A Nightmare for Us All

On Thursday night (6/25), The DIVA disappeared from our house.

She ran away from home.

I woke up Friday morning and got ready to take her to cheerleading practice. I went downstairs, only to have The Big Man tell me that she was gone. I checked the house, checked the garage and found her bike missing, then I started making calls. The first was to Dad. He was at work, so there wasn't a lot he could do from there, but he said to keep him posted and he'd do whatever he needed to. I called my father-in-law and had him pick up The Big Man and The Little Man, so that they didn't have to go through all the drama. I had no idea what this was going to entail, but I knew I'd have to call the police and report her missing, and I didn't want the boys to have to be stressed any further than need be.

The boys had just left when the officer finally showed up at the house. I wasn't good at the details for the report because I didn't know exactly what time she'd gone missing. Dad last spoke to her just after 8 PM on Thursday evening, before we'd all headed to bed. When he got up for work on Friday morning and went to leave the house at 6:40 AM, the house was still locked up from the inside, so at that point, we assumed she'd left between that time and around 7:45, when the boys went downstairs to watch TV. This was all the information I had to give the officer, other than the missing bike. I had only 2 places that she might have gone: cheerleading practice or the pool, as The Big Man said she's told him that she might go there. He made the report, gave me the case number and the info to contact him, then left to go try to locate her.

I then got in the van and headed out to see what I could find. I drove all over 3 cities, trying all the places I thought she might possibly be, and came up with nothing. I called every friend of hers that I had a number for, and no one knew anything. I got on Facebook (which I'd HIGHLY recommend in a situation like this), and I posted the fact that she was missing. I heard from people I knew back in high school, whom I hadn't spoken to in years, all who wanted to try and do what they could to help us find her. I also went through her friends list and sent them messages, letting them know that she'd run away and that we needed to locate her. I let them all know that any info they might provide would be confidential, so that in case they were worried that if they gave her up and didn't want her to be upset, that they'd know I wouldn't tell her who gave me the info and create conflict or drama. I called hospitals and urgent care centers, her therapist's office, middle and high schools (hey, I was desperate!), and none of the calls got me anywhere. I just kept calling family members to tell them that I didn't have anything to tell them. :(

On Friday evening, around 9 PM, Dad, the boys, and I got into the van to venture out yet again. We headed over to home of one of the friends she'd been with the previous day to see if she knew anything, since she hadn't answered any of my calls or emails that day. I met her parents for the first time, who were incredibly helpful to us. The friend was rather vague, and I detected a lie right away. Her parents didn't pick up on it, but I did. The mom and the friend then took us to another girl's home who lived nearby where I was now convinced The DIVA was hiding out, based on the girl's responses to our questioning.

When we got there, this other girl's parents were already in bed, with no kids in sight. She was very nice to me and introduced herself very politely, knowing who The DIVA was and having had her at their house that day. She got very worried though, not knowing who I was coming to get her, as she had no idea The DIVA was a runaway, of course. My cunning child had gone so far as to call yet another kid to have them pose as me, so that she could put this girl's dad on the phone to give her permission to stay over there! This really upset the mom, so she got the dad out of bed to verify what exactly was going on. WHAT A MESS! :( We all went inside and sat down to sort it out, with me being all apologetic about my kid's manipulation of their poor family and the mom's apologies for my kid being missing, as she felt the pain of what it would be like to be in my shoes. It certainly wasn't the way we'd all intended to be introduced to one another! LOL It was a great conversation though, as The DIVA is a great kid - this was simply a cry for attention at this time. We decided that we'd allow her to stay over one more night, as the girls had gone to a church dance. I would come and get her in the morning rather than have a scene when they arrived home at their midnight curfew, only to find that Mom had, indeed, found her secret hiding place after all. At least, it allowed ME and Dad to be able to rest easy (sort of), knowing that our child was safe and taken care of, instead of other places that my mind had led me that day...places that no mother ever wants to go.

I'm happy to say that The DIVA is home now and safe. I picked her up on Saturday morning, and we've been trying to work with her on some of the issues she's raised. She seems to feel that we never let her go anywhere or do anything. We're the "World's Meanest Parents," and we don't care about her at all. We've always tried to work with her and meet her in the middle on things she wants to do, but it's not always possible, for whatever reason. I feel very badly that she has such insecurities, but I cannot fix them for her....it's things that she has to work on for herself, but with our support. She needs to learn to trust us more. We've always been there for her, done our best to meet her every want (within reason) as well as her needs, and unfortunately, she's still of the mindset that it's not enough for her. I can only do so much though, and I will not give up being a parent to appease her desires. Not going to happen.

In talking with her friends after this, as a number of them have been messaging through Facebook now in response to mine, I've found that her actions have been bothering them as well but they just haven't said anything about it. This REALLY concerns me, but I know that they are far more likely to get through to her at this time of "teen angst" than we parents are. Since we are totally uncool losers, the opinions of her friends far supersede anything WE might have to say. ;) I've enlisted the help of some of these kids, including the girls that she was with these nights, to try and discuss some of her behaviors with her. I really do have faith that they will get through to her where we have been unable to lately. I know that kids do dumb things - we ALL did when we were their age - but at their age, they do need some leeway to find their own way. When safety is an issue, their option to handle things themselves is revoked, and Mom and Dad must step in to do it. It's SCARY AS HELL that she did this, and her friends are in total agreement. I mean, she biked 10-12 miles, in the dark, on a 4-lane highway, crossing one of the most dangerous intersections in town! Her friends have a lot to say to her about the safety issue of this and other things, and they also want to talk to her about her lying as of late.

I'm SO glad that they want to see her on the right path, as it's incredibly important for your kids to be surrounded by good friends with positive influences on them. I'm also happy to see that the parents of her friends and I are sharing the same values in raising our kids, and that they're not black-balling The DIVA for her mistakes during all this. I mean, they could easily tell their children that they're no longer to be friends with her now, due to concerns for what stuff she might get their kids into after this, but they've chosen to give The DIVA the benefit of the doubt, and I appreciate that. I feel that her friends' positive influence will be far greater on her, than any negative influence she might have on them (if any). It's still going to be a bumpy ride though for a while, for everyone.

WOW.

*breathes deeply*

Parenting is never easy...use the buddy system and a TON of common sense. ;)

Happy Father's Day to the World's Meanest Dad!

It's only proper that the World's Meanest Mom be joined in wedded bliss to the World's Meanest Dad, right?! So, today, I give him his due!

Dad gives us unconditional love, even when he hates us some days.

He gives us money from his never-ending toiling at his job, with which we keep our home and lives comforted.

He gives us joy in our days, when he takes us on family vacations and little outings. He gives me joy in my nights, when he snuggles up to me, and we wash away the stress of our days together.

He gives us all kinds of things, even when he's not really giving us anything at all. Just the fact that he keeps coming home after all those hard days at work, means the world to me. He still wants to be with us, even through the toughest times, and that's irreplaceable.

I have something in my life that other women will spend their whole lives searching for and never find, and I thank God for him every day of my life. No one can take his place, no man could be a better man than he is, and I want the world to know that he is taken. I'm so very happy that we've made this family together, and that we'll be raising it together, enjoying every moment with each other.

Happy Father's Day, Baby...I love you. XOXOXO

Today, I am OLD!

My baby girl is 14 today!

(sniff, sniff!)

I'm feeling very old and wrinkled today.
(Anyone got any "old lady cream" on them?)

As I look around at the majority of my old friends and high school classmates, most of them are either unmarried, newlyweds, or have very young families. A good number of them could call my kid to come and babysit theirs! (hint, hint) When they were all preparing their college applications and picking out prom dresses, I was changing diapers and working 2 jobs to pay for my apartment whilst I finished my senior year. I did miss a lot of events, but I don't regret it. It was just "stuff," and it certainly wasn't the end of the world.

I've often felt sorry for some of these people, mostly because they missed a lot of that quick growing up that I did. A lot of people that I used to know as friends, ditched me after my daughter was born. They were apparently "too cool" to hang around someone who was so matronly now. I chalked it up to their loss, but frankly, I've never gotten over that hurt they caused me then. I have never blamed my child for things other people felt I lost out on, because I never missed it. I was too busy with important things, like seeing my baby's first smile, watching her crawl for the first time, and helping her take her first steps, all before college even started that fall. No one I knew had the joy of such miracles in their life!

The DIVA goes to high school in the fall. She will carry with her a group of friends, some of which she'll retain until graduation, some that will fade and be replaced a few times along the way. I'm going to be the youngest mom of them all. Her friends have come to know that, even though this is a fact and that I'm pretty cool, they can't pull any crap with me! I am more than happy to be on the level with them and be their friend, but I will ALWAYS be the parent first. Most of them are quite satisfied with this, a few are not so much....those are the ones I worry about. Those are the ones who are most like I was back all those years ago. ;)

As I watch my sleeping angel baby, who used to be so tiny but who's now taking up a king-size bed, I see how far she's come...how far we've both come. It's amazing to see how beautiful and spunky and sweet she's become. The DIVA never ceases to test my patience, but she's become a professional apologizer in her own right. ;) The past 14 years have been the best of my life, and I wouldn't change them for anything.



*Totally off topic....When we went shopping for this dress for The DIVA's 8th Grade Promotion Dance, SHE picked this one out herself. It bears a similarity to the dress that I wore to my own 8th grade dance. Mine was also black & white with spaghetti straps - black with white polka dots, as a matter of fact. If I dug out the photo and showed it to her, she may very well die of embarassment, you know. ;)

Remorse...we all have it

You know, I was reading an article today...

http://omg.yahoo.com/news/alec-baldwin-very-serious-about-suicide-following-leaked-voicemail-to-daughter/23911#comments

And I wondered, aloud, about feeling this same sense of shame. Yeah, I get upset at my kids, and I've also gotten to the point where I have said some things that I have regretted later on. YES, I ADMIT IT - SO WHAT?! I'm woman enough to do it, and in this public arena too. I'm also woman enough to say that I feel horrible about it afterward. I have also apologized for my behavior, after everyone calmed down and we all regained our composure. I've taken these rare opportunities to use my negative behavior to show my children that I'm human and that I, too, make mistakes. It is possible to come back from something bad and turn it around into something good, you know.

We're all entitled to have our moments of weakness, as our emotions can eat us away inside, however we're not allowed to hurt others in that process. It's up to us as parents to set the very best example we can, but there are times when we do mess up. Fortunately, a lesson can be learned from that, and we can use those moments where we've failed our children, to teach them how NOT to act and how NOT to treat others. What better example to use than those we set, and sometimes, it can be the negative ones that will leave the biggest impression. If we are able to make a right out of our wrong, to show our remorse and prove our sincerity within our apology, it's going to impress upon them that you did not mean what you said and that you wish to make it right for them. Their hurt will diminish much faster than if you simple seek an apology and don't explain how you were in the wrong. It's not about you're feelings, it's about theirs!

This may be where Alec messed up, at least in the public's eyes. Because he didn't make a huge production and sky-write it, with his child standing in front of him and all the cameras, he somehow didn't make this up to her. BS! Alec Baldwin, IMO, deserves nothing more or less than what his daughter thinks he does. If she's willing to forgive him and move on, than that is all that matters. It's not up to us to pass judgment on their relationship, nor is it up to his ex-wife to get involved here. It's between those two people alone, and for them to repair their relationship, if they wish. I feel badly for both of them, for this whole situation, as family affairs like this do not deserve the spotlight. I wish them the very best.

Does it still take a village to raise a child?

I think it does.

There have been a million and one times when I could have used an extra set of hands, or another voice of encouragement (maybe even a loud one), to help me corral my brood in a public place. It's not that they're always acting up either. One such example would be a few months back, when I went into Boston Store to stop by the Origins counter. I only had one thing to pick up, no shopping there or anything. I had The Little Man with me, and it was mid afternoon, so he was rambunctious (imagine that!). I had pulled out my credit card, and no sooner had I handed it over to the lady, when the kid is climbing out of his stroller and running away at full speed.

Now, I can barely walk most days, and I NEVER run because I simply can't. What The Little Man did here, was my worst nightmare! So I'm snatching my card and receipt from the saleswoman, who's finding it all sickly amusing, grab the bag and my stroller, and start off as fast as I possibly can after him. He's repeatedly looking behind him, to see if I'm still following him and how much space is between us, laughing yet still running away. I pass NO LESS than 8 adults in my chase, most of whom are employed there. They all witness a woman in tears, dragging an empty stroller, as she desperately tries to gimp along at a half-run pace whilst calling to her child, who's clearly outrunning her. If you were there, what would you do?

By the time I'm getting close to catching up to him, the only thing slowing him down is the double doors that lead out to the parking lot! There's an elderly saleswoman nearby, whom he's already run directly past, who makes the mistake of saying to me, "You had better catch that child before he runs into the street and gets run over by a car!" I blew a gasket at this point. I yelled, in her general direction (because I was busy running after someone), "WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?! MIGHT HAVE BEEN NICE IF YOU'D HAVE HELPED ME OUT HERE!" She had the nerve to be offended.... ha. She's lucky that's all I said, AND she's extra lucky that I didn't gather myself and my child and double back to give her an additional piece of my mind, AND find her manager to let them know what a bang-up job she was doing in customer service that day. ;)

Even after all that, I didn't bawl The Little Man out. After all, he's too young to understand that Mommy can't run after him because her back's no good. He was just having a good time! If he was with Daddy, it would have been fine, and many times, it has been OK for him to run ahead a bit. He hates having to sit in a stroller because Mommy can't manage him otherwise on some days, which is how this got started in the first place. It's not his fault, and it's not mine either- I do what I have to, to keep him safe and still accomplish things. On this particular day, things just went a bit haywire. :( If anyone with common sense would have taken a look at this situation, they'd have headed him off and stopped him, or at least slowed him down a bit, in order for me to catch up with him. Old Lady Rude certainly had no concept....she wasn't helping at all here. I'm sure she and her other elderly cohort there had a heyday, gossipping about what an awful parent I was to let my kid run around like that or some other foolishness. LMAO!

I came across www.onekindword.org, and I thought that a number of Boston Store patrons and employees might have benefited from its mission on this particular day. My child, luckily, didn't suffer any ill-effects from his little jaunt (and possibly worked out some energy), but had he have made it out the second double door, I don't even want to think about what might have happened. He was already through the first when I finally caught him. I freak out inside just thinking about it right now. My heart's no good for close calls anymore! :O

Can we? Can we? Huh? HUH? HUH?!

My children have found a new thing to beg for in their lives, as if there weren't enough before. They now beg, pretty much daily, to be taken to the West YMCA.


Honestly, this is a whine I can live with! It's a healthy thing to beg for, a family event that we can all enjoy in various ways. Here's how...

The DIVA wants to go so she can work out in the Lifestyles Center- running on the treadmill, using the stair climber, lifting weights, whatever- so that she can be in shape for cheerleading at the high school this fall. I also think she's trying to check out guys up there, as well as be checked out herself now. I'm no idiot, you know. ;)

The Big Man loves to go into the Youth Zone. He's discovered (after an hour of arguing about how dumb and stupid and lame it was) that they have a Wii in there, which has Dance Dance Revolution on it (a game we do not own). I'm happy as hell that he's latched onto that because he could really use the exercise, and I'm considering investing in the thing for the house now. They have snacks in there, help with homework, arts & crafts, readings, "hanging out"...oh, and video games.

The Little Man has found that he can do a plethora of activities in this large building! He can go play with other kids in the nursery, where they have TONS of new toys that he doesn't have at his house. He can go to preschool there too, which is one of his favorite things to do! He's mad right now because he can't go to "real" school, meaning the regular preschool classes, because he's not completely potty-trained just yet (not for lack of trying, just laziness on his part- LOL!). He can go to the gym and play basketball, and on certain nights, they have blow-up things to play on too. His greatest joy these days is to play fishy in the pool, and he's getting much better at doggie-paddling a foot or two away from Mommy. One of these days, he might even let her let go of him!

OH! I almost forgot! Mommy likes to go to the Y too! :)

I joined a Yoga for Bigger Bodies class. I picked this one because I have a serious back condition, and this class description said that it was a modified class for varied abilities. I thought that might be more helpful to me, since I really do need to get the stretching in but can't go full-out in a regular yoga class. I'm having a great time in there, and it's a great class with a great group of women. I make the night of my class "Mommy Night," and no one goes with me that night. It's a very relaxing evening, and I don't feel stressed or rushed at all because I don't have to drag anyone in or out of the house or van or building or van or house or....you get the idea. ;)

I am PROUD to be Generation X!

Luckily, I do not fall into THIS category of Gen X'ers, who are a total bunch of fools.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30585984/

It absolutely sickens me to see parents who coddle their infants into this sad form of toddler narcissism, which can only be blamed on their parents. When those poor kids arrive in kindergarten and join a school environment, that behavior often gets labeled as hyperactivity, ADD, ADHD, ODD, or any number of mental health disorders, when really it all boils down to awful parenting from the get-go. It's all downhill from there. :(

However, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and it can be turned around, but it is up to those same parents who caused the issue to take back the reigns and FIX IT FOR THEMSELVES! Have you even heard the phrase, "You made your bed, now lie in it"? I think that applies here. Of course, the real problem lies in getting the parents to realize that a problem even exists in the first place.

True story....

I am the mom who said to the vice-principal at one of my children schools last Friday (I'll withhold the name to protect the guilty!), "Go ahead and suspend _____ if you have to! If the behavior has warranted that punishment, I have no problem with that. It is high time that ______ learned that it's not going to be tolerated by YOU or by ME. If it affects _____'s permanent record, so be it. This is the fourth time in less than 10 days that we're having this conversation." The sad thing is, that I actually had to say this to the guy! (And no, this particular child did not end up suspended after all.)

I think this sort of parenting has molded our school system to fear these parents, as they're calling teachers and administrators, complaining that little Johnny or Janie isn't succeeding in school....HEY! Wake up, idiot! It's probably because your kid isn't applying themselves, not because the teachers not doing their job right! God forbid your kid get a bad grade on a test- why should the teacher give them a chance to do it over again?! Does your boss give you a chance for a do-over on a big presentation for a client?! Um, no. Maybe, instead of you handing them a wad of cash (because they sure didn't have to earn it by doing chores or anything constructive! *gasp*) and dropping your 11-yr-old off at the mall with his/her friends (why would a kid that young need to go there alone anyway?!), they could have got some studying done, actually learned the chapters and maybe even *GASP* ACED that test?!?!?! We are supposed to be prepping these kids for adulthood here. That's what human parents do. We're not raising our kids like wolves in the woods, where it really doesn't matter how one treats the others and survival of the fittest is the name of the game.

On the other hand, I am also the parent who, at the other child's school, has repeatedly gone to bat with that administration over their SERIOUSLY lax policies on bullying. I will wear out my tap-dancing shoes when it comes to protecting my children from something of which they are the victim. I will go to hell and back to be sure they are safe and secure. God help the other person who's on the other side of that coin, going up against Momma Bear, protecting her cubs! LOL I will not allow someone or something to hurt them in any way, if I can help it. I find it impossible to see how parents cannot delineate the difference between what behaviors belong to their children and that put them in a negative situation, and those that are created by others and leave them in a negative situation.

Maybe I just paid closer attention to my parenting manual...you know, the one they gave all of us when we left the hospital with our babies?

Bad news bear!

Someone is ruining my bed right now. He's jumping all over it, causing severe bruising to a certain someone's shins, without a care in the world. This certain someone is not amused.

Normally, The Little Man is pretty good when he's in my room. I have things in here that he shouldn't be touching, and he knows that, so he doesn't. Today, all those rules are out the window, apparently. He's been messing with the coupons I've clipped, my Turbo Tax software, magazines and mail I've yet to read, and, well, pretty much anything he finds. He's been in the bathroom, turning the water on and off, filling up the sink, putting random items into it. He's been "reorganizing" the toiletries in there. He's been playing with the toilet paper. He's been...

driving his mother nuts.

I know that he wants to be entertained (all the time), but there are times when Mommy doesn't want to entertain The Little Man. Or anyone else. This is one of them.

*Sigh.*

Is it time for Daddy to come home yet?

Catching you all up to speed...

So, it has been a while since I blogged...again...but I have a good reason for it, really!

WHAT?! You don't believe me?!

Well, if you're not convinced, feel free to choose one from the following list, one that you feel is most accurate to my situation.

I have not blogged lately because I have:

a) been horribly busy with family, schools, work, home life, etc., etc., etc.,

b) been stricken with malaria and had an awful time recovering after my trip to a tropical island paradise,

c) just totally forgotten to blog,

d) run away from home.

If you know me well, you probably chose E) all of the above. (BTW, b) actually happened during one of my vivid hallucinations during a recent episode of Yo Gabba Gabba.)

Now on with the show!!!


The Little Man, who's 3 1/2 now, is having the time of his life driving his mother, full-speed-ahead, into the nuthouse. At the helm of his pirate ship, he enjoys chaos and havoc wherever he may go. Here's one of his recent shenanigans...

Whenever the phone rings, it's a call to action for The Little Man. That ring means "make as much trouble as fast as possible before Mom's attention gets diverted back to me!" I'm sorry that I ruin his fun so often, when it's a short call or *gasp!* a wrong number, but he does work like a ninja, I'll give him that. ;) There are things he does that I don't even find right away, that I never see, hear, or smell until later in the day. It's both frightening and worth a standing ovation, folks. I hung up the phone the other day, started walking upstairs, and found this...



Innocent enough, right? Ha. He says to me, "I'm just waiting, Mommy." "Waiting for what?" I asked. He sat up with the same cutesy smile and said, "Waiting for you to vacuum!" Uh-oh. I got worried and started looking around for the source of what it was that I was supposed to vacuum UP. Knowing my luck, it was a box of glitter. My nose led me to the bathroom behind him in this photo, where I found this little number...



Yes. I was supposed to be vacuuming! I was supposed to vacuum up this lovely pile of carpet freshener, which The Little Man so graciously set out for me...in the bathroom sink. Yeah, it was the entire container, a brand new one too. Just in case you were wondering, carpet freshener, when mixed with water, creates a concrete-like substance. You could patch your driveway with it! Crazy. It was good luck for me, as the stuff made a plug of sorts that allowed me to scoop up a good bit of the stuff and put it back into the container, unharmed. Saved me from having to go spend another couple bucks on another one, even though I did have a $1 off coupon on this one! ;)

The Little Man isn't all trouble though. He has some really great days too, like the day he gave up his Nukkie. That started out with him and a pair of scissors (phone, again). He decided it would be a good idea to cut the end of the nipple part off the Nukkie. Guess what?! No more Nukkie, my dear! He actually bought that, even though we have 1.2 million Nukkies stashed around the house and in the car, just in case of emergency where it's not able to be located at bedtime. There is one still around, and I have no idea why because as of the end of February, The Little Man is Nukkie-free! He also has started going on the potty- YAY!!!! I'm getting rather tired of changing diapers after all these years, to be honest with you, so I'm very happy to get to this milestone. He goes right to the potty now for both "numbers" with only a few reminders during the day. He's excited that he'll get to start going to school, now that he's getting totally potty trained. I'm not sure who is more excited, exactly.


The Big Man had his birthday in January, and he turned the big ol' 1-0 this year! He had a great time with all of his friends at his Bakugan Battle Brawl Bowling Bash! (Say that 5 times fast, I dare you.) He LOVES bowling, but he wanted to do a Bakugan-themed party too, so we combined the two and it was a hit. Ten 10-yr-olds showed up, so it was a BIG party, bigger than we'd thought it would be. His buds found out what would be happening there, and no one wanted to miss it! The kids bowled, ate pizza and cake, then had a small Bakugan tournament before all the parents came. Instead of putting together goody bags with all sorts of little things the kids would throw away or eat, we decided to give each child their own Bakugan as a party favor. That way, even if they didn't bring their own Bakugan from home to play with in the tournament, they'd be guaranteed to have at least one. They were totally psyched, and I was, for a fleeting moment, the Coolest Mom Evah! ;) I suppose they expected the goody bags full of junk, but then they got a cool toy that they would use a million times and play with together. They did a great job with the tournament too, which they ran by themselves (read: Mom has no idea how to play so she couldn't run it anyway)...



I'm also proud to announce that The Big Man did awesome in Cub Scouts this year! He was promoted to Webelos II, which he'll start again in the fall. He really enjoys his den, and the dynamics there are good for him. He also built a really good car for the pinewood derby this year, and he did SO well that he won 2nd place for his Webelos I division! YAY!!!! At the Blue & Gold Banquet, which is the end-of-the-year celebratory banquet for all of the Cub Scouts in his pack, he received recognition on stage for his pinewood derby car's racing abilities and also got his trophy with the other boys. Dad and I knew, along with Grandma and Grandpa (who also attended), that The Big Man was going to get this award, but he didn't, so it was great to see the surprise and excitement grow within him when he found him name in the program. We were all so proud when he came back and showed us his trophy...




The DIVA....whew! Just saying that wears me out these days! LOL


Yes, and at 13, she is too cool for YOU, too. ;)

Well, she's just recently moved back home with us, after spending roughly a year and a half living with my sister's family. She was attending school in their district, and it drastically improved her grades and work habits, so overall, the decision to move her was productive. Her unexpected and abrupt move home has been very difficult for her, emotionally, but we're working with her to help her deal with that. I've just received word that both The DIVA and The Big Man will both be attending the other district in the fall, through Open Enrollment. We are all VERY relieved by this news, and we're even happier to have The DIVA home with us for good! :)

Over Christmas (which wasn't blogged about at all here), The DIVA spent some time with her grandpa, indulging in one of his hobbies: photography. The two of them and one of her cousins went out on a mini-trip while we were vacationing in Galena, and she shot some really amazing winter scenery. Here are just a few of those that she took...



I've helped her get set up to try and sell them, just like Grandpa! If you're interested in purchasing these, or if you'd like to see some others, feel free to contact me. She's offering prints from 4"x6" up to sofa-size (unframed), sets of note cards, desk and wall calendars, keychains, and mousepads. I'm proud that she's found a hobby and that she wants to incorporate her entrepreneurial spirit as well! The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, you know. ;)

I'm also happy to say that my baby girl has made JV football cheerleading as a freshman for the fall! GO TEAM!! :) She tried out a few weeks ago, along with the 8th grade girls from both middle schools and all of the high school girls, and she must have done very well to make it into one of those coveted few spots. She's going to spend her summer working on her form and building up some muscle (the only girl I know who wants to gain weight!), so she's asked me to help her with her diet and workouts. I'm glad she came to me with this, rather than trying to figure it out on her own. This is a huge step for us, as a mother/daughter team. She's blossoming and learning that I'm not such a nerd after all and that I might actually be of some use to her. *giggles*


As for me, random stuff...

Instead of treading water, I'm just floating right now. I've got so much going on all the time, I don't know which end is up. Hubby and I are trying to spend more couple time together, since it's been sorely lacking in recent months. I'm addicted to Fish Wrangler on Facebook and should join a 12-step program for it. I'll be planting my garden and sprucing up the landscaping in the coming weeks. My clothes are getting looser as each day passes, which means I have to go and get some more. I firmly believe in the power of Craigslist.

And my final random thought for today- I'm SO glad that we finally have a president who's staunchly advocating personal responsibility, for every American, so I don't have to go it alone out here! ;)

Call Mills Lane...and DCFS!

I have always been proud of the way I've been raising my children: parent first, friend second. Here, in this video clip, I see exactly why it is that I should continue to do it and be patting myself on the back, no matter how many nay-sayers I encounter in a day.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2008/10/17/pn.mother.daughter.brawl.cnn

This Mother-of-the-Year has decided that it was a stellar idea to not only take her 12yo daughter to a fight with another girl at a public park, but to also GET INVOLVED IN IT HERSELF. The mom (and I use the term very loosely here) is now facing charges for dragging the other girl by the hair and striking her across the face. This is a clip that's not to be missed.

As a young mother myself, I'm sure a large portion of the population will pull out that card to play, and it disgusts me. Not every young mother is as mentally ill as this one, and not every young mother makes the stupid decision to abuse not only her own child, but someone else's. Yes, I said "abuse." She's abusing her own child by bringing her up to condone violence, to act and react violently, and it's wrong. Obviously, the woman's got some serious issues herself to do this sort of thing. And to publicly strike another person's child like that?! OMG.

Every single adult that witnessed that should be held accountable as well, IMO. There's no reason they should have let those girls carry on like that, nor should they have allowed that woman to injure a child and calmly walk away from the scene. When are people going to start standing up for what is right?!?!?! I will continue to teach my kids that it doesn't matter how people look at you, or what they may say about you behind your back, but it is up to your own moral compass to guide you in situations like this and to stand up and do the decent and honorable thing to do. Parents, we're not talking about running into burning buildings here! You want your child to be the one who stands by when his/her best friend is being bullied? Or worse yet, to be the bully themselves? Of course not. Then teach them that this sort of behavior is unacceptable. Feel free to show them this video, and discuss their thoughts on it. Ask them what they'd do in that situation, and how they feel about a parent who acts like that. I know what my own kids will say when I show it to them...

The DIVA: "OMG! I'd be SOOOOO embarassed if my mom was at a fight I was in, let alone actually IN IT! Mom, you're never driving me to a fight. Ever."

(Me: "Um, not exactly what I was going for, but you're right...I'll never be driving you to a fight.")

The Big Man: Why would somebody's mom take them to a fight? Wouldn't they get in trouble for fighting?

(Me: "Yes, they should be getting in trouble. You don't need to resort to fighting and violence to resolve your issues.)

The Little Man: Fighting is naughty. They go to their rooms!

(Me: That's right, Little Man! They're being very naughty. The mommy needs to go to her room too.)

Being open with ALL of my kids, on a level they can understand, has been very helpful for me. It's our "friendship" connection that many parents feel they must have. I'm open and honest with them, about anything they want to ask me about, but I draw lines on their behaviors and my willingness to allow certain privileges at certain ages. No-holds-barred Muy Thai is saved for the over-21 crowd, and even then, only if you've been formally trained in Thailand.