Call Mills Lane...and DCFS!

I have always been proud of the way I've been raising my children: parent first, friend second. Here, in this video clip, I see exactly why it is that I should continue to do it and be patting myself on the back, no matter how many nay-sayers I encounter in a day.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2008/10/17/pn.mother.daughter.brawl.cnn

This Mother-of-the-Year has decided that it was a stellar idea to not only take her 12yo daughter to a fight with another girl at a public park, but to also GET INVOLVED IN IT HERSELF. The mom (and I use the term very loosely here) is now facing charges for dragging the other girl by the hair and striking her across the face. This is a clip that's not to be missed.

As a young mother myself, I'm sure a large portion of the population will pull out that card to play, and it disgusts me. Not every young mother is as mentally ill as this one, and not every young mother makes the stupid decision to abuse not only her own child, but someone else's. Yes, I said "abuse." She's abusing her own child by bringing her up to condone violence, to act and react violently, and it's wrong. Obviously, the woman's got some serious issues herself to do this sort of thing. And to publicly strike another person's child like that?! OMG.

Every single adult that witnessed that should be held accountable as well, IMO. There's no reason they should have let those girls carry on like that, nor should they have allowed that woman to injure a child and calmly walk away from the scene. When are people going to start standing up for what is right?!?!?! I will continue to teach my kids that it doesn't matter how people look at you, or what they may say about you behind your back, but it is up to your own moral compass to guide you in situations like this and to stand up and do the decent and honorable thing to do. Parents, we're not talking about running into burning buildings here! You want your child to be the one who stands by when his/her best friend is being bullied? Or worse yet, to be the bully themselves? Of course not. Then teach them that this sort of behavior is unacceptable. Feel free to show them this video, and discuss their thoughts on it. Ask them what they'd do in that situation, and how they feel about a parent who acts like that. I know what my own kids will say when I show it to them...

The DIVA: "OMG! I'd be SOOOOO embarassed if my mom was at a fight I was in, let alone actually IN IT! Mom, you're never driving me to a fight. Ever."

(Me: "Um, not exactly what I was going for, but you're right...I'll never be driving you to a fight.")

The Big Man: Why would somebody's mom take them to a fight? Wouldn't they get in trouble for fighting?

(Me: "Yes, they should be getting in trouble. You don't need to resort to fighting and violence to resolve your issues.)

The Little Man: Fighting is naughty. They go to their rooms!

(Me: That's right, Little Man! They're being very naughty. The mommy needs to go to her room too.)

Being open with ALL of my kids, on a level they can understand, has been very helpful for me. It's our "friendship" connection that many parents feel they must have. I'm open and honest with them, about anything they want to ask me about, but I draw lines on their behaviors and my willingness to allow certain privileges at certain ages. No-holds-barred Muy Thai is saved for the over-21 crowd, and even then, only if you've been formally trained in Thailand.

A quiet dinner

We moms dream of those meals that are cooked by others and that we get to eat whilst they are still warm, hot even. This is the stuff dreams are made of!

The other day, I took The DIVA, The Big Man, and The Little Man out to dinner at Boston's. Dad was working late shift, so we decided we'd hit Petsmart so The DIVA could pick out some new fish for her tank and then grab some food. First, we thought we'd go to Old Chicago, but when we drove into their parking lot, it was totally packed and cars were parking out on the adjacent street. I didn't care to wait with a starving, exhausted 3-year-old and a cranky 9-year-old, for 45 minutes, just so that we could get a discount (we know the manager there, he hooks us up!). So, after driving around a bit, then parking to figure out where we were going without wasting anymore gas, The Big Man decided he wanted to go to Boston's. The DIVA and I didn't care. The Little Man was passed out from all the driving and the lack of nap earlier. Joy.

We head over to Boston's, and I haul The Little Man from his carseat, still sleeping. We get a large booth and this is what I get...


My sleeping son was totally passed out- nothing was going to stir him from his slumber. I did get a bit of a nod when I asked him if he wanted chocolate milk while I was putting him down. I didn't even get his coat off. I just let him be until his food got there about 20 minutes later. It was a wise choice, indeed!

Now The Big Man had a rough day at school. We've been dealing with the bullying brats at his school, and a bunch of useless staff members who are far more concerned with their contract hours than they are about my child's safety, but I digress. He's at the point where the slightest thing tips him off, and the rest of the night is hopeless for me to deal with him at times. We're trying to work with him (obviously), but it's hard for a 9yo to separate those feelings from school, and the lack of caring that goes on there, with what's happening in the here and now. I really feel for him because he can't even enjoy a good meal right now. He really can't, no matter how I try to cheer him up, once he starts thinking about what's gone on during his day. It's so sad, it breaks my heart. This was his "smile" for the evening...


That night, The Big Man and The DIVA (who declined a photo op this evening, as apparently Mr DeMille hadn't notified her of any closeups) had worked out a plan where she would order a 10" pepperoni pizza, he would order chicken strips and fries, and they'd split the two meals between the two of them. Neither of them could decide between the two meals which they wanted, so they compromised. The best part about this was that I played no part in this whatsoever! They planned it between themselves, divided the food equally, and never squaballed at all during any of it. Had I not have been sitting there the entire time, I would have sworn I came back from the restroom and sat down at a different table, with different kids. I'm very proud of them, that they're able to get along better these days. I've always known they've had it in them, and they certainly have their days, but overall, they do well right now. This is another moms' dream: your children getting along with one another, without having to be begged or bribed. However, when the do, you always wonder if they are up to something.

And so we come to my real dream for the evening- hot food that someone else cooked for me! I got my pizza, which I ordered 3 times the size I actually needed, so I could take home leftovers. Hey, so I'm cheap! I did end up with lunch and dinner for the next 4 meals, TYVM! ;) I got the put-together version of a Zorba the Greek, which Boston's no longer offers on their menu. They took it off about 2 years ago or so, but I still know what what was on it and ask for it when I'm there. They never remember, so I just end up ordering a make-your-own with the toppings that were on it. It costs me more, but I only like that kind.

It's sad when you're totally excited about and yearn for simple stuff like hot food, and you consider pizza with toppings YOU want, a special treat.

Well, no, it's not exactly sad. It just means that means you are a mom.

You live and you learn sometimes

Tonight, The Big Man comes to me, whilst I'm "indisposed," and shares with me that he needs to complete a 3-paragraph paper by tomorrow. It was after 8 PM already, which is his bedtime (sorta). As I sit on my throne, I'm also joined by The Little Man, Sweet Pea, and Dad, who all need something. Imagine my enthusiasm to complete all these tasks....all at the same time I handle the initial one I set out to do. So I read the paper The Big Man's teacher has given the kids on their assignment, explain it to him, and send him to get a magazine for an article (I had one for myself to read in there, but that never happened). I sent Dad to put The Little Man to bed. I sent the cat out to entertain herself elsewhere. I couldn't reach the door to lock it.

The Big Man comes back with a magazine, and I flip through to find an article quickly, so I can help him get going so he can get it over with and get to bed as fast as possible. He has no paper to write on. I send him to get some from my printer. He then finds that he's totally unable to read. I find him something shorter in the newspaper. Then he can't figure out how to make 25 sentences summarize into 12, in his own words. Life is rough here, people! I'm wondering how he manages to get dressed by himself at this point, since he seems to be unable to accomplish anything, so I continue to humor him, just for a laugh myself. He's so sad and pitiful, as he sits in his chair, totally lost and not knowing what to do at all. Woe! Sigh!

I then decided to be selfish and take a shower, so I left him to his work. When I got out of the shower, he was in bed with the light off. Great! He's all done and going to sleep, I thought. Dad went in to check on him and ask about his assignment, and what does he find? The Big Man didn't do it- he just decided he'd go to school without it tomorrow. Um, no, not so much. Dad made him get up out of bed and get it done. Dad and I then watched a show on TV, and about 40 minutes later, the whimpering and crabbiness had stopped. Here's why...



Yep, he fell asleep at the wheel. And yes, the page was still blank. If only I could be a fly on the wall to hear the elaborate story he comes up with to tell his teacher in the morning. I should send him a link to my blog, so he knows the real story. A picture's worth a thousand words, after all. ;)

What's on your plate?

Ok, I can't stand it. I have to show this to the world!

Here is the morning snack of a certain 2-year-old I know (and love dearly). No, it's not my own child's plate either. The Little Man would be totally uninterested in this nightmare. I snapped this picture about 10 days ago, after I stopped laughing hysterically. I know, "it's what he likes," but come on! LMAO!


Yes, you are looking at a lovely course of marshmallows and lime finger Jello. The marshmallows appear to have been, um, 'tasted' a bit, then returned to the plate, and there they sit and await someone's hunger to get the best of them again. Perhaps that is what the spoon is for.

Sooooooo, I'll ask again, what's on YOUR plate? ;)

OMG! I missed my own anniversary!

I just realized that I've had my blog for a year, as of August 25th! In my defense, I was up in Minnesota, in the land of broken cell and Internet services, on the 25th, otherwise I probably would have made a post on that day. My next-year's resolution is to write more here, now that I'm working online full-time now. I have also sent ALL my kids to school, part-time, at least, so I have more me-time to ramble on about my family on my blog! ;)

I had my wedding anniversary in August too, on the 2nd, and THAT I did remember. My husband even remembered it! I made the silly assumption that he might plan something special for us to do, now that we've been hitched for 11 years, but I was mistaken. We ended up going to Applebee's for dinner, with the kids, and that was only because no one had been to the store for groceries and there wasn't anything in the house for dinner! The kids enjoyed their chicken tenders and fries, as usual. We are awesome. ;) Anniversaries for us (like everything else) are usually planned by yours truly. We often go away for the night to a hotel, but at the very least, we will head out to enjoy a nice adult dinner, some uninterrupted conversation, and just relax a bit. I will just have to look ahead to next year, and perhaps save a bit of money for something nicer than usual.

At least something nicer than Applebee's. Yikes!

Our New Hobby

We just returned this week from a very nice vacation in northern Minnesota. The DIVA stayed behind with my sister though, as she had some teenage end-of-summer party that absolutely could not be missed. Dad, The Big Man, The Little Man, and I, as well as Dad's parents, spent 7 glorious days in cabins right on a lake where the water was so clear, you could see down for nearly 8 feet in most areas. We were actually this close...

The cabins were quite primative, as well as stuck in the 1970's. Our boys had never lived at this level before, and it was kinda funny to me. They've camped in a tent for a few nights, but nothing like this.

Notice the fabulous florals and great greens. We did have a lovely kitchen though, which was stocked with the finest snack foods (whatever we hauled from home + picked up at the Super Wal-Mart in town...30 minutes away).

Of course, we didn't totally "rough it" on our trip. The Little Man decided that Scooby, Garfield, and Spongebob needed to join us on our vacation as well.

Imagine his father's horror when he got there and found that there were only 2 plugs in the whole cabin, and they were only 2-prongs, when he required 3-prong access. All was solved when we got an adaptor from the main lodge. Whew! Technological crisis averted!

The only thing that cut through the beautiful sounds of silence (besides the barking dogs) were the shrieks of delight from my boys, when they were playing outside or enjoying their newest hobby: fishing. We spent quite a bit of time on the boat over a week's time. I, personally, LOVE to fish. I have since I was a small child, when my grandpa Andy used to take us kids out on his boat and teach us all about how to bait our hooks and where to catch the biggest fish. I miss him dearly, but I know he's proud that I'm passing on his favorite pasttime to his great-grandchildren. Grandpa Andy had two great loves in his life: my grandma, and fishing. :)

The boys both had poles ready when we got there, courtesy of their Grandpa B. He was official Captain of our vessel, taking us all around the lake to different spots to cast. (I swear, I've never been on a boat that NEVER dropped anchor, even in good fishing spots, but I digress...) The Big Man was quick to catch on to casting, athough he hooked himself and other objects (and people) whilst in the learning stages. He also was rather vocal the whole week, which I think was a bit detrimental to our fishing in general. Lots of fishing to be had, but not so much catching, as the yelling was scaring them all away. Shush, boy! LOL He was so proud when he caught his first fish, a lovely rock bass- not good eating, so he went back in.

The Little Man had a great Pirates of the Carribean fishing pole, but in a bit of a struggle for control of it with The Big Man, it was lost in the drink. I jumped up as quickly as I could, and before I could reach down to grab it, the pole was gone. The Little Man watched sadly as it sunk into the dark depths. We were all on the boat that time, and a bit disgusted of course, because The Little Man was upset about his loss and we couldn't do anything about it to appease him in the middle of the lake. Dad and I headed in to town the next day to find a suitable replacement, which proved to be quite the task. We got one that we thought was perfect- a Spongebob pole that floated if dropped into the water! Yeah, right. POS. We got it back to the lake- a 30 min drive each way, mind you- only to discover that after 3 casts, the thing locked up completely and was useless. This would not do at all. Back to town we go, return the pole, head back to try and find another one. We checked another pole just like it to see if it was just the other reel that was bad, but alas, it was the design. Dad tried to 'catch' me with it, to test it out, along with some other ones, and we picked one out for him. This one was super-cool too though- it's Cars and came in a little transparent backpack, with sunglasses and a tacklebox! Each of the kids' poles had a casting plug, so unlike the hook he'd been working with (or injuring people with) before, we decided to put that on until he'd gotten the hang of casting and reeling it in. Here he is, throwing his Cars tire around.

And here he is catching his first fish! Unfortunately, this guy was a rock bass too, so he went back in too.

I won this year with the biggest fish- a bass weighing in at 1 lb 11 oz. Just missed the 2 lb mark- crap! Beat the hubby by more than half a pound though, so I'm satisfied. ;) I get to gloat for the next year until we go back to the quiet nothingness.

Eating, sleeping, fishing. I can't wait!

Bristol Palin- Moral Majority Martyr

Ok, so this is the talk of the town right now. It's been on my lips too, I'll admit. Having been a teen mother myself, I feel for her. She will have a long road ahead, although her baby shower will be very nice! ;) I also feel badly that her mother's using her, um, "situation" for political gain. I see no good in including the personal lives of two teenagers and their unborn child in the mega-media forum that is the 2008 Presidential Election. Sarah Palin is an awful mother. I'm sorry, she is.

If I were Sarah Palin, I'd send my child and her soon-to-be husband on an extended vacation with all the cash I have. I'd send them away from the prying eyes of the media, all the flashbulbs and reporters' mikes, and give them some privacy. In the off chance that McCain should win the house, that baby's photos will sell right up there with the likes of Brangelina. Perhaps France might be a good locale for the birth? Besides, they'll need the alone time before the baby comes too. After all, the nanny won't want to stay overnight all the time, and Grandma will be too busy galavanting all over, doing important political work.

The idea that bringing the "extended" family together in public while trying to right a 'wrong', if you will, is A BAD IDEA. Bristol is still a child, Sarah's child, and she should be doing all she can to protect her. The world is cruel, but perhaps all these years in politics - as a woman - haven't taught her that. To make the announcement of the teen pregnancy to clear the air for the party nod is one thing, but to parade Bristol around, to try and make amends with the moral majority by showing Bristol choosing to give life rather than abort, is WRONG. I would NEVER do this to my children. I love them all far too much. I'd sacrifice my career, my whole life, before I put them into the spotlight like that.

The Little Man

Were you aware of how fast toddlers grow? And how fast they learn language? And how much trouble they can get into when you're taking 2 seconds out of your day to utilize the facilities?!

The Little Man has been spending his days making a nuisance of himself to everyone around him, which is exactly what toddlers do to learn how the world works! He's happily playing with all The Big Man's toys, even though it might very well be the end of the earth on its axis if he were to touch anything in his brother's domain. He's putting a wide variety of items into both the toilet (when no one is sitting on it) and the fish tank, just to see what happens when you do that. Trust me- good things do not happen when you do that. He's running around the house like a crazy person, day and night, and I truly wonder who put the dollar coin in him...we are well past nickel here. I'm still working on that energy potion too, haven't quite perfected it yet, but I still have the names and addresses of those interested parties when it does go on the market.

I have to say, with all his shenanigans, The Little Man has certainly made his mark on the summer of 2008. He's started potty training, at his own pace of course. He's interested sometimes, but not always, and he loves his pirate pull-ups (thank you, Target!). He and I went to Target the other day to pick up some fall clothes, and we took a spin by the undies. He was fascinated by all the different kinds and wanted them all, like any toddler does. I told him that when he goes on the potty all the time, we will buy all the undies he wants. That didn't go over very well, but he will understand as we talk about it more. He has some Nemo ones now, but he wants Cars and Pirates and Diego and...well, you get the idea.

The other huge endeavor is - da da da DA! - PRESCHOOL! Yes, The Little Man has started preschool this last fall, and he's super-psyched about it. He's all about the playing and making mischief with other kids now. Mom is all about the getting 2 hours to do something alone, twice a week, even if it means I sit in the lobby with a book and a Starbucks tea. This is all about people enjoying their all-important ME time, and it is certainly money well spent in my book (not on the Starbucks...ok, maybe on that too). I'm more than happy to shell out a couple hundred bucks for preschool each semester if it means The Little Man gets some socialization, some more play time with other toys, some indoor & outdoor excersize, and lunchtime with his friends. I'm happy that he's happy with getting away from me too.

*sniff, sniff*

The Big Man

A new sport has come into The Big Man's life this summer: golf. He's a few years off from the next Tiger Woods, but I have faith in him too! I have a cushy retirement to fund, you know. Grandpa signed him up for a few weeks of lessons, picked him up some used clubs and a new bag, and he's all ready to hit the links. He goes with my brother-in-law to the driving range often, and he's even been to the Par 3 with him once. For a child with a short fuse and little patience, I was concerned about his sporting interest at first, but he seems to be getting along just fine. He's really a natural too, according to my BIL! The Big Man's golfing outings have also peaked the interests of The Little Man AND The DIVA, who have also secured their own clubs (thanks to Craigslist and a very nice lady at a garage sale). I have golf balls and tees everywhere now. Ok, now if you could all submit your nicks for The Big Man for when he becomes famous, I'd appreciate it. "Tiger" is already spoken for.

This was also the summer of "I'm BORED!" The Big Man sat around, doing mostly nothing, all the time. I couldn't get him out of the house to play to save his soul. I attribute most of this unwillingness to expose himself to sunlight to the fact that the majority of our neighbors are girls, one of whom has a bit of a crush on him, and he's not dealing well with those icky, cootie-infested, skirt-wearing freaks. It's the saddest part of being a 9yo boy apparently- being lusted after by all the girls. He's mortified by this. I'm rather amused. ;)

His school year didn't end well at all. Last year was a bad year, with bad teachers and a bad classroom environment. I was very happy to see it close, perhaps moreso than he was. This year brings a different set of kids (2/3 kept him with the same bunch for 2 years), and he has a male teacher for the first time, with the exception of specials (gym, computer, music, etc). I think The Big Man will excel this year, as he has someone who he can relate to a bit better. I know his teacher well, and he will not stand for the things that have gone on in the past. My son in much more advanced than his classmates, and he's been basically held back in his own learning and kept to the median grading level, which has affected him both personally and academically. This year, he will have an IEP (independent eduation program) and that should keep him advancing at HIS pace, not that of the average student in the class. I know The Big Man will come home much happier knowing that he's excelling and no longer bored. Heaven knows it's boring enough around here for him!

He also saw very little of the PSP and no XBOX. For those of you who've been reading for a while now, you willl recall that these items are his reason for living, and the bane of my existence. We had achieved a happy medium until the negative behavior got so far out of control that I put the smack down on that. Those people who refuse to do their chores, talk back, call their mother and siblings names, and generally ignore every respectful request to cooperate, get just shy of jack squat for privileges. I am a horrifically mean mom, and you will like it! ;) He's been able to earn a bit of time with The Precious, but not very much. He's beginning to realize that I DO mean business with this, and I'm not backing down on it. Dad gets mad because then he doesn't get to play much either. Perhaps the two should work together on it and compromise somehow, huh?!

I have faith in my eldest son as well, that he will overcome the adversity he faced in 3rd grade and rise above and succeed in 4th grade. I know The Big Man is a brilliant guy, with so much love and heart to give...he's just a bit stunted right now. The school really did a number on him, and they are on my list, let me tell ya! I'd hate to be them if they step out of line with my boy this year. A horse's head may end up....nah, I wouldn't do that to the poor horse. Perhaps a dead rat though.

The DIVA update!

I thought I might catch you all up on what each of my lovin' little darlin's has been up to in the past few months. There's far too much to put into one post, plus they all love the spotlight, you see. I can hear all the arguing now about who got the most sentence-time in the post, so I'm putting the kobosh on that now and giving each of them their own time on stage here. :)


The DIVA has been busy hating me, as every teenage girl does her mother. I'm so uncool. I'm such a nerd. I have no style whatsoever. My fashion sense is apparently from the 1940s, just so you all know. She turned 13 in June, and since then, she has decided that she no longer has to abide by anyone's rules but her own. It's her way or the highway, baby! Guess how well that goes over? YEP- you guessed it right! Like a turd in a punchbowl.


She's been off most days with her friends, a few of whom have behavior that I really dislike. They are a year or so older, and they are manipulative brats whose parents are like those in my previous post....they let them run their own lives. Um, no. That is why YOU are in charge until those kids turn 18. They CAN'T make all their own decisions because they're not equipped to do so yet. Your job is to do that for them until you've sufficiently raised them to do a good job of it on their own, and they can legally do so for themselves. None of these 13 & 14yo's are at this point yet, of course, although if you asked them (and perhaps their parents), you'd get an entirely different answer. When The DIVA comes home and tells me So-and-So is pregnant or got someone pregnant, I will have them picked out before she even mentions their name, lets just say that.


*le sigh*


Thus far, The DIVA's been making good decisions, but she has found herself a few "boyfriends" along the way. I do not allow dating, or even group dating, but she's managed to get some of that in without an adult around a few times. I know I can't keep her in a closet forever, but her lack of good decision making skills has prevented me from slacking up the leash at all. If she proves to me that she can handle it, I'm willing to negotiate my position.


School ended on a great note, and it seems to be starting on a very good one now. She's enthusiastic about being back, seeing some of the friends she didn't see this summer, and is looking forward to her new teachers too. I'm glad that she's taking the initiative to put forth more effort and trying to like school. It's really not all that bad, if you don't stress out about it so much! School is a kid's job, afterall. I liken it to my unpaid position as a mother- it's something you have to do without compensation, you learn a lot along the way, and even deeply despise it some days.

I have high hopes for my daughter, my baby girl. She is trying...very trying, as my own mother would say. I give her some space to be herself, but it's hard to give her much of a leash these days. I'm hoping that she keeps the positive attitude in the forefront in the coming days, and that she works towards doing the things she knows are right. I have faith in her! :)

Guess what?! More crappy parents are outed!

Yeah, yeah, I know....I haven't blogged here in a million years. I've been doing other stuff, like starting a new business, working on my website for that (I'm no HTML wizard, you know- this takes time, patience, and Starbucks!), and contributing content to another blog, http://www.unnecessarypackaging.com/. I HAD to come over here and post this today though, and I fully intend to get back into the misadventures of The DIVA, The Big Man, and The Little Man this week!

If your kid came to you, whining about how much they hated school, and said they aspired to play video games for a living - at age 16 - would you allow them to drop out to aspire to all things gaming? These parents did.

http://videogames.yahoo.com/feature/16-year-old-quits-school-to-play-video-game/1238119

What the hell is the matter with them?! The mom says "We couldn't take the complaining anymore." Um, hellooooo?!?! YOU are the parent, HE is the child. Until he's 18 and out on his own, his complaining about not wanting to go to school should fall on deaf ears, lady! Why not foster his mastery of "Guitar Hero" (which I will admit, I play and enjoy myself) with an actual guitar and some real lessons, so that he might be able to get a real job, maybe teaching inner city kids in a music class some day?

Srsly.

I have no idea what is wrong with some people these days.

There's absolutely no excuse for this kind of crap. No one can move my position on this. Ever. School comes first, then family stuff, THEN extracurricular activities- at least that is the order in my home. I hate that our society's parental units are allowing this lax attitude to be fostered everywhere. Hey, guess he's had enough schooling, let's let him make his own decisions on the matter, eh? Matter of fact, why not let him go ahead and drink alcohol too? He can decide for himself after all- he's a big boy now!

Is a wake-up call ever going to come, or are our kids going to have to continue to suffer with mediocrity, or worse, for the rest of their days? Please notice the example this kind of crap sets, and don't let your kids stoop to this level. Sure, buy them video games and let them watch TV if you want, but don't let it get like this. THIS is crazy, and these parents are nuttier than peanut brittle for pulling this stunt.

/rant & off soapbox now!

;)

What month is it?!

I haven't blogged in, like, fo-evah! (as The DIVA would say) I'd tend to agree with that.

I've been not only very busy, but also very sick. It's hard to run a household from a (month-long) sickbed. First, my husband went through it. He was gracious enough to bring this flu bug home from work with him. Thanks, Honey. At least we can't say he never gave us anything. I would rather have something more along the lines of diamonds or even chocolates, but I digress...

When a man gets sick, it is truly then end of the universe. Not life, not the world, but the universe. They can't seem to accomplish anything for themselves, including proper hydration and accurate dispensing of the medications that will bring them back to the land of the living. What is with that?! I think my grandmother is quite accurate when she says a man without a woman is only half a person. After all, half of him would be DEAD from the flu without a woman there handing him orange juice and DayQuil every 4 hours. God only knows what shape the other half would be in too. I don't want to think about it...I might relapse myself.

So, the poor soul, who really was that sick, spent 5 days laying in bed- our bed -tossing and turning, sweating and freezing, barely getting any rest through all of his fits, and as his loving wife and adopted mommy (I also think there are adoption papers somehow tied to the signatures on marriage licenses, although I can never prove it...still working on it though.), I cared for him night and day through it all. I love him to the ends of the earth, and it is a very rare occasion he gets sick, so he wasn't milking it or anything. He really was THAT SICK. I was the most concerned when he asked me to drive him to the doctor. After the smelling salts cleared away, we bundled up The Little Man and headed off to the Urgent Care Center, as the regular clinic was full up with other folks dying of the flu. The passer-on of this fabulous gift found out earlier in the day he actually had pneumonia, so we wanted to get my man checked out, in case he needed antibiotics. Luckily, he did not. He just needed to wait it out. Thanks- that will be $500, please. Ugh!

So my husband, I'm happy to report, did survive his ordeal. The day after he started feeling better, guess what happened? You betcha! It was my turn to toss and turn, and sweat and freeze, and barely get any rest, but there was one teeny little difference here: I was on my own. I still had to "go to work." There are no allotted sick days for Moms, and no matter how many times I tried to call in sick to The Little Man, he was not having it. I did too! I called from my sick bed, "Little Man! Mommy can't come hug you!" (Please, before you attack, go back to my previous post, and have some sympathy for the sick. Yes, he's still doing this. *sigh*) He wasn't answering his phone, and his machine must have been to full to take a message on this one. No one was home with us all day, so when The Big Man came home from school, I had to have him help play with his brother for a while until Dad got home. The Big Man was less than impressed, as usual, but he did help out. He breathed many a sigh of relief when he came home to a quiet, napping Little Man. Then he could play PSP in peace and quiet. Sheesh! Can't a kid play video games undisturbed these days?!

I'm finally coming out of my flu daze, nearly a month later. It's just hung on, and on, and on. Much of it has been the fact that I haven't had the luxury of laying around and resting, not having to take care of anyone else, and having someone take care of me. I didn't take good care of myself, simply because I couldn't many days. I skipped meals for days, didn't take in as many fluids as I should have, even ran out of meds one morning and was too sick to go get more. Oh well, I, too lived to tell about it! Hopefully, there's no way to transfer germs across the 'net. You most certainly DO NOT want to get what we had. (knock on wood!) The boys didn't get it, and The DIVA had a very mild case, only about 2 days and pretty light. I'd rather take care of 3 sick kids at once than be sick like this myself, and I'm sure all you moms out there can relate. I don't care to do this again, evah!

"Mommy! Hug me!"

I am going crazy here.

The Little Man has developed a very sweet, yet very annoying habit. All day, and all night, he yells "Mommy! Hug me!" or "Mommy! Help me!", when he's behind the gate or not getting his way. I am going insane. I am awakened at all hours of the night to have to go and hug him. I've finally started ignoring it at these times, hoping he'll go back to sleep. This works about half the time, the other half he screeches and screams until I go in there. Of course, the rest of the house, maybe even the neighbors, have been awakened by this display of affection towards his mother. It's not a need, it's not a separation anxiety thing either. He never does it when I'm leaving (which isn't often anyway), he's not scared or afraid when I go to him. He's just using this as a manipulative tool to get some extra attention.

Ok, Moms, what would you do??? Your youngest child, who's face you absolutely melt for, wants to do nothing but hug and kiss you all the time, but you know there's an ulterior motive for it.





I'm no dummy, folks. The boy needs no help, nor does he require this extra attention. Mind you, he's got almost all of my attention, all day long, every single day. He's not wanting! I have to laugh much of the time. I have to stifle it when my husband's swearing next to me in bed at 3 AM, thoroughly not amused as "Mommy! Hug me!" cuts through the night air.

He's just jealous. ;)

MY chair!

In our home, we've never really had too many issues with the word "MINE!" Even when the older kids were small, they shared pretty well. The Little Man has no problems with it at all, since he's shared his stuff with my nephew pretty much since birth. It's just the way it's been, so no biggie for him. I'm pretty happy with this harmony...saves a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, for all of us. ;)



This brings us to the only one in our home who thinks they can do whatever they please. She's commandiered everything we own, at some time or another, and she doesn't like to give it up. She's not mean and doesn't hiss, she just holds a grudge for a while afterwards, and YOU KNOW you did something to upset the balance of the universe. Shame on you!



Whilst we were cleaning The Little Man's room, I set his Spongebob chair out in the hallway for a while. This selfish lady sauntered upstairs and decided it was discarded permanently, kind of like when you leave old furniture on the curb. Sweet! So she hopped her furry buns into it and settled down for a long-winter's nap....so she thought. I went to pick the chair up again, not realizing she was in it, and it appeared a bit heavier than before. Hmmmmm. This thing's only made of foam. So I climbed over the gate to see what was the matter, and there she was, in all her splendor. Gotta love her! My favorite part of the photo is Spongebob's expression, which is in no relation to her, but fits quite nicely...."get outta The Little Man's chair, Sweet Pea!"

Throwing the baby out with the...laundry???

I saw this video this morning on CNN.com, and I was horrified. Watch with care...

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/01/25/lopez.baby.tossed.with.laundry.wfaa

I was the most disturbed by Huguley Memorial Medical Center, Forth Worth, TX, stated that this lawsuit was QUOTE "not worthy of a lawsuit." Ok, hold on to your seats, everyone, because Mom is about to blow.

I'm sorry, but in what world do they live in that such little regard is held for a human being, that they should be treated much the same as trash? If this were a 5-year-old, or a 45-year-old, or a 95-year-old, would the same reasoning be applied?! I think not. I am absolutely appalled at the audacity of this so-called medical facility, that they would actually make a public statement such as this. In many states, even moving a corpse after death, unless you are a coroner or funeral home personnel, is a criminal offense. So how is it that throwing a deceased child, who didn't even get the joy of spending a single day with his mum and daddy, out with the dirty laundry, and NOT being held accountable for that OK, on any level?!

Kourtney, if you or anyone that knows you should come across this, know that I stand beside you, holding your hand. I have felt your pain, having lost 4 children of my own. I cannot, however, imagine the heartbreak of not knowing if that truly was your Jacob in the casket. I firmly believe that every baby, regardless of how tiny they were when they were lost, deserves every single bit as much respect as someone who's lived and breathed as we do today. It's not right, it's not fair, but if we fight for those who cannot fight for themselves, they will have a voice through us. I do hope you are able to get some semblance of closure through your lawsuit, by making sure safeguards are in place so no one else should have to suffer your fate. My prayers are with you and your family.

And as the World's Most Dedicated, Loving, Hurt, Sad, Angry, Determined Mom, I wish everyone else out there to know the following:

If you or anyone you know should ever suffer the horrible tragedy of miscarriage or stillbirth, you have every right do what you wish with your child's body. Treat them as you would any other family member, and call a funeral home. Let the hospital staff know, in writing, before any procedures are done if possible. The hospital MUST release the remains if your baby dies during pregnancy. Even if it's an early loss and you've had a D&C, a small, sweet box can be quite healing. Every funeral home can assist you with this, and it's usually around $50 or so. Some will even do it for free. If you choose not to take your child's remains, any loss, even up to 39w, is treated as medical waste and sent for incineration. A deplorable thought, I know, but I say this so that you may change your mind with how you handle things. Respect your child, take care of them, even though you couldn't hold them in your arms and cuddle them, do this one last thing for them. If you suffer a stillbirth, take the time to hold your child, cuddle them and kiss them. Let your family do the same, even siblings if you think they can understand what's happening. Don't let the hospital staff steamroll you in either case, for any reason. Know your legal rights, and when in doubt, make them prove it to you.

The pain of loss of a child cannot be put into words. The pain added by those who disrespect their very existence is uncalled for and just plain unimaginable. It still exists everywhere. I am embarrassed for and ashamed of Huguley Hospital, and all others just like them. Only empowering ourselves will stop this sort of abuse from happening. At our most vulnerable points in our lives as mothers, we should be treated with the utmost care, but yet the very fact that we are mothers is questioned and ripped away from us. Where is the care in that?

A swashbuckling we will go

The Big Man has been into Pirates of the Caribbean for some time now. I have no issue with this, as it's all in good fun really. Plus, I think having lots of Johnny Depp around the house is always a good thing! ;) I gave him a POTC birthday party (again) this year, with all his pals at the bowling alley. He's a great bowler, so he wanted to have his party there (again) this year...more so to show off, me thinks. I don't fault him for that! LOL

I always use a little bit of creativity when it comes to the kids' birthday parties. I try to find something interesting, something no one else would have at their party, and this year, I found scratch cards on eBay. They were Jack Sparrow (*le sigh*), and if you scratched off the treasure, you won a special prize. We gave away 3 metal lunchboxes. Everyone got their regular goody bags, so no one was left out, but they all enjoyed these scratch cards too. Gotta get 'em gambling early on, I guess. They had fun, no one pouted because they didn't win, so I think it went over well. I suppose I will be asked for them again next year, so maybe I should stock up. He also had a POTC cake, which I made for him, as requested. Here's how that turned out...

I also have another POTC fan in my house too now. The Little Man wanders around saying "ARRRGH!", trying to close one eye but it ends up being both. He's getting better at it though! He has learned a number of pirate-ology too, like what certain things are for- the compass, eye patch, spyglass- and what good pirate would be without his trusty cutlass...

I've come close to actually requiring an eye patch, for medical reasons, on more than one occasion lately. His control is improving though, along with his one-eyed sneer. The Little Man is also a pro at looting, as you can clearly see from this photo. He loots everyone room, usually in search of treasure, which translates loosely to chocolate of some sort. He pulls everything out of drawers in The Big Man's room, which upsets The Big Man, but delights The Little Man. He's pretty good at cleaning up after himself, when prompted, so I don't get too worked up over the initial mess. That's more than I can say for The Big Man! The Little Man also sits in the backseat of the van when traveling, shouting various pirate phrases, which is better than some of the obscenities that come from the front seat. His shouting drowns out mine, so I don't bother him....shush, Mommy! :)

Oh, no, you don't!

I caught someone trying to steal my thunder this week! Forget it, Jane. You will however get my kudos, for your amazing amount of parental fortitude in a weary teen-run world. Everyone should check this out....


http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/01/09/mean.mom.ap/

I love when parents stand up and say "No" to their kids. When the rules are broken, there are consequences, even and especially in the real world! Contrary to popular belief these days, we "mean parents" are truly prepping our kids for what it's like out there. I don't think a cop's going to be so easy-going if he or she happened to stumble upon a bottle of alcohol under the passenger seat, after stopping the kid for a slight weave after midnight or a broken tail light, and finding a nervous bunch of teens in the car, possibly with something to hide and giving him or her probable cause to search it. I know his mom did the right thing in taking the car away because had a cop found it under a suspicious set of circumstances, in the real world, they'd have taken the car...and his freedom, at least for a while. Had THAT have happened, I bet Mom would have let him stew for a bit before heading down with the bail money. I would, but I'm mean like that! ;)


I hope this also gives parents everywhere a wake-up call as to what's up with who their kids are hanging out with too. AGAIN! As if some of the most recent news hasn't been enough already. I'd hope that not only will my kids use the common sense God gave them to abstain from underage drinking, but they'll also choose friends who'll do the same. If they are 19 and have friends who are 21, I'd hope they'd offer to pick them up from a bar if necessary but not to go along. I also hope they'd use that same sense to NOT have alcohol in their car- ever - no matter how old they are. That is why God invented the trunk.

"B" Celebrities

I was reading today about Jessica and Jerry Seinfeld, and how they're being sued by Missy Chase Lapine, another author whose book bears the same subject Jessica decided to write about this last year....getting your kids to eat their vegetables.


Here's a thought, Jessica: Stop being so ridiculous and pretending that you own the idea of sneaking veggies into your kids food! My mom used to grate carrots and put them into the meatloaf, trying desperately to be the wiser, so that we girls would eat better. And we actually LIKED vegetables too! I remember loving them as a kids, and I love them now. I would rather have veggies than most any other food, other than fruit, so I suppose my dear old mom did something right there- and without a book too. *GASP!*


Here another thought to all you moms (and dads) out there you don't want to traumatize your kids, and feel the need to buy Ms Lapine's or (God forbid) Mrs Seinfeld's books: Start your kids on vegetables as infants and keep it going their whole lives! You are the parents- don't take "no" for an answer. I am The World's Meanest Mom and I make my kids eat vegetables...so there! Granted, I don't make them eat all different kinds of veggies, but they eat what they like. Baby carrots, fresh or steamed broccoli and cauliflower, cucumbers, asparagus, whatever they want, I get it and they eat it. I don't see the fight, or the reason to fight, I guess.


I always laugh when I see parenting magazines with their kid-friendly recipes, with cut-out shapes of animals in sandwiches and disguised foods and such. What a load of...um, fertilizer. I have too much else to do with my time, like clean up after their most recent toy tornado in the living room, than to carefully arrange a lion out of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without crusts, some raisins, and a handful of julienned carrots. I would rather spend my time preparing TWO meals, theirs and my own, so that I may sit down and have lunch with them and enjoy our time together, instead of taking a half-hour to kid myself that they won't figure out the lion's mane is really vegetables. Duh.

I, for one, will not be wasting my hard-earned money on any silly musings on how to get my kids to eat more vegetables. If I want them to eat more, I'll serve more- problem solved! I hope that this lawsuit ends in favor of Ms Lapine. Jerry Seinfeld appears to have slandered her enough for her to win, hands down. Jerry- you're not funny at all. Let's set a beautiful example for our kids of how "not" to act like grown-ups too. Even on the playground, the littlest kids can play nice and play fair.

Crappy New Year!

Yes, Crappy New Year to everyone! It's a crappy day because we are on holiday, and The Little Man is coming down with something. I'm sure he picked it up at Christmas, but we'll have to wait and see what develops when we get home.

The DIVA's being her usual difficult self, and I am at the end of my rope with it. She's been fighting with her cousin since we've been here (4 days), on and off, and it's making us crazy. There's no need, she's just trying to cause a fuss and make trouble. I can see there's been no resolutions on her list. Crappy New Year.

The Big Man is busy helping Grandma with a puzzle and playing his beloved PSP much of our time here. He's had a rough few weeks as well, not doing as he's told and fighting with me about everything. Today, it's been another day of not listening. Crappy New Year.

I have resigned myself to assisting the smallest one with his illness, packing up our stuff in the van, and getting home so we can all try to relax. Maybe I'll try and recoup some of the day, so it's not a totally Crappy New Year.