Ok, it's not Christmas Eve yet, but I'm wishing everyone an early Merry Christmas, as I'm sure I'll be too busy to get my blog taken care of in the next few days. May you get everything on your list!
If you aren't celebrating Christmas, Happy Whateveryoucelebrate, and enjoy your weekend!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
What every young man should learn about laundry
Technically, I suppose these rules apply to most anyone, husbands included. Mine has to be watched too! :)
This receptacle is used for two different things: to put dirty clothing into whilst in your room, and to take clean laundry upstairs once it's been laundered in the basement (then put it away). It is NOT used to store laundry, or to keep toys in, or as a step stool (BAD idea), or to trap the cat underneath because "she likes it!"
If a certain person who loves you dearly washes your clothing and it makes its way to your room, please do not rudely return it to the laundry room, neatly folded, unworn, at the bottom of the dirty clothes basket. Said person who loves you dearly will not love you for this.
I cannot stress this one enough! You ALWAYS turn dirty socks right side out when you put them into the dirty clothes basket, otherwise you will not get clean socks back. Dirty ones will come back. You'll turn what you *think* are clean sock right side out to fold them (or I will), and a shower of dirt and grime will fall into the clean basket. See aforementioned not-love-you-for-this comment.
Also, along the same lines, if you wear two socks, please place two dirty socks into the dirty laundry. If two socks don't go in, two socks cannot magically come out clean on the other side.
I know you love your jeans, one pair for every day of the week. My washing machine does NOT love your jeans that much, meaning it cannot handle an entire week's worth of jeans at once. You will not get a clean result, and it will take you a month of Sundays to dry them all. Unless you want to sell your PSP and all it's games on eBay to pay for a new washer and dryer, don't pull this stunt....ever.
Ok. I. Have. Had. It. What is it with the male of the species and lack of personal hygiene when it comes to underwear?! I will not cover this topic any further. I have to go buy bleach.
I'm going to stop here for now. The piles are getting so high, I can't see my screen anymore, so I'll have to do a part II on this, I think.
Lesson One- The Laundry Basket
This receptacle is used for two different things: to put dirty clothing into whilst in your room, and to take clean laundry upstairs once it's been laundered in the basement (then put it away). It is NOT used to store laundry, or to keep toys in, or as a step stool (BAD idea), or to trap the cat underneath because "she likes it!"
Lesson Two- Clean Clothing vs. Dirty Clothing
If a certain person who loves you dearly washes your clothing and it makes its way to your room, please do not rudely return it to the laundry room, neatly folded, unworn, at the bottom of the dirty clothes basket. Said person who loves you dearly will not love you for this.
Lesson Three- Socks
I cannot stress this one enough! You ALWAYS turn dirty socks right side out when you put them into the dirty clothes basket, otherwise you will not get clean socks back. Dirty ones will come back. You'll turn what you *think* are clean sock right side out to fold them (or I will), and a shower of dirt and grime will fall into the clean basket. See aforementioned not-love-you-for-this comment.
Also, along the same lines, if you wear two socks, please place two dirty socks into the dirty laundry. If two socks don't go in, two socks cannot magically come out clean on the other side.
Lesson Four- Jeans
I know you love your jeans, one pair for every day of the week. My washing machine does NOT love your jeans that much, meaning it cannot handle an entire week's worth of jeans at once. You will not get a clean result, and it will take you a month of Sundays to dry them all. Unless you want to sell your PSP and all it's games on eBay to pay for a new washer and dryer, don't pull this stunt....ever.
Lesson Five- Underwear
Ok. I. Have. Had. It. What is it with the male of the species and lack of personal hygiene when it comes to underwear?! I will not cover this topic any further. I have to go buy bleach.
I'm going to stop here for now. The piles are getting so high, I can't see my screen anymore, so I'll have to do a part II on this, I think.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Who lies about their age? Not me!
This week marks the first anniversary of my 29th birthday. That's not a lie. It's completely true. And next year will be the second anniversary. You got a problem with that?!
I have decided that although I'm the World's Meanest Mom, I'll spare my kids from the pain and anguish of having the World's Oldest Mom, as I'm not going to age, at least chronologically, from here on out. I will no longer be counting years that I've been on this earth, I'll be counting anniversary years, celebrating my 29th birthday. It makes sense, and I'll tell you why. When you ask a woman her age (which, by the way, you should NEVER do, under penalty of law and certain death), she will always coyly answer, "29." Well, she will if she's anything over 39 and looks a day over it, she will. I've just decided that I'll forgo the whole 30-something era and stick to the plan early on. I think my kids will thank me for it later on. Until I'm younger than they are.
I have decided that although I'm the World's Meanest Mom, I'll spare my kids from the pain and anguish of having the World's Oldest Mom, as I'm not going to age, at least chronologically, from here on out. I will no longer be counting years that I've been on this earth, I'll be counting anniversary years, celebrating my 29th birthday. It makes sense, and I'll tell you why. When you ask a woman her age (which, by the way, you should NEVER do, under penalty of law and certain death), she will always coyly answer, "29." Well, she will if she's anything over 39 and looks a day over it, she will. I've just decided that I'll forgo the whole 30-something era and stick to the plan early on. I think my kids will thank me for it later on. Until I'm younger than they are.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
My vote for World's Worst Mother...
would definitely have to go to Lynn Spears. I mean, COME ON!!! What is wrong with this picture?! This whole hot mess their family exists in is the reason I remain the World's Meanest Mom. I will continue to put my own foot down to prevent this type of stuff from happening. Let's recap a bit, shall we?!
Britney. *cringes* When you utter her name, a whole bunch of negativity goes along with it these days. She's a crappy mother in her own right. She started out her career as a budding little singer on the Mickey Mouse Club, which was commendable at the time. Ok, I can deal with that. Then she went into bubblegum pop, dressed like a schoolgirl, tempting every pervert out there, at the age of 15. Um, hello? Lynn? Did you pick that out for her? Or did you just sit in your new SUV at the drive-thru at the bank, cashing all the checks, but saying it was going into a trust for when she was older to make yourself look good, so as to not be confused with Gary Coleman's parents?!
Fast forward a few years. The pop princess isn't as popular as before, so we need to whore it up a little, so someone gets an idea to strip onstage and wear a big yellow snake and barely anything else. Lynn! Paging Lynn Spears! Any mother in her right mind would have said "Hell no!", even to her adult daughter, had she have said [insert heavy Southern accent here] "Um, Momma...I'm gonna wear these 2 threads and an elastic waistband, with a few sequins sewn on it to my concert tonight. Oh, and there's gonna be a snake there I'm wearin' too. If I wear much more, my manager says I might get too hot under all those big ol' lights." [end accent]
Can't forget the quickie wedding in Vegas to that poor Louisiana boy, who probably thought she really liked him. Lynn did get involved here...after the fact, to make sure he didn't talk to anyone and that he didn't get any of Brit Brit's hard-earned cash. I do feel sorry for the guy- he didn't deserve that train wreck. Then the second wedding was just a longer disaster, and I have to feel a bit sorry for K-Fed too, although he's not much higher up on the food chain than Britney. At least he's making an attempt to parent those poor boys! Sean Preston is a week older than The Little Man, so I know how he's growing up, what stages he's (supposed to be) at, and I cry a little inside. He needs a momma who loves him, who respects him enough to be his momma first and a media whore second...or actually, not at all.
Now, we come to today's news. The good sister, Jamie Lynn, star of Nickelodeon's "Zoey 101", is preggers...by her 19yo boyfriend...whom she lives with...at the ripe old age of 16. I can't tell you ALL things I find wrong with this, or I'd be here all night. Yes, I got pregnant at 17, but I was NOT living with my adult boyfriend as a minor, who was committing statutory rape. Paging Lynn again...and the POLICE! Maybe they don't get the tabloids there in California or Louisiana, or maybe they don't have the Internet, so let's give them the benefit of the doubt here. I also was using birth control, which happened to fail. I also wasn't given all the privilege that Jamie Lynn was, and I most certainly DID NOT go to an F-ing magazine to flaunt it to the world. I am ashamed of her for doing that, not for the pregnancy itself. Who does that?! Stuff happens, and you deal with what comes, but she set herself up to fail in all of this. And so did Lynn. Nice going!
I do wish Jamie Lynn well with her new baby, and I'm glad she chose to continue her pregnancy, but this will not be an easy road for her. I hope her boyfriend does right by her and the baby, not necessarily a teenage wedding, but that he accepts his responsibility for his child and treats his baby's mother with the respect she deserves. This was a 50/50 deal here, as it always is.
My favorite part in all of this is the conversation that I'M SURE will take place at some point, if it already hasn't, and that is the one that surrounds the release of Lynn Spears's parenting book, which is slated for release on Mother's Day 2008. She seems like the kind of person who'd get all over her younger daughter for tainting her book release with her unplanned teen pregnancy, and how that would make Lynn look as a parent. Well, Lynn, you are so right. But you already looked like a rotten parent, so why should you stop now?! Go ahead and release your book. No one wants to read about how 'hard' it was to raise two has-beens, who fell out of the limelight in their prime because they chose to make awful life decisions, due to a lack of morals their parents should have taken the time to instill in them, instead of trying to push their babies into the limelight in the first place.
That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it!
Britney. *cringes* When you utter her name, a whole bunch of negativity goes along with it these days. She's a crappy mother in her own right. She started out her career as a budding little singer on the Mickey Mouse Club, which was commendable at the time. Ok, I can deal with that. Then she went into bubblegum pop, dressed like a schoolgirl, tempting every pervert out there, at the age of 15. Um, hello? Lynn? Did you pick that out for her? Or did you just sit in your new SUV at the drive-thru at the bank, cashing all the checks, but saying it was going into a trust for when she was older to make yourself look good, so as to not be confused with Gary Coleman's parents?!
Fast forward a few years. The pop princess isn't as popular as before, so we need to whore it up a little, so someone gets an idea to strip onstage and wear a big yellow snake and barely anything else. Lynn! Paging Lynn Spears! Any mother in her right mind would have said "Hell no!", even to her adult daughter, had she have said [insert heavy Southern accent here] "Um, Momma...I'm gonna wear these 2 threads and an elastic waistband, with a few sequins sewn on it to my concert tonight. Oh, and there's gonna be a snake there I'm wearin' too. If I wear much more, my manager says I might get too hot under all those big ol' lights." [end accent]
Can't forget the quickie wedding in Vegas to that poor Louisiana boy, who probably thought she really liked him. Lynn did get involved here...after the fact, to make sure he didn't talk to anyone and that he didn't get any of Brit Brit's hard-earned cash. I do feel sorry for the guy- he didn't deserve that train wreck. Then the second wedding was just a longer disaster, and I have to feel a bit sorry for K-Fed too, although he's not much higher up on the food chain than Britney. At least he's making an attempt to parent those poor boys! Sean Preston is a week older than The Little Man, so I know how he's growing up, what stages he's (supposed to be) at, and I cry a little inside. He needs a momma who loves him, who respects him enough to be his momma first and a media whore second...or actually, not at all.
Now, we come to today's news. The good sister, Jamie Lynn, star of Nickelodeon's "Zoey 101", is preggers...by her 19yo boyfriend...whom she lives with...at the ripe old age of 16. I can't tell you ALL things I find wrong with this, or I'd be here all night. Yes, I got pregnant at 17, but I was NOT living with my adult boyfriend as a minor, who was committing statutory rape. Paging Lynn again...and the POLICE! Maybe they don't get the tabloids there in California or Louisiana, or maybe they don't have the Internet, so let's give them the benefit of the doubt here. I also was using birth control, which happened to fail. I also wasn't given all the privilege that Jamie Lynn was, and I most certainly DID NOT go to an F-ing magazine to flaunt it to the world. I am ashamed of her for doing that, not for the pregnancy itself. Who does that?! Stuff happens, and you deal with what comes, but she set herself up to fail in all of this. And so did Lynn. Nice going!
I do wish Jamie Lynn well with her new baby, and I'm glad she chose to continue her pregnancy, but this will not be an easy road for her. I hope her boyfriend does right by her and the baby, not necessarily a teenage wedding, but that he accepts his responsibility for his child and treats his baby's mother with the respect she deserves. This was a 50/50 deal here, as it always is.
My favorite part in all of this is the conversation that I'M SURE will take place at some point, if it already hasn't, and that is the one that surrounds the release of Lynn Spears's parenting book, which is slated for release on Mother's Day 2008. She seems like the kind of person who'd get all over her younger daughter for tainting her book release with her unplanned teen pregnancy, and how that would make Lynn look as a parent. Well, Lynn, you are so right. But you already looked like a rotten parent, so why should you stop now?! Go ahead and release your book. No one wants to read about how 'hard' it was to raise two has-beens, who fell out of the limelight in their prime because they chose to make awful life decisions, due to a lack of morals their parents should have taken the time to instill in them, instead of trying to push their babies into the limelight in the first place.
That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
What?! NO TREE???
There will be no tree in our home this year. We have decided that, since we aren't celebrating any Christmases here with any gift openings, we are not going to bother dragging out the tree and all the trimmings. We'd have to go to the storage unit and find it all, then get all that stuff here, find room for the extra stuff in the basement while it's here, then pack it all up in a few weeks and take it back. Notice, when I'm saying WE, it's in bold. That would be because we actually only means my dear husband. HE doesn't want to do any of this stuff this year. I caved because I'm just too stressed to keep up the fight this year. I can barely keep up the blog these days, I'm so busy with other stuff!
Next year for sure I will have my tree. Clark better get his boots on, so he can trudge through the snow...and he better not forget his ax this time.
Next year for sure I will have my tree. Clark better get his boots on, so he can trudge through the snow...and he better not forget his ax this time.
The obsession continues...
Ok, so what? Some women relax with chocolate. Some like a glass of wine in the evening. I just happen to enjoy curling up and watching Harry Potter movies. That being openly admitted to now, today is a good day. It's December 11th...the release of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on DVD.
I preordered it, so it was quietly delivered to my doorstep my the UPS man this morning around 9:30 AM (not that I was timing it or anything). I've been waiting for months for it, after having the distinct pleasure of seeing OotP in IMAX. THAT was sweet! Now granted, the DVD will not live up to that experience, but the movie itself was very good, and I am always happy to see more of the series on screen now.
I am also not ashamed to say that, once the UPS man had rounded the corner, I was like one of my kids on Christmas morning. I tore into my package as thought it was rations and I hadn't eaten in months. It was sad, really. I couldn't get the stupid thing open fast enough to bask in the glory of my newest possession. The Precious had arrived. I popped it into the DVD player, hoping to be able to sit and watch it this morning, as all was fairly quiet. The DIVA and The Big Man were at school, and The Little Man was happily attached to his toys and his Spongebob DVD in his own room, so my chances were good, right? Wrong!
How could I be so silly as to think that I might possibly get to do something that I wanted to do?! I am now going to sulk and cut it off for now, and I will come back to it later on this afternoon, hopefully when someone is taking a nap. If all else fails, Harry and friends will have to wait until late tonight, when everyone else is asleep and I am suffering from chronic insomnia again.
I preordered it, so it was quietly delivered to my doorstep my the UPS man this morning around 9:30 AM (not that I was timing it or anything). I've been waiting for months for it, after having the distinct pleasure of seeing OotP in IMAX. THAT was sweet! Now granted, the DVD will not live up to that experience, but the movie itself was very good, and I am always happy to see more of the series on screen now.
I am also not ashamed to say that, once the UPS man had rounded the corner, I was like one of my kids on Christmas morning. I tore into my package as thought it was rations and I hadn't eaten in months. It was sad, really. I couldn't get the stupid thing open fast enough to bask in the glory of my newest possession. The Precious had arrived. I popped it into the DVD player, hoping to be able to sit and watch it this morning, as all was fairly quiet. The DIVA and The Big Man were at school, and The Little Man was happily attached to his toys and his Spongebob DVD in his own room, so my chances were good, right? Wrong!
How could I be so silly as to think that I might possibly get to do something that I wanted to do?! I am now going to sulk and cut it off for now, and I will come back to it later on this afternoon, hopefully when someone is taking a nap. If all else fails, Harry and friends will have to wait until late tonight, when everyone else is asleep and I am suffering from chronic insomnia again.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Peace and Quiet....Otherwise known as "Retirement"
I envy my father-in-law. Seriously, I do. He spent many years in a state job, only to be richly rewarded with a hand-signed letter of commendation for his service from the Governor, and some pension and medical care thrown in for his and my mother-in-law's enjoyment during their golden years. And that was the fun part! ;)
No, I truly envy him because he now has peace and quiet. If he wants it. His hobby is photography, so he will often steal away to photograph serene environments upstate in the woods or wherever. I need a "job" like that. In my home, there is no such thing as peace and quiet. And there never will be, the way I see it. Even if the kids are gone for an afternoon, there is still chaos, as Sweet Pea manages to stir up trouble in their absence. I think they plan it that way. I have no idea why though. I could swear they have a radar that senses a quiet moment in time approaching, then they go into attack mode to assure that moment in time is filled to the brim with excitement, whether it be positive or negative.
I'm in dire need of some peace and quiet right now. I have Christmas stuff to do. I have cards to write, gifts to figure out/buy online/wrap, cookies to bake (yes, I plan to do it this year), and possibly, maybe even get a tree up at some point. I do want some decor around here, but Dad and I are at odds about this one little detail...
The Little Man, according to Dad, will destroy a tree. I disagree. He states that The Little Man will remove everything from the tree, bit by bit. I say no, you just have to deter him from doing it. So, we are at an impasse. I think he is just avoiding the tree altogether because he promised me a REAL TREE last year. I am sick of a plastic one, don't care how much of a mess it will make, am not worried about keeping it watered or that it might catch fire. I want a real tree and I shall have a real tree. Come hell or high water, this home will have an evergreen in it. If he keeps pushing me, it will be the 5 of us, trudging around like Clark Griswold and clan in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Trust me, that will not be pretty! If I get my real tree, there can be peace and quiet across the land once more. Well, sort of- at least until I retire, when I'm dead! ;)
No, I truly envy him because he now has peace and quiet. If he wants it. His hobby is photography, so he will often steal away to photograph serene environments upstate in the woods or wherever. I need a "job" like that. In my home, there is no such thing as peace and quiet. And there never will be, the way I see it. Even if the kids are gone for an afternoon, there is still chaos, as Sweet Pea manages to stir up trouble in their absence. I think they plan it that way. I have no idea why though. I could swear they have a radar that senses a quiet moment in time approaching, then they go into attack mode to assure that moment in time is filled to the brim with excitement, whether it be positive or negative.
I'm in dire need of some peace and quiet right now. I have Christmas stuff to do. I have cards to write, gifts to figure out/buy online/wrap, cookies to bake (yes, I plan to do it this year), and possibly, maybe even get a tree up at some point. I do want some decor around here, but Dad and I are at odds about this one little detail...
The Little Man, according to Dad, will destroy a tree. I disagree. He states that The Little Man will remove everything from the tree, bit by bit. I say no, you just have to deter him from doing it. So, we are at an impasse. I think he is just avoiding the tree altogether because he promised me a REAL TREE last year. I am sick of a plastic one, don't care how much of a mess it will make, am not worried about keeping it watered or that it might catch fire. I want a real tree and I shall have a real tree. Come hell or high water, this home will have an evergreen in it. If he keeps pushing me, it will be the 5 of us, trudging around like Clark Griswold and clan in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Trust me, that will not be pretty! If I get my real tree, there can be peace and quiet across the land once more. Well, sort of- at least until I retire, when I'm dead! ;)
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