaving Party with my closest family and friends. We'll send the kids to stay with Grandma and Grandpa or Grandmama, so they don't ask questions. I plan to have these folks help cut my hair, then I'll send it off to have it made into a wig for myself. This will further conceal my condition. I also don't wish to have clumps of it falling out all over the place! I know that this may seem rash to some, but this is the way I want it. If I have some control, I will feel better about this...I don't care how others feel, it's about how I feel.

So, fast forward the week to November 15...My husband and I arrive at The Breast Center. He has to stay in the waiting room, which bothers me, but I understand, as it's an X-ray after all. I get prepared, and the technologist and I talk about how to proceed. She says she thinks, due to my age and the density of my breasts, we should do the ultrasound first because the mammogram probably won't show them what they need to see anyway. I say whatever, she's the boss, since I've never done this before. She talks to the radiologist, who says we should shoot a few pics, to have a baseline, since that's what my doctor ordered, and then we'll do the ultrasound after that. Ok, let's get this over with! We do two top shots and two side shots. The technologist tells me to wait right here, we'll do the ultrasound in a few minutes, and she goes to show the shots to the radiologist. In what seemed like 10 seconds, she comes back in and tells me everything's clear and I can go home. I was both surprised and baffled, since that was A) not the original plan, and B) not sure what "clear" meant, so I started asking questions. She wasn't willing to answer any of them and kept referring me back to my regular doctor. I asked about what was found- was it cysts? was it 'masses'? what are we looking at here? She said "Everything needs to be followed up in clinic now." When I left my doctor's office the week prior, she had told me that The Breast Center would handle everything from that point on, so now I was TOTALLY CONFUSED...AND HURT...AND SCARED EVEN MORE!

So I left. I got myself dressed, walked out to the waiting room, and got my husband, who was surprised to see me. He was expecting to come back and join me for the ultrasound because they had come out there and told him that prior to my appearance! He was just as confused as I was, sans the hurt and scared part, at this point. I was on the phone with my doctor's office before I hit the parking ramp. I finally get a call returned, from one of the triage nurses, who is just as vague on the results, if not more so. If I could have strangled someone at this point, I think I would have. A person's health in relation to a possible cancer diagnosis is nothing to screw around with, people! My doc was out of the office, otherwise I would have spoken with her directly. I now have an appointment with her on 11/26 to get my official results, as well as a plan of action from here. I'm hurt, angry, disgusted, scared, worried, stressed frustrated, just about every single emotion one can have, all rolled into one right now. The waiting game continues.

My gut tells me that I will be ok. My brain tells me that something is brewing, and I need to cover all my bases, just to be sure. The woman on Good Morning America (her name escapes me right now) had her mammogram, but they missed her cancer. Had she not have had the ultrasound, they never would have found it. I'm worried that I'll be in that category, especially since my family history is very strong AND nothing every seems to go right for me medically. I have to try and relax and make it through the holiday with a smile on my face, but I'm melting emotionally inside. I am a stoic women, and I don't normally let this sort of thing affect me like this, but this time is very different for me. I can't say "I'll be ok, I'll make it through" with complete certainty this time around. Let someone else stand up and wear the "Big Girl" crown right now.

Pray for me, send good vibes, whatever it is you do...I'd appreciate it. My kids, if they knew, would appreciate it too.

Woo Hoo!...I can dream, can't I?

2007-11-15T01:48:00.000-06:00

Does the sight of these men interest you?

What about this one?

Ok, last chance here. ANYTHING?!

Fine, I will admit it to the world. I have a "thing" for Harry Potter. The series, not the boy...although Daniel Radcliffe is a fine actor in every sense of the word. ;) I was happy to hear that he will be reprising his role in Equus on Broadway here in the US in the fall of 2008. I just might have to find a ticket to New York. Would that be an odd thing...?

Anyway, back on topic! The point of my post is to say that I don't know that I can continue to wait any longer for the next Harry Potter movie, The Order of the Phoenix, to come out on DVD. It's only a few more weeks, but it seems like forever. I think I hate the wait more than my kids, which is both hilarious and frightening at the same time. I scare myself and others at times- he he!

I have a friend (who just might read this!) who happens to live outside and work in London. I have to say, I have given him quite the row on a few occasions, due to the fact that he has yet to pick up a Harry Potter book or see a movie. I think this is blasphemy in the HP world! I think he'd love the read, quite honestly, even thought he's very classically trained when it comes to literature. I find the books to be very engaging for the imagination, and one can immerse themselves in the wizarding world, which can be done nowhere else (other than the movies). Sir J, if you are reading this tonight, I implore you, please pick up The Philosopher's Stone! If you don't, I'm going to spend the money and mail it to you for Christmas, whether you like it or not. HRRMPH! *slams door* ;)

The mean-meanie-est part of being a mom in regards to Harry Potter is that I get to hog the DVD until I've watched it myself. MWUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I don't hand it over, nor do I watch it with the kids, until I've had a chance to lie in bed and relax and view it alone at least once. I take to my bed with MY DVD...so what?! They get over it. I usually fall asleep watching the older movies on a regular basis. I find them very relaxing, but I don't really know why. Maybe it's because they have a certain darkness to them. Maybe it's because my husband doesn't bother me when I watch them, as he'd rather watch football or reruns of something else. Maybe it's that Harry Potter is my personal escape from the real world, when everything else is so friggin' crazy around here, and I don't have to think at all about it. I'm entitled to one vice, and if this is the only one I have, since I don't drink heavily or smoke or chase men, I think I'm doing ok. Well, maybe I might chase these men...if I were single. ;)

Dr Mom

2007-11-11T19:03:00.000-06:00

On the battlefield, gaping wounds were dressed with whatever was available at the time. Luckily, this happened in my kitchen, where the first aid kit was readily available. If all else failed, I did have needle and thread available too. It almost came to that...

I was trying to get some much-needed rest. The DIVA has been begging for more responsibility around here, so I gave it to her. She and The Big Man were to keep an eye on The Little Man while I went to lay down for a bit, since I hadn't slept in days (for various reasons), and The DIVA was also allowed to make cookies with the new cookie dough we got from her chorus fundraiser. She was thrilled! I think this was more about the cookies though than the watching-your-brother part, as the melee ensued as soon as I was out of earshot (or so they thought).

I just let them squabble out the simple stuff- what to watch on tv, who was going to play what with The Little Man, where his cup was, blah, blah, blah. I didn't move. It wasn't going to draw any blood, right? Well, apparently not in this case. All of a sudden, The Little Man starts to shriek a shriek of pain, not the usual "I'm not getting my way" shriek. The DIVA yells at The Big Man to quit hitting The Little Man, who then shouts back that he never touched him and that The Little Man is bleeding. The DIVA comes out to the living room from the kitchen to inspect the damage, then freaks out and hollers up to me, "MOM! THE LITTLE MAN'S BLEEDING REALLY BAD! YOU GOTTA COME DOWN, QUICK!"

I believe I flew down the stairs, as I don't recall my feet actually hitting the floor. As I catapult over the baby gate at the bottom, I see my youngest son covered- yes, COVERED- in his own blood, with a pool of it on the hardwood floor at his feet, standing there screaming. The DIVA is holding his hands, which somewhere hold the source of the gushing, as she continues to freak out. The Big Man has locked himself in the powder room, scared to death from all the blood. I don't blame him at this point. I try to calm everyone (including myself!) and take my baby's hands to try and see where the blood is coming from, and it appears to be the pointer on his right hand. I inspect further, and I see a very deep gash, caused by God-knows-what. I am livid but have no time to deal with that right now. There are more pressing matters.

I scoop up the baby and head to the powder room, leaving a trail of tears and blood, and I shoo my eldest son out so I may prepare for surgery, STAT. I get the first aid kit, but there's nothing to use for a tourniquet, so I just grab a wad of Kleenex, hold it on there, and try to elevate his hand. He's slowly fading in my arms, part from blood loss and part from crying and being scared, so he just lays on my shoulder and cries while I continue treatment. I had him sitting on the counter at this point, so I could use both hands to fix him and cuddle him at the same time. I got out the gauze, stretchy bandages, and antibacterial cream, and I settled in to work. I removed the Kleenex, and we had a pumper! I got worried at this point, so I called the nurse line, as of course, this was a Saturday. She said as long as it quits within a half hour, we should be ok. I then fashioned him a gauze & stretchy bandage finger cover, tight enough to stop the bleeding right around a half hour later....when he was sleeping on my bed, watching Toy Story (yes, Toy Story- don't ask).

Oh, I forgot! It might interest you to know how my precious little friend received this awful war wound. Whilst his loving sister and brother were in the middle of their "you do it, I'm not going to watch him!" argument, The Little Man had gone over to meddle in the recyclables bag, which hangs on the door leading to the garage. In it, he found an opened can of corn- you know, the kind where the lid hadn't been opened all the way, and was attached by just a little edge? Well, he decided it needed to come out, so he reached in and pulled on it, on the jagged edge, and voila! Instant amputation!! I seriously thought the boy would have to have stitches on this, but judging from this photo, he seemed to have made it through just fine. (Note the fabulous McNamara/Troy repair job I've done to his finger here- I'll post an 'after' in a week or two...please feel free to email for appointments.)

As for The DIVA and The Big Man...they didn't get yelled at for this at all. The sight of all the blood, helping me patch up their brother by handing me supplies, The DIVA helping clean things up, all were punishment enough for them. They were scared out of their minds, and both were more sincerely apologetic than they had ever been before in their lives. I didn't feel the need to have a freak-out session on them at all. To tell you the truth, I felt sorry for them after all was said and done. I hugged them both and simply said, "It's ok. The Little Man will be ok. If you apologize to anyone, apologize to him." And they did. Both of them kissed his little baby finger, and it was very sweet. I am quite sure they learned their lesson about listening, about helping out, and about the fact that their little brother will be ten steps ahead of them if they're not watching very closely!

Get out your checkbooks for this Picasso, folks!

2007-11-05T23:30:00.000-06:00

This is what happens when you look away for only a few moments...

My precious Little Man was seated on my bed, literally on my feet, as we watched the Backyardigans this afternoon. He was quietly sitting there, just looking at the TV, or so I thought. I popped up to go to the bathroom, and when I came out, I discovered why he was so quiet. The whole time he was sitting there, HE WAS DRAWING ALL OVER HIMSELF...WITH A PURPLE SHARPIE!!!

Now this Sharpie had been missing for a few days, since Friday night, when I guess it got caught up in my blankets somewhere. Yes, The Little Man had found it, and under the guise of cooperation and silent television viewing, he was creating a permanent masterpiece on his skin. Well, I must admit, I AM a lover of tattoos and body art, but certainly not in this fashion. This is my fault because I didn't search harder for the pen, but I had honestly forgotten then it was even in the bed by then. Believe me, I clear it all out when he comes in here, as he is a Curious George in here. We have a Sleep Number Bed, so he uses the controls to blow the bed chambers up and then release the air. He uses the remotes for the TV, DVD player, and the ceiling fan to his delight until I wrestle them away, if I haven't hidden them before he comes in here. I know enough to toddler-proof as much as possible, even for a movie or nap time in here. I failed miserably today.

* SIGHS *

"Little Man! What are you doing?!" I said to him. He looks directly at me and says, "I color!" and holds the pen out to me. I took it from him and shook my head...what else could I do? What's done is done at this point! I just laughed at him and took the picture you see here. He was happy to pose for photos, as usual, so I took a few before we tried to clean him up. I wasn't sure where to start since this was permanent ink. I decided on baby wipes because they have a bit of alcohol in them, but they won't be too hard on his baby skin. After a dozen wipes and scrubbing for 20 minutes, the drawings are faded but still there. They will fade in a week or so, I'm sure. I'm not too worried. He's not the first child I have to color on themselves with permanent ink, although the unnamed party was definitely NOT a toddler at the time. (If you are reading this, you know who you are, and it did go away eventually!)

Maybe The Little Man has a wonderful art career ahead of him. He does love to paint and color, on everything. He's done my walls, floors, kitchen table, bathtub, couch, front window, coloring books, and now, himself. He's a multimedia artist! I should get him an agent before he turns 3 and he's past his prime.

A haunting good time

2007-11-01T22:15:00.000-05:00

The boys had a good time trick-or-treating last night. Their candy haul was substantial as well, same as every year. We buy a bunch, we take a bunch in, so we're even. I don't know why we don't just buy whatever candy we want, save the money we'd spend on costumes, and put it towards our dental bill (both the two older ones have 2 cavities a piece...and I have a crown that needs replacing). I think it probably has a lot to do with the fact that my little friends enjoy themselves immensely!

Here is our Big Man as King Tut. Earlier this year, he had to do a school report on a historical figure, so I made him this costume for it. He has worn it a number of times, so it's seen better days, but he's proud of it nonetheless. Sewing the pleats in was, um, fun. It was too cold here in October to go without clothing underneath, hence the jeans and t-shirt. Can't miss the Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat-ish Pharaoh headpiece either, which he picked out at the costume shop. A little gold never hurt anyone, and a poseable snake is a must-have for this season! He headed out with a pillowcase, like he does every year, and it was about half full upon his return. If you were wondering, that's around 2 gallon bags stuffed full of candy. He was proud of the fact that a bunch of our neighbors told him what a great costume it was because it was so different than the average pirate or princess. I'm glad they did that- it really made him feel good about himself!

Here is our Little Man, sporting a very stylish Pablo costume, from the Backyardigans on Nickelodeon. We were at Target, looking for costumes, when we came across this one. It was apparent from his reaction that we were unable to leave the store without it, so I shelled out the $25 for it so as to not disappoint him. Didn't want to be mean after all! On Halloween night, he fought and kicked and screamed, refusing to put this wonderful piece of polyester on until he had candy in not one, but both hands. He then happily lay there on the floor while Dad snapped and Velcro'd him into it. BTW, I do have to say thanks to the manufacturer of this costume, as they used Mommy common sense with their design of this. It snaps completely up the front and in the entire leg and crotch area, and the belly area is one large flap that just Velcros over the front to cover the snapped area. Way to go! As any parent knows, as soon as you get the littlest ones into a costume, the diaper must be changed or a potty break must be taken, causing a huge production. Thanks for taking this stresser out of this for us this year!

Now hear comes the mean part...

The DIVA was unable to trick-or-treat this year, due to some recent "issues", some of which you might have read about in previous posts! I am standing my ground with her, and I will not allow her privileges if she cannot and will not tow the line around here. She was most disappointed when she started calling me names and had her candy distribution privileges revoked as well. THAT sent her over the edge and she was REALLY mad then. I heard a few more expletives and dodged a few things she threw at me. I wasn't surprised because she has yet to take responsibility for her own actions for these things, but it still bothers me that even when she's in trouble, she continues to dig the hole deeper. We're working on that.

I'm hoping that showing her perseverance in my not backing down will prove that I won't let her get away with this stuff. I think that she gets it, but I know that she's still fighting for control. What she fails to see is that I look at it this way: right now, she's on the road to her future, but she's still in driver's ed. Mom is still there with her foot on the teacher's brake on the passenger's side, to quash the bad judgement when necessary. Someday soon, I won't be there to do that, and she'll be on here own. Sometimes, she'll even wish she were riding in the backseat...I know I do!

All in all, Halloween was fun for everyone. The Big Man even offered to share his candy with The DIVA, which I thought was very nice of him. Strangely nice, as a matter of fact. I'll be keeping an eye on those two- something might be afoot. *raises one eyebrow, deep in thought*

Who cares?

2007-10-30T13:58:00.000-05:00

No one. Why? Mom's sick today.

I spent last evening tossing up my shoes, and that feeling has carried over into today, so I'm feeling extra pleasant. I shouldn't say NO ONE cares, as my dear husband came home from work today to help out with The Little Man, and I thank him for that more than he'll ever know. I hate being sick. The kids seem to have a switch that flips when Mom is sick or tired or hurting in some way, and it makes them act like they were raised like wolves in the deep wilderness. If only they could forage for dinner as if they were!

Like every other mom out there, I still have tasks to complete whilst I am ill. I have my job to do as a mom and as a family traditions consultant, so I have just modified it to fit my needs right now. There are things that can wait- like that planned trip to Home Depot to purchase paint for the living room- and there are things that I can pass off to Dad- the trip to Wal-Mart for prescriptions and new pants for The Little Man- and there are some that I will do anyway- like the online work I have to do for my business. I can do that in spurts, as I need to rest and try to recoup, so that's how it will be done today.

My grandmother (who's been gone for many years- God rest her soul), used to say, in reference to pain or illness..."That's the meanness coming out!" I must really be living up to my title today. Blech! I promise I'll be more interesting tomorrow...I'm too busy being "mean" today.

Who wants to clean the bathroom? I do, I do!

2007-10-27T12:09:00.000-05:00

WHAT?! Are you trying to say there isn't a line of people out my front door, clamoring to wipe up urine misses and soap scum from a variety of hard surfaces?

*sighs*

Well, I suppose that leaves me to do it today. I am having an overnight guest, and I'm sure she wants neither to have to look at the toothpaste in the sink or to have to clean it out herself. I love my cousin...she's a lot of fun! She's coming over to sit with The Little Man tonight, while Dad and I go out for dinner. Yes, you read that correctly! An adult meal, with adult conversation. One where all the food will be served to me, where everything on my plate will be my own and not scraped from someone else's because they didn't like it or were full, and it will be HOT. (It better be hot, or I'm sending it back to someone else's kitchen for them to deal with.)

So, my bathroom dilemma sits before me, leering at me with disgust. Now I can clean a bathroom in 10 minutes because I spent some time as a "room attendant" (AKA "housekeeper") at the Budgetel Inn whilst I was a wee girl of 15. Back then, I could do an entire guest room, bath and all, in less than 15 minutes if I wanted too. Don't tell anyone around here that, or else they might expect that kind of service today. Should it slip at any point, they can certainly start paying me $130 a night, and we'll talk. It's not a matter of CAN I do it, it's do I WANT to do it. The answer to that is "NO." I never want to clean a bathroom, especially one that's used primarily by The Big Man and The DIVA, who don't have a care in the world in regards to the condition it's left in when they exit it. Ewww.

I think I will now pass this lovely task on to my eldest son, since he seems to have the biggest problems in there, along with the worst aim. He also has the least amount of chores around here right now, so it's only fair, if we have to talk in those terms. I can't wait to have this little discussion, as I can hear the protests now...

"Why doesn't The DIVA have to do it? She uses it too/is bigger/has more stuff in there than me/makes more mess /spends more time in there!"

"I don't know how to put up towels/clean the tub/sink/toilet!"

"I don't have time to do that with all the other chores I have!" (which currently consist of helping take out garbage and recyclables, changing the cat's water, keeping his own room clean, and helping with laundry)

I'm sure you can see how hard I work him, and how this additional chore could send him over the edge. *feigns a swoon (sort of)* What type of mom would ask their poor child to help out with such a demeaning task, when she's perfectly capable of doing it herself? The kind that has 2 other bathrooms to take care of in the house, along with all those other pesky rooms, and the kind that has repeatedly requested assistance in maintaining some sanity within this particular bathroom in regards to its upkeep, to no avail. This would be the reason why you should do what your mother asks. Something very bad may happen otherwise...you might be stuck cleaning the bathroom! Since he's not here today, I guess I'll do it one last time.

You are getting sleepy, very sleepy

2007-10-26T18:33:00.000-05:00

Hypnotism isn't working. The only one getting sleepy around here is me. And I was certainly sleepy before I started watching that stupid medallion!

The Little Man is having a rough go of it lately. He just refuses to deal with this whole sleeping thing. I mean, who are WE to tell him he must take a nap or settle in for the night, anyway? How rude! Even if he'd just lay down and relax for an hour or so in the afternoon, I'd be happy with that at this point. By the time dinner rolls around, he's nearly falling over, he's so exhausted. I don't think I even have to go into how he's a bit on the impossible side emotionally. Like tonight, he kept throwing himself into my lap while I sat on the couch, waiting for dinner to cook. He kept asking for his pillow and covers, which were upstairs in his bed (of course). He's never done that before, but even to the casual observer, he'd had it for the day. We managed to get him to eat dinner, between my plate and Dad's, and after Dad headed out to bowling, The Little Man was falling apart at the seams again. So up the stairs we go, before 7:00, into bed because he's so tired he can barely stand. Within a matter of minutes, he's out like a light.

He doesn't sleep through the night once he's down though. He wakes up a million times, sometimes staying up from 1 AM on! I don't know how he does it. When I miss sleep, I am waiting desperately until I have time to take a nap, then I crash. The Little Man, on the other hand, will do anything possible NOT to sleep. Dad and I keep talking about how we're going to extract that energy and bottle it, then sell it on the Internet to cover our cushy retirement days. Please feel free to leave your name and number so we can contact you once we've perfected the process. I'm expecting that to happen any day now, somewhere between the fighting over naps and blogging until midnight.

I'm no stranger to the "getting the kids to sleep" game. I've tried everything I know and everything our pediatrician and Nurse Ratchet know too. I have come to see that this is just a phase The Little Man must go through, and one I must also endure until he's ready to give up the fight. This is SO unfair to me right now...I might have to pass the meanness torch on sooner than I thought. This is downright cruel, people!

My night watch has turned into insomnia of sorts, as I feel like, if I try to sleep, he'll immediately wake me up. I'm finding myself staying awake until he gets up (usually between 2 and 3 AM), then going to try and get him back down again. I find the Nukkie that's been whipped against the back of the bedroom door- a "Hello?! I'm awake!" of sorts. I change his diaper, in the dark, if he needs it. I get his pillow back in there, as he's thrown it out in protest of sleeping. I'll turn some Wiggles on quietly for him. I'll even take him downstairs, still in the dark, to the rocking chair and rock him. None of this seems to work sometimes.

At the very last resort, at 5 AM, when I've had not a wink of sleep in the past 22 hrs, I'll take him into my bed when I can then begin a silent argument with Dad, who'll toss and turn specifically in protest of our little visitor. I HAVE to get some semblance of sleep, whereas Dad has peacefully slept through much of this dance we do. It really is ok...he has to get up and go to work the next day, and I can at least be at home. However, too many days of not sleeping turns me into a very unpleasant person, so on Sundays, Dad gets to be in charge and it's my day to attempt to catch up on some of that.

Damn. It's only Friday.

PSP stands for...

2007-10-24T23:07:00.000-05:00

In most households, it stands for Playstation Portable, either because your kids have one or because they really want one. I mean, who doesn't want to take their incredibly addictive video gaming system with them wherever they go, right?

In MY house, PSP stand for Pretty Severe Punishment, which has been earned by the Really Big Man of the House. That is because my dearest husband, whom I love with ever fiber of my being, went behind my back and bought one of these stupid things for The Big Man. Ok, let me breathe and regroup while I explain things. I do understand his reasoning for wanting to buy it for him…The Big Man completed his study, which took 6 months, and it was hard for him to stick to it, but he did. Dad didn’t buy it for him outright either. The Big Man earned $100 in gift cards from Target for his participation in the study, so he traded those in to Dad to pay for half of the PSP, instead of using them to buy new games for the Xbox or his Gameboy.

So, I suppose I shouldn’t be so hard on Dad for doing what he did, huh? He did a good thing in both senses- he rewarded The Big Man for a job well done, and he also took the opportunity to give a lesson in economics. I’m not mad at him for this, not at all. I just freaked when I saw the bill for all this lovely electronic equipment. It ain’t cheap. I wasn’t expecting the two to leave on Sunday morning and come home 2 hours later, after going to breakfast and…

oh, by the way, we stopped at Best Buy and spent $300.

You did WHAT?!?! Ok, see why I still needed that breather two paragraphs ago?

The Big Man, on the other hand, loves his PSP. He is, as I suspected, completely addicted to it, and it‘s only been a few days. I expected this, so I’m not going to fight it. The rules are as follows: he may not play it until his homework and chores are done, he may not play it unless he asks permission, and he may not play it if he has misbehaved or been disrespectful. I think those are all fair. We keep it in our room, as he has a tendency to play it into the wee hours of the morning if we allow him to have it in his own room. That makes for a very pleasant child the next day! And even sometimes the day after, if we’re really lucky. Star Wars is the center of his universe right now, and I don’t fight that either. Dad loved it when he was a kid too, so they bond over that, and I smile whenever they go on and on about whatever all that stuff is. It’s all Greek to me!

When The Big Man came rushing into my room tonight to get his PSP, he said, “Mom! Dad said I can play for 45 minutes until it’s time to go to bed, ok?” The kids had just come home from Catechism class. I’m sure he prayed he could play it when he got home, and God must have been listening. “Ok,” I said, “but you’ll have to play downstairs because The Little Man is in bed already.” They share a room. “Ok, Mom. Thanks!” He ran out like a madman, PSP in hand. I just shook my head and went back to work on my laptop. I’d never deprive him of such joy, and I really am glad my husband got it for him. I’ll just close my eyes when the credit card bill comes.

The horror of it all!

2007-10-22T22:50:00.000-05:00

I am quite ashamed of myself tonight. I spent an entire day without raising my voice, reprimanding my children, or doling out any punishments whatsoever. How can the World's Meanest Mom continue to reign supreme with this kind of behavior on her record?!

On the other hand, it was one of the nicest days I can recall in recent weeks. Someone should record this for posterity. Everyone got along. No one refused to eat their dinner or threw food at the table. Everyone went to bed when asked. Each one of my children behaved impeccably!

The DIVA didn't try to pull any crap and didn't lie once. There were no odd phone calls or fights over clothing or homework.

Hallelujah!

The Big Man came home from school, went to his dentist appointment and his final chocolate milk study appointment with Dad, and I never heard a harsh word. He even asked nicely to play his new PSP, and said "Thank you" when given permission.

It's a miracle!

The Little Man ate 3 meals- breakfast, lunch, AND dinner- without bribery, dancing (mine), or begging (also mine). He actually took a 2-hour nap this afternoon for the first time in more than a month.

Am I in the right house?!

I guess I'm just so used to the chaos that when there's a day of virtual silence, I don't know what to do with myself. I chalk it up to the fact that everyone was separated much of the day. The kids go to separate schools and arrive home at different times on Mondays. The Big Man had appointments this afternoon, so he was gone, and The DIVA was here without him to fight with. She also didn't have to play with The Little Man either because he was napping much of the time. When we all came together, the switch was made, and The DIVA went with DAD for the evening to the bowling alley. The boys stayed home with me, and they got along fine. They had McDonald's for dinner, and who doesn't like that, right?! (I don't, but I suck it up for the rest of the troops.) Bedtime came, and there was still no bloodshed. I am hoping (read: praying) for a repeat tomorrow.

I am now quietly settling in for the night, having low blood pressure and not being on the verge of an aneurysm tonight. It's kinda nice! I know that this kind of day is few and far between, but I am shooting for more of them. The kids just get themselves so riled up, whether it's something that carries over from school, or their awful Mean Mom here at home forcing slave labor on them (homework, cleaning their rooms, or maybe setting the table for dinner?), they just blow a gasket and go haywire every day. I wish I could foresee the meltdown, but it seems to happen before I can head it off. I try to be as observant as I can, in the hopes that I can pick up on it beforehand, but so far I haven't had any luck. I'll keep trying though, either out of perseverance or sheer madness!

Goodnight, all! I'm headed off to cuddle into my Sleep Number Bed. BTW, I'm a 35.

It's 5:00 Somewhere

2007-10-21T20:11:00.000-05:00

The phone rings this evening. On the other end, a small, cracking voice says (after a bit of hesitation) "Is The DIVA there?" I was forced to tell him she was indisposed at the moment, as she was in the shower at the time. "May I take a message for her?", I politely asked him. He hesitated again, then said, "Yeah, this is Ryan. Just tell her that 5:00 is just fine." I paused a moment myself, then answered back, "Ok, I will let her know as soon as she gets out." We both said our goodbye's and hung up.

Attack mode sprung up immediately. I have a serious issue with her planning things behind my back, especially when young men are involved. I tried my very best to be civil, as I didn't want to make a screaming "You are not going to be a pregnant 13-year-old!" scene. I have known for a while that she'd been hiding a boyfriend. I even knew his name was Ryan, where they met and who his family was. Being the "cool" mom, I didn't interfere because I didn't feel that I needed to. The DIVA isn't permitted to do many things her friends can do, such as hang out at the mall with her friends or go out anywhere after dark without an adult. I'm the World's Meanest Mom, remember? I didn't get this title by allowing her to run amok. I have given her just enough leash for me to know what she's up to, and I've been able to trust the judgement that she's shown so far. I do firmly believe in the "give them an inch, they'll take a mile" phrase, so I have paid attention to what she does with the inches allowed her, and I dole out more as I see fit. Ryan has now become a new test for us both.

After The DIVA completed her spa treatments, I told her we needed a few words with her. Dad just sat there next to me, as I'd filled him in on the phone call earlier so we were on the same page. He clearly wanted no part in this, and if he'd have had one, he'd have put on his combat helmet.

I take a deep breath and say to my only daughter, "So, where are you supposed to be at 5:00?" She got a blank stare on her face- the same one she gets when she's about to come up with an elaborate lie. I said, "Don't bother, just answer the question."

"At Park Towne," which is the bowling alley. She has plans to go there with The Big Man and their grandmother for an outing next weekend, NOT with her boyfriend. These plans were made months ago, when Grandma asked the two older kids to go to the Halloween bowling party, then to spend the night with her and Grandpa...she is a brave soul, and I wish her luck.

"Then why did Ryan call here, saying that '5:00 would be just fine'?" I can feel my blood boiling, but at least she's attempting to stick more towards the truth side.

"I asked him and some other people to meet me there, so we could hang out together." She now starts to fidget on the stairs, knowing she's in for it now.

"You have no business planning to meet up with your little boyfriend while you're supposed to be spending time with your grandma." I told her, under no circumstances, would he be welcome to join the trio either. I will be informing my mother-in-law of this as well.

"Why?! I didn't do anything," she said, which really got me going.

"Did you, or did you not, tell Ryan to meet you at the bowling alley?"

"Well, yeah, him and some other people," she says, "but I was going to be there anyway. What's the big deal?"

"So, then you DID plan all of this behind our backs?"

"Well, yeah, I guess so," she sulks.

"So, then why do you think we might possibly be upset with you?" I always have to ask the obvious questions with The DIVA because she doesn't always seem to see the connection between what she did and why it wasn't the smartest move.

"I don't know." This is, by far, my most favorite answer in the whole wide world. If you want me to go completely insane at the drop of a hat, please give me this answer to whatever question I'm asking.

After a deep breath, I say to my darling child, "DIVA, if you even get to go on this outing, you will not be meeting up with Ryan or anyone else. I'm not even going to talk to you about this anymore, as there's nothing more to say. Go get ready for bed."

I am really tired of having to go through the undercover op's with her. It never fails. She pulled it on me yesterday too, by telling her friend our family would attend a party, when she knew full-well we would not be going. She figured that if she RSVP'd that we'd attend, we'd be committed, and I'd have to take her. Um, no. After a knock-down, drag-out fight over that one, I made her call the friend and apologize for that little stunt, after which she was quite mortified. I told her, "You would have saved yourself much embarrassment by not doing this in the first place. You will have to learn the hard way on this sort of thing." This type of manipulation no longer works on me. It did for a while, as I would cave and take her if she RSVP'd to a party because I wouldn't want to disappoint her little friends, but no more. She will now have to rescind her invitation to her boyfriend and whoever else she invited on this outing, as they are not welcome, and I'm sure she'll feel some embarrassment. I'm sorry about that. She knows better, but she just keeps doing the same thing.

My mom has a joke she tells...
A guy goes into his doctor's office, wagging his arm up and down. He says to the doctor, "Doc, my arm hurts when I do this." The doctor says, "Well, if it hurts when you go like that, then don't go like that!"

Maybe The DIVA shouldn't go like that.

Mom, you just killed me!

2007-10-20T16:51:00.001-05:00

The Big Man is having an off day today. It did start out on a good note, with a desperate plea for Xbox privileges in exchange for what he dubbed "perfect behavior." He knows that I'm still recuperating and need some help with the Little Man while Dad works and The DIVA is gone today, but he doesn't exactly look forward to giving me any. I asked very little of him in this department, other than to play with the Little Man while I made lunch for everyone. A very dramatic scene ensued, so let's start from the top...

The Big Man's pride and joy in life right now is the XBox. He could play Star Wars games on there for days at a time if we let him. Behavior dictates whether or not he gets to play at all, hence the begging earlier in the day. Once Dad comes in and joins him, there's no peeling them away until one has to pee or eat. What is that about men and their video games?! And these two haven't even discovered the joys of XBox Live (thank God). We'll just pretend I didn't say it and hope they don't ever read this, otherwise they may never leave the stupid thing again- other than those ever-important treks to the kitchen and bathroom, of course.

Today's XBox gaming session was about an hour and a half in when I requested his assistance with the Little Man. He literally threw himself down on the couch in a faint, and he refused to budge or even speak to me. I repeated my request, as I really needed to get lunch made without the baby running around the kitchen island. The lump on my furniture didn't twitch. The last chance had arrived, after which I told him he needed to turn off The Precious. He immediately jumped up and started yelling about how much he hates me and he always has to do everything around here and he never gets to do anything he wants to do and I always make him watch the Little Man and...and...and...

While the yelling commenced, I ignored it and continued gathering my ingredients in the kitchen. When the water was boiling on the stove, I calmly walked over and opened the baby gate into the living room. I went over and turned both the TV and the XBox off. It was the shriek heard 'round the world: "Mom, you just killed me!" I didn't bat an eyelash as I turned around and walked back through the gate into the kitchen, returning to my place in front of the stove, to watch the water hurry up and boil.

A number of parents would have just let him go ahead and play XBox after the first sign of indignation, rather than deal with the pouting and guilt trips. After all, it was Saturday, and at his age, The Big Man shouldn't have to look after his younger brother, right? Wrong. As a member of a family, you help one another, especially if the one who requires your help is ailing in some way. There's no reason under the sun to cause such a ruckus over a few minutes spent entertaining your little brother while your mom makes your lunch. You just don't act that way!

In the board room, if your company's CEO asks you to check over the work of the new guy, you don't yell in his face, throw yourself down on the table and refuse to move until you get your way, do you? Of course not! (I've heard rumor of that type of behavior in the early 80's but that was for an entirely different reason.) Overreacting is yet another one of those traits I intend to curb long before anyone here is ready to star in the the board room.

So, the moral of today's story is...15 minutes of playing Lego's with your younger sibling will definitely not kill you, but NOT doing it might!

Meow!

2007-10-19T16:43:00.000-05:00

"Mommy? Can I get another kitty?

"No, we've been over this before. We are only having one cat, and that's Sweet Pea."

"But Mom, Sweet Pea is lonely all day when I'm gone at school. She never even had any babies of her own, so if we got a kitten, she could be a mommy then!"

"Sweet Pea is definitely not lonely all day because both Little Man and me are here for her to play with when you are not. I'm sure she's very happy happy she didn't have to have a hundred kittens either, and she quietly thanks me for it every day. "

"MO-OM! She does NOT! I can barely even pick her up anymore, she's so big. I need to have a kitten so that I can pick her up and love her."

"So you can't love Sweet Pea because she's too big for you to pick her up now? DIVA, we are only having one cat, and that' s final. Please don't ask me again. By the way, did you clean out her box today?"

"You're so mean! I HATE YOU! *door slams* The Golden Kitty is left to sit in the hallway, alone, too big and unloved.

Normally, I'd just sweep this under the feelings rug with all the other times my children have "hated" me. I am used to being the Mean Mom who never gives them anything they want. No big whoop! This time is different because...I WANT ANOTHER PET TOO! (Sniff, sniff.) I have wanted a puppy for ages, but don't you dare tell anyone or I'll never be able to live it down!

Why don't I get my children another pet? Practicality, my dear friends. I don't want to bring another animal into this humble abode if we are unable to care for it the way I feel it should be cared for. Our schedules are becoming so very hectic, I just don't think a new "baby" would get enough time and love to be able to transition comfortably into our family. I don't even want to think about how the Queen of Sheeba (seen above, patiently waiting for a treat) will react to her 6 years of being the only kitty being disturbed. That's another plank I refuse to walk.

I have a friend who has been unable to say "No" to her children in the pet department. This is why they are a family of 6, living in a suburban ranch home, with 4 dogs, 3 cats (one of whom is preggers, again), a mess of gerbils and guinea pigs, and an aquarium full of fish. She constantly complains about the pets, and how she gets stuck taking care of them all the time. So I said to my friend, "How did it get like this?" She said, "I just couldn't tell them no. They'd be so upset with me." Herein lies the problem.

Does anyone remember First Lady Nancy Reagan, and her Just Say No campaign against drugs? I think we should apply this in our everyday lives as it pertains to our kids these days. Sure, it went great with the drugs then, but it should go with everything now.

"Mom, I want a new kitty. She's so cute and sweet, I just have to have her!"
"No! She may be cute, but there's no room in the inn, honey."

"Mom, I need an IPod. My CD player is stupid and lame."
"No! I don't even have an IPod, and I'm more than twice your age. THAT is lame!"

"Mom, I have to get some new Abercrombie/Diesel/Gap/Limited Too/Express/whatever-the-latest-brandname jeans or I'll just die!"
"No! I'll call the undertaker. You'll have to be buried in your old jeans."

You know what? I really want that puppy now. I'm so mean! I HATE ME! HRMPH! SLAM! *door shudders*

It's a Wiggly World

2007-10-18T15:27:00.000-05:00

The Little Man is a rabid fan of The Wiggles. He loves everything about them. It made no difference to him that Greg had to retire and was replaced by Sam. He has a personalized CD that he listens to as he drifts off to sleep, which sings his name in each song. The TV show only plays on Disney Channel at 6AM, so I really enjoy that. It was only natural that his birthday party theme this year was The Wiggles. As part of his birthday present, I opted to take my Little Man to the Wiggles concert, when these 4 very rich, very colorful gentlemen came to our city. These tickets are hard to come by, some going for hundreds of dollars on eBay after the concerts sell out, since The Wiggles concerts are limited engagements here in the US. I was smart and got mine 2 minutes after they went on sale at Ticketmaster...for $93, after all the fees and such.

Now, some of you will say, smart? Was $93 for 2 tickets for one adult and an almost-2-year-old child a smart purchase?! To you, I say, YES! This was one of the smartest purchases I've ever made. My son was the happiest little boy I've ever seen at this concert. He was rockin' along with his favorite band, like you or I would to our faves, and I had tears of happiness in my own eyes. I sang along too, since I hear the tunes daily and know all the words myself. We had the most wonderful time. I don't know why anyone wouldn't want to give their child such pleasure if they had the means. Granted, it was very pricey, but in the end, it was worth every penny to me.

Now how does this relate to upholding my title? Ask The DIVA and The Big Man. All hell broke loose when they heard The Little Man and I were going to this concert. They couldn't fathom why I would take him and not them. I said, "Ok, I'll get 2 more tickets, and you can go with us!" A resounding "NO!" was heard across the land, as they wouldn't be caught dead at a baby concert like The Wiggles, duh! OoooooK, well then, what exactly is it that I should do in a situation like this? It's SO obvious that I'm playing favorites here. I planned to short The DIVA by purposely depriving her of a concert at age 2, of a band from Australia that I didn't know existed. I also shorted The Big Man by being oblivious of same said band, which makes me a twice-horrible person.

In today's world, many parents would try desperately to reason with these two and find other concerts to make up for this awful parental shortcoming. Not me. I sat them both down, separately, and simply explained that this wasn't a favoritism issue. The opportunity wasn't there before, it was now for The Little Man, so it was taken. There are many more times in life where each would get to do things the other two wouldn't get to, so relax and please find a way to get over it. End of story. Some might see me as hard, but I'm only trying to be a good parent and prepare my kids for the real world. In your job, when someone else gets a promotion and you don't, if you complain about it, your boss doesn't come up with a new position for you to make you happy. That's just not how it works! This kind of parenting approach- smoothing things over so their kids aren't mad at them- really makes me wonder what our next generation of leaders will be like.

On a positive note, the actual party went very well. There was lots of wiggling, of course, and The Little Man was quite content. His brother and sister had no residual effects from their lack of a both a Wiggles concert experience (however, I'm still recovering) and a Wiggly birthday party themselves. I believe both a pirate party and a slumber American Idol party are now on the horizon. Wish me luck!

Long Time, No Blog

2007-10-18T14:02:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I opened my blog nearly 2 months ago, with the high hopes that I'd be able to write something at least a few times a week. I guess I've been spending all my time being the Wicked Stepmother from Cinderella and have been unable to complete my own tasks during this time. Well, that stops now! I will hereby stop putting forced child labor (such as picking up one's room or scraping one's dinner plate into the trash before putting it into the sink) before my own pursuits (like taking a shower at least every other day or writing out my thoughts and feelings for strangers to read on the Internet) and will use my time more wisely.

Yesterday was a bad day, but I suppose that depends on who you were...

If you were the Big Man, you were more than happy, since you got to get out of your chores by driving your mother to the brink of insanity. I have nearly given up on him, and if you have an 8-year-old boy, you can relate to the fact that you may or may not be planning a 9th birthday party. He's at that age where he's wanting to assert himself more, which is fine, but he's REALLY pushing it. I give up after the first hour of arguing, as his heels have developed a thick layer of cement and dig far into the netherworlds, below the magma, near the center of the earth. Just wait 'til your father gets home!

If you were the DIVA, you were quite disgusted, as you were asked to help with the Little Man, as your mother was totally exhausted and needed your assistance. I know...God forbid you should have to HELP OUT when there's things to do like call your potential boyfriends and pick out your outfit for tomorrow. You see?! The label really does suit me nicely. What kind of a mom asks her nearly-teen daughter for help when such pressing matters exist?!

I was having a bad day, a bad week actually. I had surgery last Wednesday, for a Mommy matter, and I have just been unable to feel better yet due to lack of rest. Imagine that, if you can. I recall the last few seasons of "Nip/Tuck", where Drs. McNamara and Troy sent their patients to recover in luxury after their various nose jobs and breast enhancements. If only there were a Mom Recovery Wing in our local hospital, where you'd say goodbye to your family after your procedure and be whisked away to private recovery rooms that were loaded with the works- fluffy robes and slippers, a variety of herbal teas and fresh-baked cookies at your bedside, CURRENT magazines on appropriate topics (no Men's Health or Sports Illustrated, thanks), a cuddly king bed with tons of pillows, and the darkest shades for the best night's sleep you'll get until you reside in a casket. Or have another procedure done. I have now decided what I will do with my vast fortune when I am gone...

And if you were the Little Man, life was good, as usual! He hasn't a care in the world, as he's usually catered to by most everyone around him, on the verge of spoiling really. I try not to, but being the youngest does have its perks. He got a new movie, "Over the Hedge", which he must watch over and over and over and over and over. The "turtle movie" has surpassed Shrek, Spongebob, and Tarzan this week. And yes, my 2-year-old does watch TV- so what?! He has the mental capacity to sit and behave himself to actually make it through an hour and a half film, which surprises me, but it's never a babysitter here since I'm right there with him. He also is working on his alphabet and already knows his numbers to 10, although he mixes them up from time to time. Pretty good for a kid who watches the dreaded TV!

When I fell into bed last night and pulled out the old laptop, I realized how lax I had been here. I will not let it happen again. My real hope for this is that people can come here and read my follies, have a laugh or ten, and see that you can stick to your principles and still raise some great kids. I won't bow to society's latest "norms" when it comes to these little ones. I still have some control, although it seems a bit wavering at times, but I don't see it as power over my kids. That being said, even though I am open and honest with them, I will always be their parent before their friend. They have plenty of those, but only one Mom.

Even if she's the World's Meanest Mom.

Let me tell you why I am here...

2007-08-25T15:03:00.000-05:00

I am the World's Meanest Mom.

I have been informed of this many times, and that's just in the last hour or so.

Now, I am sure that we have all said this to our mothers before, in the heat of passion, such as when she didn't allow us to go outside and play in the mud before family pictures, or when she told us we couldn't have dessert before dinner, or when she refused to give us permission to stay out until 2 AM when we were 16 when all the other kids' parents let them do it.

I lay all these other moms to shame, according to my children. I am the single most uncool mom in the world, and in my blog, I will be sharing with you all the reasons why they believe this to be true. I'll give you some background so you know what I'm dealing with here.

The DIVA: Yes, capital letters. The DIVA is 12 going on 26. I have now determined that there is no such thing as "preteen years" anymore. It goes from sweet, innocent little elementary school girl, directly into hormonal, attitude-laden high schooler from hell. I realize she actually attends middle school, but I don't think that she does. We should be best friends, and we will be some day, but it's an age thing. Moms and daughters often go through this, and I'm struggling, but I hold my ground on what I believe is right. (I'm your mother, that's why.) The DIVA's beautiful, athletic, intelligent, and too big for her not-low-rider britches most days.

The Big Man: He is 8. He is very serious. He loves video games and playing baseball and all things BOY. I love him dearly of course, but I find him to be a bit of a follower at times. He jumped willingly on the bandwagon when then phrase "You're so mean!" became commonplace around here. I don't think he honestly believes this, but he's going along with his big sister's example right now. The Big Man loves The Little Man madly, and he sets a good example for him, so all hope isn't lost here. A little bit of "Middle-Child Syndrome" occurs from time to time, but he copes pretty well. We nurture the little boy in him, and I work hard to be sure that he turns out to be a great man someday.

The Little Man: He will be 2 next month. He is the sweetest, most content 2 yo I have ever met, and I will probably live to regret that statement! He spends much of his time in observation of his older siblings, but he doesn't imitate, and I am happy about that. They do fight more than I'd like to see. He's a Momma's Boy, and I don't care one bit. He loves The Wiggles, SpongeBob Squarepants, and Go Diego Go. He stumbled upon Yo Gabba Gabba! this week, so I think that's his new favorite show. He's a dancer, a runner, and a painter. The Little Man will make his parents very comfortable in their old age.

So, 3 very different personalities with one common denominator- ME! They were placed in my hands to raise properly, as I see fit, to become decent and productive human beings. I am doing my best with that, in this weary world, but being the World's Meanest Mom is a hard job to handle, folks! I'll be spending my time here telling you all about the job, what it entails, and you can feel free to comment or send advice if you wish.

Thanks for joining me on my victory tour!